Monday, December 8, 2014

bad vacation, weird house, broke down and arrested


we're in some exotic country, with my parents and a tour group. we're milling around inside a hotel with many shops so at some point we miss the information about that evening's dinner. it was a dressy kinda restaurant so i had to go buy a shirt and tie and some pants and shoes, but it seemed like i didn't have the money. i'm looking at the initial itinerary that was printed months earlier, it shows we are meeting for dinner at 1:30am. so my parents and wife and i all are killing time, trying to figure out why dinner is so late. we're getting bored and falling asleep. finally the others return from the actual dinner. i am livid. now it is too late for us to get any food.

the next morning we are killing time in the same series of shops inside the hotel. i walk into what appears to be a shop full of souvenirs with various sizes of buddha statues. as i walk up the steps, a woman grabs my wrist and twists my arm from behind. another woman gets in my face and tells me i can't enter the temple wearing my floppy hat and shoes. i try to argue that i didn't know it was a temple, because it looks like a stupid gift shop. they insist i remove my hat and shoes but i tell them to piss off, i don't want to see the temple anyway.

by this point i am really irritated. i decide to lay on the lobby floor face down, like i am dead. after a while i move, snake-like, without the use of my arms or legs around the marbled floor.

eventually we are sitting at the bar and begin to argue about the previous night's dinner. my dad takes offense and thinks i am mad at him, he wants to fight. i am screaming that it's my fault and i can't believe it happened. i storm out of the bar.

at some point i'm in a tall 3 story house near a large pond. the carpets are all red. the main stairway is in the center of the house, with two large rooms on each side... both with giant rectangular holes in the floor that go down to the bottom level. i don't know who owns the house but i told someone they should get some railings for those holes.

the next scene, i am driving my old red s-10 down a highway in this humid little country. something breaks down and i'm in the middle of the road. my stuff has been thrown and scattered everywhere. i'm slowly picking it up as locals on motorbikes are zooming past, trying not to hit me. finally a guy shows up and parks his bike behind the truck. "i'm helping warn people", he says.

the local police show up. they want to know where my driving papers are. i don't have any. then they are asking about the yellow box truck behind me. it's full of my band gear, but there is no driver and i have no papers for anything. so i go to jail and all the stuff is confiscated.

the end?

Wednesday, December 3, 2014

Mothership BBQ on my lawn

Dec 03, 2014 9:04am had a dream that the Mothership dudes had a semi trailer parked on their lawn. inside was a kitchen and two giant bbq grills plus many tables covered in heaping mounds of grilled food

Wednesday, November 26, 2014

huge house party, flyin through the air, spy business

Nov 26, 2014 11:54am crazy dream: we went to a huge house party. there were two lines of people. one for the upstairs party and one for the downstairs party. the house was dark colored brick on the outside and pinkish-orange on the inside, owned by a friend of a friend. after waiting a long time in line, we finally made it upstairs. within a short time, i somehow pissed off the homeowner, so we were asked to leave. she followed us to a large plastic tote where i grabbed my stuff. then she said she needed to give me a tupperware lid before i left to make sure she entered the sweepstakes(?) we ended up in a hotel room that was also painted pink. we were watching tv, lying on the bed when we heard a loud explosion outside. except the explosion threw us from the bed and myself through the air in a high arc. in sublime slow motion i came crashing down and woke up for a brief moment. later we were spies, living in some small town and conducting our spy business at the local library. another spy would show up and sit on the opposite side at a library desk with those little dewey decimal drawers. we would both pull out the drawer and i would slide the spy info and bomb making materials through to the other side, until the librarian showed up and almost caught us. finally i suggested we leave our hotel rooms, because they were so easily bugged. we went to a local teenage hangout and drank a beer and stayed paranoid. eventually i woke up.

Saturday, September 27, 2014

hollow man?

so i had this dream earlier in the week. i don't know where we are, or what we're doing, but somehow i cut the bottom of my palm open. instead of red flesh under the skin, there is empty space. i realize that part of my arm and hand are completely hollow. and that because of this, i will probably die soonish. i tell everyone at the party (?) that i'm somehow hollow inside, but they make jokes about it and act like it's no big deal.

that's all i remember

Monday, September 1, 2014

finding your shapshifting parrot on a craft beer train


we left the house in a small black car. we were talking the entire way to the train station. drove past landmarks that i don't recognize. hills, creeks, houses, and trees. she dropped me off at the train and i waited in line and got on. the train was a 'beer locomotive' or something. it went through small towns and stopped occasionally while everyone drank craft beer.

so i'm guzzling hop-filled pale ales on a slow moving train. the train is old, but lovingly refurbished. woodgrain this and wrought iron that. i step out on a small landing between cars, and there is mango, our sun conure. she is hanging on some metal bars, looking exhausted. i flip out and search for something to put her in, to keep her safe. i run into the train again. i can't seem to find anything. when i come back out to the landing, my cousin bobby is standing there. mango is gone. before i can flip out any more, bobby tells me that he is actually mango. she is a shape-shifter. i ask mangobby how long she has been following me, she says she flew 50 or so miles behind the car. "how did you get out the door?" "i flew quickly through before it closed." this almost makes me sick, that we didn't notice the bird flying out behind us. she could have been injured.

so i ask mangobby to stay in human form so i don't have to worry about her flying off, and we can talk. she agrees and has a beer. i decide to call barbie and ask her if mango is ok back in her cage at the house. "hello?" "hey, it's me. i just wanted to see how mango was doing?" "how mango is doing? fine, why?" "are you sure?" "*sigh* yes, i'm sure. let me double check" at this point i have become an annoyance. i smile at mangobby and am about to drop the news: the bird is safe in human form, drinking beer on a train with me. except she never comes back to the phone. i can hear her talking to dad in the background. like they're talking about car hubcaps or engine filters. medium volume. this goes on for about 15 minutes before i hang up.

i eventually get distracted when the train stops. more people are getting on. i set my phone down somewhere and now i can't find it. i run from car to car, looking for the phone thief, with mangobby in tow. some conductor-hat wearing kid takes me to a lost and found. he grabs a phone from a wooden box and hands it to me. "this is a samsung galaxy whatever, my phone is an iphone!"

eventually i wake up and check to see if my phone is there.

Saturday, August 30, 2014

eyehategod interview, moving to charleston

two separate dreams this morning:

i met with the guys from EYEHATEGOD for a book i was writing. it was supposed to be an official biography, i think. we were hanging out at various locations while i asked questions and wrote down notes and recorded them via audio. they gave more and more info. finally i started asking the tough questions and they didn't wanna talk so much anymore. then i woke up.

finally i got back to sleep. eventually i was told we were packing up and moving to a hotel in charleston, il. with a woman and her 3 kids. all the anipals were left behind or someone took them, i'm not sure. i kept protesting the move but was told over and over it was for the best. the hotel room had two queen sized beds and a small bathroom. there was a large backyard that all the hotel residents shared. at the bottom of some stairs, back in the far corner, were stacks of tiny rabbit cages. they were just laying on top of one another like someone put them down and ran off. our bunny wasn't even there. on one end of the hotel, there was a bar and pool area. i went down to the pool and tried to figure out how the hell i was going to get out of the situation.

the end?

Friday, August 22, 2014

Starting a band with steven tyler in the post-apocalyptic futurescape

Aug 22, 2014 10:57am i had a dream this morning where, in a post-apocalyptic dystopia, aerosmith's steven tyler and i decided to start a band together while riding our horses through the wastelands. we rescued kate hudson and she joined the band.

