Saturday, February 16, 2013

haunted song repetition 2.16.13

a disturbing dream: Unk knew somebody who held this band competition in an actual haunted house. it was like a battle of the bands in a house of horrors. you had to perform some ridiculously creepy old album note for note, or start over from the beginning. each song had to be recorded in a different room of the house. my team was Gregg Stewart, Colby Holmes, Chuck Brown and Brady Wren. we rolled up and there were two dobermans with skinless heads (to make them meaner?) to greet us at the door. after loading in without being eaten, our host (played by Frank Zappa) led us on a short tour of the house. it was dirty, covered in dust. there were rotting corpses, malevolent spirits, skeletons, critters, you name it. death was all around. there was a record player in the foyer, and that's where we had to learn the songs.

when i told colby any mistake would cause us to have to start over, he looked at me all disappointed, "Really?" he said slowly. we started and restarted and restarted. over and over in an endless loop, which was more of a nightmare than the actual house. the songs were some sort of dr demento ghoulish garage rock. we finished a few songs and couldn't find brady. he had gone outside for a cigarette and took some pringles can out of the house to listen to the recording (?) which required us to restart. everyone was pissed.

eventually we were in the 'hoarders' room. there was junk stacked up along all the walls and we squeezed our shit in there. there was the smell of rotten food and a dirty faced, dirty clothed, totally insane chunky lady with streams of mucus covering her mouth. she was watching a tv that was mostly static, sitting on a couch covered in stains. i thought i saw something moving and looked closer, the couch was covered in tiny moving cockroaches. fat sammy showed up. she was denying the cockroaches (her eyes covered with a white film) so he took out a butane lighter and started torching them. high pitched bug screams filled the room. our host said we were wasting time.

the next room was full of body parts. there were dressers and closets full of body parts. the smell was awful, but we were just trying to get through. a big staircase led up to more horrors. the spirits were menacing, the random arms were grabbing us. totally getting distracted. we took a break. i went over to the record player and listened again. i realized we had screwed up the end of song 1 into song 2 but we thought it was correct. and i saw the evil grin on our host's face and knew he was going to wait until we were finally done to make us go back to the beginning. i lost it. i screamed at the top of my lungs and the house went dark. FUCK YOU! I QUIT! FUCK THIS HOUSE AND THESE EVIL SPIRITS! YOU HAVE NO POWER OVER ME! everyone was surprised. and they wanted to stay. haha. the lights came up and i went to get all my video cameras. we stood laughing by the door. gregg picked up a camera with a little tripod and it slipped on the floor. everyone stopped and looked. he picked it up and said "i could take some naked lady pics with this!" everyone laughed. the end.

Friday, February 15, 2013

breaking bad extreme 2.15.13

another crazy dream: i was starring in some alternate 'final' episode of breaking bad. there was a rogue hacker learning how to download illegal mp3s (winona ryder), i showed her how to use an edison light bulb and a spinning arm to power the 'downloader' in her silver, wifi-enabled van. as i got into the my stakeout position in the school, vans pulled up, cops & lights. busted. i turned to escape but they were already there. inside job.

at this point we're under some bleachers and it's dark. i'm being held with zip ties and they're going to kill me. mr bossman (with the skull face) comes up and starts talking about how i'm a liability. i get kicked in the head chuck norris style and i hit the ground. as i'm lying there, everyone starts choking on the poison. when the cops arrive they don't believe me until my cellphone rings from inside the giant dead guy's butt. then i realize the younger cop has a weird yellow sheen to his eyes and he tells me under his breath to keep my mouth shut. it's only then i see the small wires sticking out behind his ears. borg.

finally a voice-over comes in, it's the end of the episode. he's explaining the next episode. i am sitting on the couch with my folks and i'm saying "no... wait... just play the next dvd", but there is no next dvd(!). the voice goes on. there's a secret meeting in some woods to get to the bottom of the crime syndicate. an unconventional agent (played by christopher walken) says "we don't know what we're dealing with here". i ask him what he means and his eyes go wide. he leaves. i'm driving away down an empty country road wondering what he's talking about when a 30 foot tall, slightly pixelated longhaired dude in biblical robes blocks the road. he puts up his hand and tells me i'm going too far, turn back. i don't. i can't. i finally fast forward to the end and i convinced these aliens take me to an inter-dimensional portal to face the real crime bosses: several extra-dimensional entities which included writer vince gilligan. what? i confronted them but there wasn't anything i could do, as they were nebulous energy forms. i can't remember what they said, or anything after that.

Thursday, February 14, 2013

opening for KISS 2.14.13

had a dream corey and i joined Torche (the band) and were opening for KISS. the production was so big it had acrobats and acting sequences and crap. we came out onstage and were introduced, then shuffled to another part of the stadium to wait.

Wednesday, February 13, 2013

the DEA & house majority leader 2.13.13

another weird dream: house majority leader eric cantor led a DEA raid against a younger, college-aged me and my 'dream' friends because he suspected we were smoking the tweeds. i knew in advance, due to my amazing prescience, so he didn't have anything on us, except he took all my tshirts, records, cds, cassettes childhood toys to look for 'evidence'. as he took off running with a box of my stuff, i ran after him and asked him how long it would be before i could get my it back (since i was innocent) and he said "4 days".