so i had this awful dream the other day. it was me but not me. i was working in a dirty warehouse factory type of place, with toxic metal chemicals. i was new to the job and all the other workers hated me. we had to wear gray jumpsuits. everyone was covered in soot and dirt from the metal. my hands were still dirty no matter how many times i washed them, the metal had gotten into the cracks of my skin.
after a few weeks of working there, getting picked on and pushed around, i got very tired of it. there were several incidents that i can't clearly remember but all of them involved me hating being there and wanting a way out, and someone causing me pain. finally something happened and it put me over the edge. the guy who was always taunting me and causing me problems shoved me into some of the metal but i caught myself before falling into it and shoved him to the floor. there was a split second where i had a decision to make: beat the living shit out of this person and stand up for myself, or let it go. time sort of stopped. then i decided to get my revenge. i told myself that it wasn't real, after all. that nothing was real. then i viciously beat this persons face into a pulp and enjoyed it. releasing a mass amount of emotional distress in the process. once i stopped, everyone stood and looked at me, frightened. then the scene started to fade, and a voice started talking. it was an older version of me. "that was 60 years ago. that's why i'm here." and the view cut back to this other me as a very old man, who was in prison for this beating. who had served 60 years and only had a year or two left to serve. now i was feeling a tangled mass of anxiety, trying to figure out how i would restart my life after being behind bars for so long. i kept telling myself that it wasn't real but i slowly couldn't hear that voice anymore because the reality seemed to be setting in. finally i woke up and was pretty disturbed by the whole thing.