Saturday, August 9, 2014

drunken snuggie vs the cops, tourin' via porches, wendys ban

dreams from this morning:

i was in a yard next to a white picket fence type house. it was night. i'm talking to, or trying to convince a cop not to arrest my wife. she has had a few drinks and she's really mad and yelling at them. there is at least 5 or 6 and they want to take her to jail. she's wearing a snuggie. she goes  back in the house and sits on a recliner. we go into the kitchen. i keep talking to the cop, telling him she doesn't need jail, she needs a nap. then i hear them getting angry and i run around the other side from the kitchen into the living room. i'm only wearing boxers and a tshirt. all the cops have sawed-off shotguns and they all freak out and point them at me. i put my hands up and start yelling, "really? gonna shoot me in my underwear?" and they get embarrassed and lower the guns.

later, the band is on tour or something. we're playing a show on the porch of  a tall house somewhere in the south. the porch overlooks a large field. kids are running around and we can't find any power cables or cables for the PA. this goes on forever and the show never seems to start.

then another dream where wendys was banned from serving food forever by the government. people are debating if it was right or wrong. i just thought it was funny

Monday, June 30, 2014

worst dream ever?

so i had this awful dream the other day. it was me but not me. i was working in a dirty warehouse factory type of place, with toxic metal chemicals. i was new to the job and all the other workers hated me. we had to wear gray jumpsuits. everyone was covered in soot and dirt from the metal. my hands were still dirty no matter how many times i washed them, the metal had gotten into the cracks of my skin.
after a few weeks of working there, getting picked on and pushed around, i got very tired of it. there were several incidents that i can't clearly remember but all of them involved me hating being there and wanting a way out, and someone causing me pain. finally something happened and it put me over the edge. the guy who was always taunting me and causing me problems shoved me into some of the metal but i caught myself before falling into it and shoved him to the floor. there was a split second where i had a decision to make: beat the living shit out of this person and stand up for myself, or let it go. time sort of stopped. then i decided to get my revenge. i told myself that it wasn't real, after all. that nothing was real. then i viciously beat this persons face into a pulp and enjoyed it. releasing a mass amount of emotional distress in the process. once i stopped, everyone stood and looked at me, frightened. then the scene started to fade, and a voice started talking. it was an older version of me. "that was 60 years ago. that's why i'm here." and the view cut back to this other me as a very old man, who was in prison for this beating. who had served 60 years and only had a year or two left to serve. now i was feeling a tangled mass of anxiety, trying to figure out how i would restart my life after being behind bars for so long. i kept telling myself that it wasn't real but i slowly couldn't hear that voice anymore because the reality seemed to be setting in. finally i woke up and was pretty disturbed by the whole thing.

the end?

Monday, June 9, 2014

Coffinworm live 5.4.14

here's some footage i shot and edited of my favorite metal band in town.

Tuesday, May 20, 2014

big show for which band?


i was at some big venue that was totally packed. seemed like it might have been pepsi coliseum or something similar. i'm here to see the big show. eventually lazyhawk finds me wandering the halls. "are you ready to play? you start in five minutes!" this sets in a panic, as i don't know which band he's talking about. then i realize neither band has practiced for the show so it doesn't matter, it's going to sound sloppy. this goes on a for a long while, but i never get to the part where we start playing.

the end?

Monday, May 19, 2014

tiny brown piglet w/ wolf


we're in the backyard of a new house. it is surrounded by chain link fencing. we're playing with the cats. suddenly i see a tiny brown piglet, about the size of a potato. i point to it. despite standing very close to it she can't see it. i point again at the piglet as it starts to move. it's super cute. she still can't see it because of a small tree in the yard. eventually i realize there is a wolf attached to the piglet by a small string that runs into the wolf's mouth. i start to panic trying to figure out how to save the piglet. i can't remember beyond that point.

the end?

Friday, May 16, 2014

on vacation, rental home renovations, underwear riding


my wife and i were on vacation somewhere, probably vegas. we rented some house instead of staying at a hotel. for some reason she gets mad at me and decided she would renovate the house. she ripped up some floor tiles and part of a wall. there would also be painting involved. i tried to argue that it wasn't our house, (and we were on vacation!) to no avail. eventually i had to leave so i grabbed a motorcycle and took off. i think it belonged to the homeowner. anyway, i am blocks away at a stop light when i realize i am wearing only tighty-whiteys. i have to get back to the house and get my pants. i make a u-turn and head into some neighborhood. i ride the motorcycle down an alley and up into someone's backyard. finally riding it into their open backdoor. there are people in the house, and i try to explain to them i just need to get home and put on some pants, "i'm on vacation," i say. turns out it is some girl i went to high school who lives there. and her husband i also know from somewhere. we start remembering the old times and head to a burger king. we're eating whoppers and talking and finally i remember i am not wearing pants. so i head outside to get the motorcycle and it's gone. someone took it. now i have to walk back and i'm not even sure where i am.

the end?

Thursday, May 8, 2014

huge family dinner, sleeping = good, broken glasses


i'm sleeping in a cubbyhole adjacent to a big dining room. my mom is trying to wake me up because the entire family (and several other families, apparently) are over for some holiday dinner. i am in and out of a dream and getting irritated, so i curse and yell. allegedly everyone hears and is offended. finally i wake up and go into the dining area (or one of the dining areas) and knock over an entire bowl of peas and bacon. don't mess with me! finally i go up the stairs of this house (which looks like a mansion) and open a door. there are a bunch of little kids in there, all dressed up. i introduce myself and we become fast friends. waking up is yucky, they say.

later i'm walking down a street with a line of trees in the middle of it. my glasses suddenly fly off my head, i think because my head is getting too big. the glasses fly in two sections and land about 50 feet away. i run over to pick them up and they are broken in the center. i put them on even though they are broken and they fall off, over and over.

the end?

Tuesday, May 6, 2014

two giant arm gashes vs. foam healing worm

yesterday i had a dream i was hanging out with MSNBC's alex wagner. while sitting around with friends, i realized there was something gnawing on my right arm. i looked down to see two huge gashes on my forearm. they were an inch wide and a few inches long. on the left one was what looked to be a giant worm made of 'foam' that was part of my own cells. the worm had a head that was chewing the seams together to make it heal. we all watched in amazement. it was three times bigger than the biggest caterpillar. eventually it healed the cut all the way up and the worm disintegrated and fell off. the cut on the right became bigger though, and went all the way down to my thumb. it didn't hurt. i was showing it off like a battle wound. what?

the end?

Friday, May 2, 2014

jurassic park / alien mask / kiss nugent party


today i dreamed that i was at a huge festival show. i ended up onstage with lamb of god and randy was trying to make me sing some part of some song. later i was on a bus riding to kid rock's house.

yesterday's dream:

we were flying in a ship with an open top, like a boat. we're high above some nature preserve / park that is full of large dinosaurs and other massive creatures. leaning over the edge in disbelief, i can see an epic battle going on below. as we go a little lower we fly over some water. a huge whale-sized black shark fish thing with lots of teeth comes out of the water and flies right up below us and grabs the corner of the ship. the pilot speeds up and the entire craft shakes for  a second before the shark fish lets go and drops back into the water.

next we're at a party and someone there is looking for me. i put on my alien mask and pretend i'm someone else. this allows me to hear all the conversation about me. mostly about expectations of some sort.

eventually i am at someone's house for a different party. we're in the basement. allegedly KISS is playing. the equipment is all set up but the band hasn't shown up. suddenly ted nugent shows up and says he is filling in, by himself. he takes off his shirt and tries to look tough as he starts singing KISS songs. everyone starts filing out.

the end?

Thursday, April 24, 2014

sucked into criminal hillbilly family


two mornings ago, i dreamed that i ended up joining a hockey team. yesterday i dreamed i became an assistant for the band KISS.

this morning, i had a dream that i was working for some murderous hillbillies. we were in some garage made of corrugated metal. the garage was on a large property that was a commune for these criminals and their families. we were supposed to be fixing cars but in reality were doing sinister things. at first i tried to ignore the signs. but eventually i was being made an accessory. i can't remember specific details but it seemed like kidnapping, rape and murder were all involved.

at some point they were onto me and i had to feign ignorance. another time i went back to the garage to sabotage them, but was nearly caught. was chased in the dark into a field and hid behind some bushes.

another time i went into a dusty room in the back and it was filled with stolen televisions. a friend and i were going to watch something, sports maybe. i moved many dust covered tvs of all types to get to the flatscreen in the back. unfortunately didn't work and the boss came in and busted us.

eventually i burned the entire commune to the ground and felt vindicated. but the patriarch of the family was still free and he wanted to kill me.

the end?

Saturday, April 19, 2014

chuck's party, teal jeep test ride bump, hot sauces


was over at chuck brown's house for a party. everyone was sitting around on bean bags in a red room. there was a bright wood floor. i think we were watching tv. chuck had his head turned away from me. it seemed like he scowled at everything i said. finally i asked if he was mad. he told me he was sick of the fact that i had everything handed to me, where he had to work hard, even as a little baby.

later brian parker was test driving vehicles in this weird, sunny neighborhood. he pulled a teal colored, jeep looking thing to the edge of his driveway and ran back inside while it was still running. i ran across the street and jumped into it. i took a right and hit the gas. the pedals were really small and far away. i got up some speed and thought how funny my prank was. except a car in front of me was coming to a stoplight, much slower than i thought. i slammed on the breaks and the teal car slowed and slowed but right before it stopped, it bumped the car in front of me oh so gently. they looked like they were going to pull over. shit. i don't have my license and i'm just wearing a pair of shorts. they pulled forward instead because of the intersection. whew. then they pulled over next to a department store ahead. oh noes. i hit the gas and sped on by them, turning my head so they couldn't see my face as i passed.

i brought the car back to brian and we had a chuckle. he jumped in the car and took off. i walked over to a park area and under a picnic shelter looking structure was rob hough and a couple other dudes eating pizza. or maybe they were trying different hot sauces. i leaned over and told one of them that i bumped the car. he laughed. then i realized he would be the lone witness to testify against me. doh! dudes were getting mad that i didn't want any hot sauce, but i was strategizing.

the end?

Friday, April 18, 2014

sporting goods megachurch family adventures


i'm walking with a large family, but not my current family. we are inside what can only be described as a massive sporting goods store / megachurch. it's bigger than an amusement park. there are sprawling green manicured lawns and weird futuristic buildings off in the distance. a canal and small walkways run throughout, yet we are still 'inside'. someone hands me a 'catalog' for the place. it's probably 8x10 per page but 10 inches thick. that's impossible, i think. they couldn't have that many items. turns out only a small part of it is items for sale, there are other texts, stories and puzzles for kids taking up the rest of it.

next we are in an upstairs area watching a film on a screen so large you can't see the edges. the movie is about betrayal and killing your boss. sharon stone plays two identical looking characters trying to get one over on each other. one of them is the boss of the other. they are suspended by wires in a room with a large domed ceiling. neither of them can really move because of the wires. the boss was trapped into this scenario, but now they are both talking about killing each other. the scene is very intense and the dialog very dramatic, but i don't know any other details of the story. as i'm making fun of the scene, someone gets offended. my mom asks some snarky question about cd manufacturers, implying i slept with one. "what are you talking about?" "nevermind." more snark.

soon we're in a large room that feels like a cafeteria. there are big folding tables with attached seating just like in school. everything is white and orange. the ceiling has a mural painted on it, to look like clouds and sky. there are ornate, wooden carvings hanging down from it. some are painted to look like angels. one is supposed to be god himself. he looks like a nondescript, short haired jesus. he has wings and is reaching towards the people down below.

i'm sitting at a table with some of my family. i have a giant jambox and pop in a cassette. some great tunes come flowing loudly out of it. suddenly we are asked to turn the music off. turns out there are handicapped people around the room who are trying to sleep. some are in wheelchairs, some are in folding beds. i woke some of them up with the music. oops.

eventually i'm in my own apartment. i have a large sliding glass door. just outside of that door, lying on the porch / deck, are three cats. they are all lying on their backs, twitching ever so slightly. it looks like they have all been poisoned. i don't get a chance to find out why because i wake up.

the end?

Thursday, April 17, 2014

joining taint'd, bronze bathrooms, water parks & roller coasters


the band joined forces with another band called TAINT'D. we all moved into a 20x20 garage in a blizzard to practice. we had a space heater and one lamp. outside a sliding patio door (covered by blankets) was a swirling mass of snow. the walls were covered in carpets, foam, blankets and posters. it was dark outside and we were praying the power didn't go out.

next i'm in some large building. it looks like my old junior high school, named after failed presidential candidate wendell l wilkie. i'm alone, but it sounds like someone is following me. i have to go to the bathroom. i finally find one and all the toilets and fixtures are made of bronze. even the divider between stalls was bronze. i wanted to go to the bathroom but i was worried whoever was following me would ambush me.

eventually i am at a huge water park. it's so big i can't see the end of it. there's a large sloping hill on one side with slides connected to endless floating rivers full of innertubes and people. i have lost my friends and family and the only way to get to them is to leave the park. except i don't know how to do that. i'm floating on my innertube and trying to find the exit. i need to get to the parking lot but the floating river doesn't go that far. the park staff stops me and i have to walk to the car.

next i'm in what looks like a roller coaster, but isn't. there are no tracks and no wheels. my mom is in the small 'car' next to me and we're flying around some sort of castle with lots of curved walls. we are very very high up in the air and it feels like we'll fly off the 4 foot wide shelf we're coasting on. i have to grab onto passing statues to correct our flight. there are cars in front and in back of us, people are screaming for joy and also sheer terror.

there was something about two blondes in a huge fight. screaming and tears. they used to be friends but something happened. i can't remember. eye makeup is running down their faces.

yesterday i dreamed about going back in time with the band, but i failed to write anything down. by the time i thought about it, i had lost every single detail except the time travel part. ugh.

the end?

Tuesday, April 15, 2014

party with severin, the price is right, boulder ride


i was at a party hosted by mr todd severin. it was in some vfw type hall basement. he was giving away prizes for various categories. there was a huge stereo providing unending classic jams, but i had to fix the speakers because somehow they stopped working. at the end of the night, i was awarded 'best sound' (for fixing the speaker problem) and 'best songs'.

next i was on the set of the price is right. one of the models, manuela arbelaez, was sitting in a director's chair off to the side. i must have been a contestant because it seems like i had a nametag. i'm also wearing a very bright yellow suit jacket and a small black narrow tie. and yellow shorts. i look like spongebob. i walked up and started a conversation. she was polite but didn't want to hear it. i asked her if we could be friends. she started to look uncomfortable so i went to catering. there was a long table with a black tablecloth where all the staff had already eaten. i found a piece of orange looking cake and sat down and finished it. someone else saw me and started grabbing leftovers.

finally i am outside somewhere, it looks like utah or arizona. large orange boulders and desert. there is a huge row of boulders and a group of my friends head over to them. i climb up on the smallest one and make my way to the big one in the middle. as soon as i get on top of it, there is a huge explosion. the boulder i am on is shooting up into space. i begin to panic as there is nothing to hold onto. soon the boulder is slowing and it looks like we are a thousand feet in the air... then dropping. slowly picking up speed. then faster and faster. i am beyond panic now but i know if i want to survive i will have to jump off at the last minute. so i crawl to the edge and look down. just at the point of impact, i slide over the side. the boulder rolls towards me as i hit the ground, so i roll. it rolls some more, it feels like it's going to crush me but i roll again and finally it stops.

the end?

Friday, April 11, 2014

big ole tour, bunch of bands, one van


the band is finally going on a big tour. but for some reason we are sharing our van with all the bands. one of the bands is exhorder. another is either fates warning or dream theater, i can't actually tell. then there are two death metal bands that i don't even know. all the bands are milling around the van. like most of my dreams, we're in the woods. there is a trailer full of gear and the van seems extra long (that's what she said?). there is a middle aisle running through the seats, like a school bus. we are all riding in the van though, it seems like there is 24 people total, plus merch guy and roadies. the only problem is, the exhorder guys don't like the dream theater guys. they are mocking them behind their big curly hairdoos. everyone is wearing black. black shirts, black pants, black shoes.

 i step out of the van and someone opens a road case. it's an exhorder hoodie, they screened the inside of the hood part. it looks really cool. i want one.

at some point the guys say we have to adjust the ventilation on the van, since it is going to be so crowded. except we pull it out and it's giant aluminum tubes, like the ventilation on a huge building. we have to cut a hole in one of the tubes and run another tube to the back. what?

eventually, it's time to leave. someone from dream theater comes up and tells me to get in the van. then he says, "remember, the first show is in Germany!" which doesn't make any sense either, since we're still in the USA sitting in a van. whatever.

the end?

Thursday, April 10, 2014

loose hedgehog - yellow bike - record store restaurant


i'm at a friend of a friend's house. i have never been here before. it's in some area surrounded by lush, green trees. the house is very small and cluttered. my friend and his friend (who owns the house) are off doing something in another room. i am bored and wandering around. in the kitchen there's a little girl sitting at the table, eating breakfast cereal... cats are fighting each other below. there is a sliding patio door behind her but it's dark outside. i am wearing a dress for no reason other than it seems like a funny thing to do. i see there is a small hedgehog on the floor and i follow it to the door. the door blows open and it runs outside. i yell to my friend's friend that it escaped and he yells back that it's fine. i decide to go after it to keep an eye on it. except when i get outside it has grown to the size of wild hog. it actually looks like it turned into a wild hog. it runs off into the woods. i yell for the others but they can't hear me. somehow i know it's going to get to the size of a rhinoceros.

at this point, still wearing a dress (which is more or less a patchwork of ugly, pastel colored squares that is long enough for me to eschew wearing pants) i decide to go for a late night ride into town. even though it's 2am, i am riding a bright yellow bicycle. i can't remember any of the ride itself. but when i get to town, it looks like a very old european village, but everyone speaks spanish. lots of hand carved cobblestone and brickwork. everything appears very very old. suddenly i am driving the band van. (remembering?) i want to go to the record store / restaurant but i can't find any parking. i end up jumping a curb and driving the van down a bunch of steps, first one angle then another. still can't find a parking space. i jump on the interstate (which is high in the sky) to head home.

now i'm back on the yellow bike and i realize i don't have a lock for it. i find a room next to the record store that is open and has some odds and ends in it. so i put the bike in a corner. when i get to the record store-restaurant it's packed, even thought it's 2am. i'm standing in line and kids are pointing and laughing. two latino girls are squeezed in line behind me and they can't stop giggling. i am laughing too. the store owner isn't really laughing though, but he doesn't really mind me being there. the record store-restaurant is very small. white tiled floors and large bins of vinyl records that are all built on stands so the records are waist high. there is one small path that winds around all the records. the ceiling is low and there are lots of flats and other dumb crap (piƱatas?) hanging from it. the walls are covered with promotional items and the lights are a dull fluorescent.  i see a friend i haven't seen since high school. i can't even remember her name. she asks the usual questions, "how are you doing? how are things going? what's with the dress?".... i peruse the records for a while, seeing albums and artists i've never heard of. i don't think i have a wallet, or any place to keep any records, so i don't buy any. eventually i decide to get some food and that takes forever. seems like i'm the only one eating. it's a small booth in the back with very tall, dark wooden chairs and table. the entire area is painted a bright, light blue. there is a small screen door that goes to an outside kitchen. it slams every time someone goes through. i can't remember the food but it might have been soup. or mexican. or mexican soup. most of the original customers are gone now. and it's daylight. some men come in and start harassing me about the dress.

i decide to ride home and say goodbye to the owners. but when i get to the adjacent room, there is even more clutter and several yellow bikes, all of which are missing parts. some are hanging on the wall with no wheels and another is in pieces. none of them are my bike though. (and by 'my bike' i mean the bike i was borrowing from my friend's friend). there is drywall piled up in the room also. some is cut, some are fragments. some are up on saw-horses. there are other tools and lots of dust covering everything. i spend the rest of the dream going around and asking about the bike. it's like the dream stopped and i was stuck in it because the bike was stolen. i literally wait around in the dream for something to happen, someone to show up with it, some witness telling me where it is. nothing. eventually my friend jason treadway shows up and he agrees to give me a ride. i follow him down a gravel path through a thick patch of bushes. still bummed about the bike. then i wake up.

the end?

Monday, April 7, 2014

crazy store, kurt at the mall, lost my stuff


i'm in some crazy store owned or partly owned by josh homme. there are all kinds of kidrobot collectible and limited release toys. there are weird but hyper stylish rock and roll clothes. tons and tons of stuff. everywhere i look is something i have never seen before that is something i would probably want. there is rad colored glasswear with various rare band names and tv show tie-ins. i am like a small child in awe. barbie gets bored, she wants to leave. she goes and sits by the register while i keep finding more freaky weird awesome stuff.

later i'm at the shopping mall with kurt cobain. he looks young and healthy. i think i'm 17 years old. we're waiting in line for something. maybe a pretzel, i dunno. there are people starting to stare and whisper. they can't believe he is here. i ask him if it bothers him and he says it doesn't. there are two high school looking, bratty faced girls across the way. he asks me if i think they would do him. "probably that one on the right" i say.

much later i am in the airport. i have returned from somewhere far away. i can't find some electronics. one is a twitter only device. the other is similar, but for instagram. there may be another missing. i can't tell. i want to go back and check the airplane but it's too late for that. we end up at this house. some of my cousins are there. it seems like somebody's young, snarky girlfriend's house. the walls are black and the carpet is red. we have to stay here for the night. i'm pacing around, still looking through my stuff for my missing stuff. i go upstairs and it's the same: red carpet. black walls. i see a sagging part in the carpet and realize it's a giant hole covered up with a carpet piece. a trap! i don't fall into it and i don't appreciate it. suddenly barbie comes in and sits down on a couch. i can see she is sitting on my electronics case! "get up!" i yell. she seems annoyed that i think she took the electronics. but the case she sat on is empty. anxiety. ugh.

the end?

Monday, March 31, 2014

suicidal actress - tweaker guy - chainsaw maniac


i'm on top of a brick building in some city. it's night time. there is some kind of ruckus going on below. firetrucks, people running. i can't tell what started it but it looks like bedlam.

eventually i am hearing about this young actress named savannah. she is blonde and cute and clinically depressed. she tried to kill herself once with pills but only ended up sick. the second time, she tried to drown herself in the back of a speedboat. i can see the white boat sinking in the back and the water rising over the seats.. she drank heavily because she thought it would be easier. wearing a white bikini, she goes under the water and someone yanks her out. her eye makeup is all streaky.

later i change into a thin tweaker guy. someone is setting me up on a date with this suicidal girl. i ride my bmx style motorcyle over to her house. it's night time. the house has no front walls, so you can see right inside. i pull up and there is a couple snuggling on the couch. the guy says something to the girl about sleeping with all his friends and they get into a fight. screw this, i think. i leave my bike behind without even knocking on the door (which isn't there either) and start walking home.

i get down the block and it suddenly feels like i'm delivering pizzas. a masked, chainsaw-wielding crazy person jumps out from behind a fence. i am startled, but before i have a chance to run, he chops my left arm off. i don't drop the pizza in my right hand. finally i wake up.

the end?

Tuesday, March 25, 2014

burned man, rastafarian engineer, pee pee slot machine


i wake up in some sort of metal room. it looks like a lab but it is also a recording studio. there is a team of doctors and nurses working on a man who is burned very badly. his skin is burnt completely black, with cracks of red around the edges. they are doing vitamin injections directly into his skin. he doesn't appear to feel anything but he knows i am in the room. he doesn't speak to me but he looks at me several times. he's alternately lying down and sitting up, talking normally. he looks like a cross between a zombie and a comic book character. i guess am there because the band is using the studio during the day.

earlier, when the band is setting up in the studio, a tall rastafarian guy comes in and tells us we have to leave. his dreads go all the way down his back. allegedly we keep breaking into the studio. he tells us we can't record there. except he records us anyways since we are already set up.(?)

eventually, i walk out of the room with the burned man and into what looks like a cross between a shopping mall and a level of DOOM III. i can only see about 20 feet and the rest is pitch black. i'm on a metal deck which is above a lower level. there are metal hand rails. there are a bunch of people out there on the deck. i have to pee really bad. i walk up to some kind of slot machine and lift it open at the center. i realize i'm standing there in tighty whiteys. i start to relieve myself and some woman asks if i have a problem cause she's going to watch. that freaks me out so i tell her i'm going to go outside instead. having to pee eventually wakes me up.

the end?

Monday, March 24, 2014

a big festival i can't remember


it was some kind of big festival. a 420 nerd fest maybe. i am having trouble with the details. it was outside in the woods. lots and lots of people. some were famous actors. one was the guy who played boon in the tv show lost. there were lots of shenanigans that i can't remember.

the end?

Saturday, March 22, 2014

pool time for the mentally challenged, pilot instructional video


i was in a home for the mentally challenged. we were in an indoor pool with tan tiles and dull, yellow walls. there was a sun roof. myself and a majority of the patients were at one end of the pool, while an instructor and a patient that looked like bubbles from trailer park boys were at the other. he was teaching him how to serve a volleyball. he missed several times and overshot several times. someone got hit in the face with the ball. at some point i looked down and saw a long haired cat lying on the bottom of the pool. i yelled but no one cared. i grabbed the cat, pulled it from the water and hoisted it on the side of the pool. it looked like colonel meow and it was soaked. it didn't suffer any ill effects and for all i can tell it was trying to drown itself. one of the employees brought out an old school tv and held it over the water so we could watch a vhs instructional video. "don't!" i thought.

next, i'm in an instructional video. i'm a pilot sitting in an airplane cockpit. the video is for pilots. the narrarator says "always have a moth in the window with some food" as if a moth in the cockpit will help you detect pressure changes. what?

there was more but i forgot it all.

the end?

Friday, March 21, 2014

war, fast food, box trucks, dead birds & a missing shitty gig


i was in some war, but it was not me. i was black. lots of carnage. it was depressing. i can't remember too many details now, but after the war i worked at a fast food place. more discrimination and depression. when i wrote it down the dream was vivid. i can barely remember it now.

at some point i am driving a box truck. looks more like a UPS vehicle. i'm in the small downtown area at night. one of the main streets went from one way to two way and i'm on it. except it's not marked. and there are no stop signs or lights. so i'm having fun, yet being careful. no cars are anywhere on the streets. i finally pull up a ramp and onto a raised parking area. it surrounds a huge wall, probably 100 feet high or more, on top of which are apartments. i park on a corner and there are no rails, so i have to be careful or the truck will tumble off the edge.

i go inside my apartment. my four parakeets are dead. someone shoved the cage in the closet. my friend alex pops in as i'm trying to revive them, but they are all stiff. he says they were being very loud. "they were dying" i tell him.

shitty gig: i wrote down 'shitty gig' and i remember enough that there was a long sequence that was awful but i can't remember anything else. will post later if it comes back to me. gah
there was another part where i was talking to a bunch of little kids and they thought i was hilarious. i have no idea what happened.

the end?

Thursday, March 20, 2014

dude buggy colbert - film beach krimm colts


i'm on a beach riding dune buggies with stephen colbert. he wants to race and i agree. i decide to go behind the rocky hills but there is no path there. i lose.

then we're on the set of a movie. it's a small room off the beach. light wooden paneling. dark wooden furniture. the wall facing the beach is missing, so the camera can shoot. there is a mirror above the dresser that reflects the ocean. i can't make out who else is in the film, seems like one or more of the indianapolis colts. finally someone yells and there is an open portal across the way. i can see a similar room through the opening. the eldemur krimm guys are there. fred comes through and i yell for him to come over where we're shooting but he gets spooked and goes back through the portal. when i finally get over there it is closed.

the end?

Wednesday, March 19, 2014

van troubles, band crashers, russian visit


coming home late. in a van full of people. my wife seems to be driving. it's raining and very dark out. the highway is full of cars going too fast for the rain. suddenly the car in front of us swerves and there is a group of children kneeling around a large box full of puppies, directly in our path. everyone screams. i grab the wheel and we fly into the other lane, barely missing the children and the car next to us. we go off the road.

finally it stopped raining. the first light of dawn is starting. everyone is gone. the van is stuck in a field, between two other similar vans. there is a telephone pole nearby and a dirt road behind me. off in the distance are some woods and fields as far as the eye can see. i can't drive the van out, but i am able to move the adjacent van by hand (like superman). which somehow allows me to get out.

now i'm in what appears to be my kitchen, running to the bathroom in tighty whiteys. there is a guy standing in the kitchen, he waves at me. after i come out of the bathroom, i recognize him. he's some dude who i always talked to at the cat, way back when. (alley cat in broad ripple) he's loaded groceries all over the kitchen. every surface. all the floors. he tells me the band is staying here while they record their album. three weeks. what band? some band i don't know, extreme metal. they are called CREEATHON or CREATURRR or CREEATNN or something. i finally realize it's not my kitchen after all. randy blythe walks in, i'm explaining that the band is staying here. he says it's cool, tells me it's his house. apparently i am there to babysit the band and the house.

soon the band shows up. there is a bunch of family with them. kids. wives. aunts. a grandma. i'm going around pointing out the couches to one of the wives. "a place to crash here, a pull-out bed there, this chair folds out..." she's not impressed with the rundown house. kids are running around and screaming already. i'm not so sure about this anymore.

next we leave the house and end up in russia. was the house close to the russian border? i have no idea. now we're sitting in some sort of wooden lookout structure. there are russians everywhere. apparently russia is mounting an offensive. "what's Putin gonna do, come take over the studio?"
i yell. everyone turns and looks at me. maybe he is? i wake up.

the end?

Friday, March 7, 2014

lost in boston, returning to animals on the loose


we're on vacation in an alternate reality boston, the headquarters of the reeses chocolate company. we're trying to get out of town and heading the wrong way, so we get out and start walking. there is a sidewalk filled with people that goes above the motorway and we need to get across it.

the only other part i remember, we came home from the trip but were returning to my childhood home. my wife let me go in first as she needed to park the truck (which is her older black truck). i open the front door and inside is a huge mess of bird seed and animal food all over the dining room floor. there is mango (the sun conure), presto (the cat) and dorothy (the dwarf rabbit). they are all out and playing on the floor. i am freaked out for a second because birds and cats aren't supposed to mix. then mango leans her head into presto as she passes, exactly like presto leans into you when she wants to be petted. so i realize they are friends and mango learned her mannerisms. but i still have to clean up all the mess before my wife comes in.

the end?

Thursday, March 6, 2014

drug bust, chubby psychic lady, kitchen encounter


there was a drug bust. i can see a small white room. scales and baggies on a table. there was a woman on the floor in various stages of undress. i can't tell if she is alive or dead. that's all i can remember.

eventually there is a little chubby psychic lady. she gave a reading and the word spread. she's doing readings on a greyhound bus. there is a line from the bus down the sidewalk, through the park, around the corner of people waiting to see her. somehow they get confused and think my wife is the psychic. now they are calling her instead and it's a big hassle-fest. there seems to be much more but i can't get to the details.

then i'm at some sort of family get together. most everyone is in the other room, but i walk into this unrecognizable kitchen. it has maroon marbled counters and black tiled floors. lots of food still laying around. my uncle paul is in there with another older man. he barks something at me, telling me to do something. i ignore him and am messing with something in the sink. there is a confrontation. i can't remember any other details.

 the end?

Tuesday, March 4, 2014

dirt roads, luxury homes, blood draw, basement bar


 driving on a dirt road between the open ocean and empty fields, as far as the eye can see. except it's overcast. the wind is blowing a chilly breeze. the car is a dark color. i can't tell who else is in the car. i can't tell how long we've been driving. we're not sure if we are heading the right way so we try to turn around and get stuck in the mud.

next we are further down the road, looking at luxury homes, right on the beach. there seems to be a cluster of them together. we come around a curve and there is a stream running away from the ocean. we follow the stream and it goes directly in front of one of the homes. the house is a dull green with dull yellow trim, a large front porch that doubles as an open-air living room. there are dark triangular windows and i can see the ocean through another set of windows on the inside. the front porch steps lead right into the stream.
"this seems unusual?" i ask to no one in particular.
suddenly, a real estate agent says "oh it's perfectly safe. in fact, this house is already sold. the owners are coming right now!" some people with luggage arrive and say hello. they say the house is safe.

we continue walking along the stream and come upon another home. it looks like a big log cabin, also with a porch. the entire structure seems covered in black tree bark. on the porch are cots with people lying down. it looks like they are giving blood. a nurse in a cream colored outfit and hat comes up and greets us.
"are you hear for your test?"
"uh, no thanks"
"they are free"
"ok then"
she acts like she's going to get a blood drawing kit, i tell her i have my own. i pull out some sort of small black case from my pocket. inside are a few items that look like safety pins. one has a large fake diamond on one end. which kind of looks like a tiny disco ball. i start trying to poke my vein with it but the diamond keeps falling down and getting in the way. finally the cream colored nurse asks if i would like her to wake the lady up. "uh no?" i look over and behind the porch railing is my crazy neighbor lady, snoring on a cot. i scream "NO" but it's too late, she's starting to open her eyes. we start walking quickly away.

eventually we're far away from the ocean. walking through a big yard with freshly mowed grass. it's still overcast but slightly less so than earlier. we're at the home of a friend. it's a one story ranch type of deal with grey siding. i have the friend on the phone since we don't have a key. i walk into the open garage making a sexually offensive joke and he tells me to cool it. his niece or grandaughter is inside the home. oh. sorry.

now i am in my own bar. it's in a basement somewhere. it looks somewhat like indy's jukebox but the layout is different. and the wood paneling is black. the stage is off to the left. there is a hallway that doubles as a backstage. we just opened the place and are having an open mic night. i am going to get up and read lyrics to doors songs in some funny voice. there are only about 4 people there. i can't actually see the bar or how big the room is because i never look that direction. suddenly i need to leave for some reason. i must be my instincts because cadger and his friend walk in. oh well i should probably take my p.a. too. i start unplugging this little combo amp from a cd player and my old aiwa shelf stereo that stopped playing cds in 1995. i put all of them on a dolly and walk past cadger. he is pissed. i think they were going to get up and do wino songs. too bad.

there seems to be more but that's all i can remember

the end?

Monday, March 3, 2014

gas stations, lakes, book room, dream money

i'm working at a gas station somewhere in the south. the station is painted white and has a large, white overhang where the pumps are. across the highway is a wooded area. there is a cute black lady customer who always gets her gas here. somehow i had stolen something out of her front seat while she was paying for gas. a week later she returned and as she was inside paying, and i noticed a small container of pink liquid, which i think was window cleaner or maybe perfume? for some reason i am compelled to take it. she returns to her car and drives away only to return a few hours later. this time she talks to the manager and soon i am fired. as she is going to leave i confront her and return the items, telling her it's not something i would normally do. she is very angry and i break down in tears and beg for her forgiveness. it's one of those good cries too, with snot and lots of stammering

next, i am an older sheriff's deputy. i'm in a rowboat with another deputy and some sort of bloodhound. the other deputy and i are wearing fuzzy earmuff-type sheriff hats, sheriff-esque winter jackets and brown sheriffy pants. we're on a lake surrounded by trees. as we get closer to the opposite side, i can see a break in the line of trees. the water is running over the edge there, like an infinity pool. there is some sort of structure in the water very near it. as we drift close to investigate, the bloodhound jumps up and out of the boat, like it's going after something. it quickly goes ass up over the falls. i'm upset about the dog but my partner is focused on the structure. i can make out some details now. it looks like a submerged, old-timey riverboat, with only the top corner above the water. then i squint and see it looks more like an amusement ride, a roller coaster from the early 1900s.

i don't get to find out what it is, because i am transported through time. i am in the same place, only now it is a tall hill with trees. i am at the top with a lady in white. she is showing me the destruction. i hear a noise and see a giant crane arm, yanking a huge beautiful tree out from the edge. roots are snapping and dirt is flying. the lady is gone and i'm running along the edge, telling them to stop. i see a man with a hard hat. he spotted me and is yelling for me to get out of there. as i come close to the edge i tumble down and down. landing in a huge pile of dirt about 50 feet below. my brother seth is there as are others i don't recognize. they are asking if i am ok. i tell them i am and pull a can of perogies out of my pocket. the can has an easy-lid so i open it and drink the perogies like juice. everyone seems to laugh at this.

the next thing i remember, i am transported to an empty gas station. i am buying it to live in. it is instantly decorated and furnished and people have come over for a 'gas station warming' party. in the center is a small room i blocked off using bookshelves. one of the shelves slides so i can completely immerse myself inside the room. with my books facing towards me. as i am showing the book hide-a-way to chuck and corey, dan pops in and tells me someone invited cadger guttersnipe. i decide to investigate and put a stop to it, but he has already arrived. things quickly escalate and there is a fight in the book hide-a-way. friends quickly break things up and cadger is sent away.

later we are all having a party. a room full of friends listening to music on vinyl. sitting on my black leather couches and a faux bearskin rug. bean bags. light wood paneling. old-timey lamps. the ancient rotary phone on the wrought iron stand rings. someone answers. it's my dad, he's telling me someone has passed. i can't make out what he's saying due to the noise. my uncle? no? he's coming to tell me he has a check.

eventually he arrives and everyone heads to the front office of the gas station. there is a counter there and people fill in on both sides of it. my dad says he had a friend from way back when i was born. also a car salesman, this man put some money into a savings account for me when i was older. how much is it? i think he says $400. that's very nice of him. i have to sign a piece of paper to claim it. that's when i realize it is not $400 but $400,000. everyone cheers loudly. a few friends put their hands down the back of my pants as some kind of prank even though i am sitting on the counter. haha very funny. everyone laughs. i make some sort of statement about how crazy it is to be receiving the money, that i can't believe it's not a dream. most of my dreams when this happens i wake up and am disappointed it wasn't real. oh it's real alright, everyone tells me. then i wake up.

the end?

Thursday, February 27, 2014

snow rage, unsafe diner, goofy music industry rage

thursday dream:
i'm driving a big red truck downtown in the snow. there is a road rage guy next to me and he keeps getting into my lane. so after the light turns i gun it, trying to get some space. he guns it also, and the road narrows, i swerve left, hitting a snow pile and end up the wrong way in a one way. except there is so much snow i can't get out. i have to ramp up, dukes of hazzard style, at the last second to avoid an oncoming truck. whew.

then i'm at some apartment. there is a friend working very late at a diner by herself and i am worried about her safety. she is telling me on the phone that she is fine, everything is fine. i want to come down there to make sure. maybe bring her a weapon. something bad seems like it's going to happen. not because i believe it, but because i'm not sure if she believes it. i don't remember how it ends.

later i'm at a party in a different high rise apartment. it's super swanky. with modern charcoal couches and yellow diamond pillows. there is an amazing fireplace in the center of the room. everyone here works for some music industry company, although i don't know which one, and i am only someone's guest, so i don't know who anyone is. everyone is sitting and drinking cocktails. there is discussion on the music business, humming along at a dull murmur. at some point someone stands up and raises their voice. it's a tall, goofy looking guy with salt and pepper curly short hair. glasses. brown sweater and pleated jeans. he's telling this young kid his band sucks. i only remember bits and pieces of the dialogue but it went something like this:

goofy: "absolute trash. not going anywhere. you can't even hear him in the mix and when you do he sounds like shit."
kid: "well he's a great frontman and we like his voice."
goofy: "no. no you don't! you're making a huge mistake and you're idiots!"
random person: "maybe over time his voice will improve?"
goofy: "no! stop coddling this kid! don't you see how wrong they are? it's insane! why would you waste any time at all with this guy when i'm telling you it's not going anywhere?!"
me: (under my breath) "bullshit."

finally there is silence. goofy sweater guy is still standing there. slightly shaking in his indignation. kid looks sad, even though his floppy hairstyle obscures his sad kid face. no one knows what else to say. i start thinking about what kind of moron this man is. who cares what this kid wants to do? if he asked for your opinion, can't you give it without going all ragey? eventually i stand up. everyone looks at me as i walk up to goofy sweater guy and get right in his face.

"i'm gonna make a drink, can i get anything for you?"
"no," he says, looking like he wants to goofily swing on me.

i head into the kitchen and the friend who invited me follows.

"dude! don't you know who that is?"
"that's the dude i told you about! he was in foreigner!"
"so fuck him! you don't talk to anyone like that, i don't care who you are. i don't care if you played keyboards for foreigner on one tour, or if you clean toilets, or shovel elephant shit. it ain't right."

i go on about how the kid's future is his own malleable realm of probabilities, that it's unacceptable to be demanding or angry about anything that isn't yours to decide. blah blah blah. i can't remember anything else.

the end?

Wednesday, February 26, 2014

european castles, stuck in the staircase


we are traveling in europe. seems like germany. the white van is pulled up in front of a castle, at the top of a large cliff. the castle workers come to unload the band gear. i have to poo really bad, so i ask the bearded guy where to go and run down a spiral staircase. after a few minutes, i come to a level section. i find a strange raised hole in the floor near the center. this must be it. so i drop trou and try to rush the process, since anyone could come waltzing around the corner at any minute.

after i'm finished, i head back to the loading area but the van is empty and i can't find my wife. i look everywhere to no avail. so i head down into the valley below. down in the village they are apparently having some sort of festival, except it hasn't opened yet. everything looks medieval, with lots of food and game tents, all closed up. i'm wandering around and it goes on and on. looks like we'll have to come back later to see all this.

i finally find her and now we're taking a tour of the castle. there is a small, very old house inside it on the back side. it's near the top of the castle wall, kind of hanging there. other people taking the tour as well, apparently. we get to a small hall closet and head up a very narrow staircase. we finally get to the top and there is a deck that overlooks the castle courtyard. it's very high up. as more people keep flowing out from the stairs to the deck, we decide to leave before it's too crowded. except the stairs are full of people. i try to wait for them to make a space but i get impatient. i start stuffing myself past them. nobody else can move, but i'm squeezing myself through like a bowel movement. i somehow realize there is a pole in the center (like a firehouse) and it gets easier and i slide to the bottom. i curse everyone for hogging the stairs and creating a fire hazard.

at the bottom of the stairs are 'married with children' stars david faustino and christina applegate.

there seems to be much more but that is all i can recall. the end?

Tuesday, February 25, 2014

spanish breakfast, country superstars, guitar solo anxiety

two brief dreams:

in the first, i am in an open courtyard, between tall grey apartment buildings. young trees all around. tall tables and chairs. groups of people eating and talking. there are a few friends with me, but they seem a little more than normal. we are looking at menus and talking about the options. except it's not food we are discussing. it seems we are longtime soul-friends who are in a temporary staging area, between lives. the menus represent options for playing out our next reincarnations together. over and over in different lifetimes and family configurations. we choose "spanish breakfast" but i don't know which time period. i wake up and quickly lose other details of the dream.

the second, i am in a music studio with about 80 country superstars. we are doing a honky tonk version of 'we are the world'. i'm psyched to be there and hang out with charlie daniels, merle haggard, hank williams, dolly parton... but the director tells me it's time to cut my solo. panic fills my every cell because i have no idea what solo he's talking about. he tells me it's for the DTP song 'yes master' and i tell him i'm still not ready. the country stars all appear disappointed in me. i think i might throw up. luckily it's time to wake up and feed these animals.

the end?

Monday, February 24, 2014

walking in the field, footprints & zombies

this morning i had an all zombie dream. (thanks walking dead!)

i was at my childhood home, in the field behind the house. walking with someone. there was snow on the ground. we found a giant footprint with three toes (legend of boggy creek). as we marveled at it, we heard zombies and made a run for a shed. not 'the shed' from my childhood, but a different small structure in the yard, with tan siding and a full roof. probably 6x6" square. we jump in and hide, but there are characters from the show in there, hershel and his youngest daughter. there is a scary scene where we have to stay quiet and more zombie madness but i can't remember it. the end?

Friday, February 21, 2014

rubber washers, arm & heads truck, orange turtleneck, LA zipline

squeaking out some more dream memories by emailing details when i wake up.
the farthest back i can remember is being in an electronics or auto parts store. i'm in the very back, looking through an aisle of small rubber washers. i only need a few of them. suddenly the fire alarm sounds off. there is smoke filling the air. i grab as many small rubber washers as i can and jam them in my jacket pocket and head towards the door. having trouble breathing as i get to the end of the aisle, all i can see is smoke. i take a big breathe of smoke and fall to my knees. i think i'm dying. yep. it's a transition. at first it is terrifying but peace washes over me and i move on.

next i'm in an upstairs room of what seems like my high school. i'm looking out the window talking to someone out of view. i see a work truck, with ladders and buckets. and an arm. i squint and realize there is a human arm hanging off the back. "there's an arm hanging off that truck!" i yell. then i see the heads. about 5 of them. sticking up on posts in the back of the bed. not sure how i missed them before. i'm starting to flip out but the voice out of view reassures me.

then i'm down on the ground below. it's a halloween celebration. skulls and jack-o-lanterns and body parts on the school grounds. the truck is driving around a halloween display. ok then.

the scene ends up shifting and i am inside a large convention in the gymnasium. there are long rows of tables and people sitting and eating. some guy in a thick, bright orange, turtleneck sweater is talking to the crowd. he looks like rob lowe with the big 80s feathered hair. something smarmy and degrading in his tone. he's talking about some life coaching something something. i am blocking it out. as soon as he is done he comes to where i'm sitting and leans over to say something in my ear. the first part i can't make out but the last part is "... and i am EVERYWHERE." and he's really spooky about it. i get up and follow him out of the gym. then i'm in a dressing room trying on ski pants in a mirror. but i'm wearing a bright orange turtleneck! no!

next i am a noob truck driver waiting in the DMV for some kind of answer. the kid behind the counter thinks he knows more than me and won't give me the info. his hair is really greasy for a government job. his jacket is stained with big grease spots too. he makes some snide remark like "you'd never know it" and walks off.

at this point i wake up and go to the bathroom. after sending an email with dream details to myself, i lie back down.

eventually i am part of a film crew working on a busy los angeles street corner. we are on the second floor landing of a yogurt and bicycle shop. we have a zip line going from the top of the landing down to the side of a clothing store across the intersection. the film is going to be a short about daredevils zipping across traffic. we are all done setting up for the day and i retire to my private bedroom, there inside the landing.

once i'm rested, i go down an escalator and i'm in a casino i've never seen before. i know i went down far enough to be underground but i can see daylight outside the windows. and i'm definitely not in los angeles anymore. i'm looking for anyone i recognize to no avail. i find a small door and go down a narrow staircase. the cocaine wolves are loading their gear to play a show there. it's a very small dim room with yellow walls. i don't see where there is even room to set up. but they are getting paid, right? no idea. i'd like to stay to see the show but i have to wake up now.

the end?

Thursday, February 20, 2014

russian taste tester, vinnie vincent, pregnant teens, doggie doo

after yesterday's dream recall, i make a mental note to try and remember again this morning. thanks to waking up several times and emailing myself details, i have bits and pieces.

russian taste tester

the first one involves me on a giant russian (soviet?) cruise ship. there is a massive ballroom with marble floors that are immaculately shiny. on all four sides of the ballroom are marble steps leading up to another tier. on both the left and right are soldiers lined up in formation, going back as far as the eye can see. in front of me are a row of chefs with rolling food carts. probably 20 or 30 of them. i am walking up to them and there is a great anticipation. i have to try the food. for the soldiers, the leaders, or a king? i have no idea. but i'm pretty sure i could die if someone poisoned the food. except i am more or less convinced no one would do it front of soldiers. so i go along taking bites and chewing with furrowed brow, until i smile at the soldiers and the chefs and everyone claps that i am not dead. i'm moving down to the next chef. same food: salmon with green beans. yuck. there must be a king who lovers salmon. then i hear a noise in the actual kitchen and i wake up.

vinnie vincent, the south pacific, canals & pregnant teens

bits and pieces of this sort of fall into a story. i'm sitting in an apartment trying to tell a local metal dude from a popular doom metal band a story about recording with vinnie vincent. vinnie is notoriously difficult to work with and as i get started on the story someone else in the room says something and they start a different conversation altogether. i, on the other hand, am transported back in time to some weird south pacific country that has canals instead of streets. i am there working with vinnie vincent and he has pissed me off somehow so i left the 'mobile tour bus recording studio'. i know there was a huge chunk of dream about dealing with him but i can't recall any of it now. anyhow, i'm out climbing around in the alley like a ninja. i have no shoes on but i am scaling large walls using my fingers and toes. this must be to get out the frustration of working with a giant douchebag.

finally i am on the main canal, perusing the small shops (there are nice sidewalks). a taxi boat pulls up and i see a group of teenagers gather to get on. there are two blonde girls at the front. the wind blows one of the blonde's hair back and she has a big, weirdly shaped bald spot / scar on the back of her head. she grabs the hair and covers the spot, seemingly embarrassed. i can see she is very, very pregnant but she looks all of 15 (we'll call her Preg). somehow i make a joke about her bald spot scar that gets many laughs, and we all start talking. we hang out somewhere and decide that the pregnant girl's sister (we'll call her Nopreg, who is probably 14) and i should pretend to be dating. at this point i realize i must be about 22 years old or something, because they are actually talking to me (or they could be vinnie vincent fans, i don't know). we all end up at a small diner and everyone is telling stories and laughing. all my jokes go over like gangbusters. i finally realize on the way out that a group of old people, specifically an old woman with cartoon-like, curmudgeonly features, are giving me the stinkeye. they initially were mad about the laughter (it offends them)... but now the old woman is using her evil gaze to tell me i am too old for the 14 year old girl. i stare back at her and say something to the effect of "you know you like it, you dirty coot". her face goes sour. we leave.

we get back to their house and there is some confusion in the kitchen. it looks like a bunch of peanut butter has been spread on the floor in the corner, but in little piles. they are saying they don't know what it is but i know what it is, it's doggie doo. lots of laughter ensues... and then something something about doggie doo in the coffee maker, which i can't remember at all.

eventually i'm tired and lay down in the upstairs bedroom. it's all pink and white and frilly. i'm starting to doze off and Preg comes in. she is mad that her and i are not pretending to be dating. i'm not sure what the hell to say. she starts ripping off her prom gown (?) and eventually is screaming at me all naked, standing over me on the bed. telling me it's because she is pregnant. i tell her that, obviously, her hormones are off the charts. this only seems to make it worse. she starts making some groaning / whining / crying sound and squats over the bed, threatening to have the baby right there. Nopreg finally busts in the room and gets jealous and starts yelling.

i can't quite remember the next few parts, as i was tossing and turning. but eventually there was some sort of 'rock and roll band music fair', and i saw the band Protest the Hero (?) playing ping pong on a vertical table, with one guy suspended in the air. what.

the end?

Wednesday, February 19, 2014

stolen car, breaking in, heart condition, i don't steal books

So this morning's weird dream:

i left my hometown on foot and walked through the snow for an unknown length of time. eventually i came across a 70s style gas-guzzling green car with the door unlocked. i jumped in and took off in it. i kept driving until i got to a dark, poor neighborhood. i think i'm in Alexandria (Indiana). the car starts spinning due to the ice, and i am heading for some sort of concrete hole in the ground. it is probably 8 feet by 30 feet long and had thin, black metal bars cross-hatched on the top in 1 foot squares. i swerve hard to miss it but i hit the concrete so hard a wheel popped off and the car came to a stop. i took a look but there was no way to replace it. the neighborhood is quiet, it feels like dawn will be breaking soon. the cheap, old homes were all dark colors and seemed foreboding. i needed to rest, so i found an apartment that didn't seem to have any tenants. looking through the window i could see dust and pale orange walls. i broke in somehow and started milling around. 

i must have found something to sleep on, because now it is morning. my wife is there, she's in the bathroom getting ready. there's a man there, i can't remember who he was. he looks like dennis hopper or ricardo montalban or robert di niro. he's sitting at the kitchen table and dropping words of wisdom and i'm wondering how they got in and what else happened last night. eventually the landlord shows up and he has the tenants with him. people are asking about the car too. i get ready to go to face him and di niro says "heart condition" as i walk past him. so that's my excuse.

"i have a heart condition sir," i say as i flip through the contacts on my smart phone, showing him that i am not a bum, that i have friends. "i had to break in because it was cold and my heart condition... uh" i trail off. the man seems to accept this line of reasoning and we walk back inside. in a back room that i was unaware of, a tenant is looking closely over the massive blue bookcases. the room looks like a garage and has pipes in the ceiling. he's asking me about the books. "which ones did i steal?" none of them. he can't believe i didn't take them. he is scoffing at me.

then i hear the bird making her 'wake up' noises and i'm awake in bed. the end?

Friday, January 17, 2014

Lil Bub, starving birds and a boulder that must be moved

I had a dream that we had Lil Bub. We must have adopted her after her fame had receded. It occurred to me that we could let people hang out with her for money. Why didn't her original owner think of this? (oh, he did) Then I realized the ocean-front cabin we had been staying in had many birds in cages, that I had simply forgotten to feed and water. I hurried in the dream, dreading losing one of them, so upset that I could let this happen. They all survived but they were starving.

There was an old Chevy van on the beach. We needed to move this boulder but no one could figure out how to get it in the van.

"Won't the tires sink into the sand?" "You'll have to drive on the more solid parts. "

Thursday, January 2, 2014

japanese passwords flu nightmare

Jan 02, 2014 9:45am came down with a power-illness-flu yesterday. then i had a horrible dream that i had to log in to 4 separate computers using 4 different logins (japanese names and all japanese characters) and if i didn't, then i couldn't dream any further, or get any rest. i must have woken up about 50 times and each time i felt like the world was ending, people were standing around waiting on me... and i was trying to remember passwords i never had in a language i don't know. yuck