a random collection of whatever from beyond the cosmic horizon; the psychic adventures of a rambling, gambling, heavy metal beatnik.
Saturday, February 16, 2013
haunted song repetition 2.16.13
a disturbing dream: Unk knew somebody who held this band competition in an actual haunted
house. it was like a battle of the bands in a house of horrors. you had
to perform some ridiculously creepy old album note for note, or start
over from the beginning. each song had to be recorded in a different
room of the house. my team was Gregg Stewart, Colby Holmes, Chuck Brown and Brady Wren. we rolled up and there were two dobermans with skinless
heads (to make them meaner?) to greet us at the door. after loading in
without being eaten, our host (played by Frank Zappa) led us on a short
tour of the house. it was dirty, covered in dust. there were rotting
corpses, malevolent spirits, skeletons, critters, you name it. death was
all around. there was a record player in the foyer, and that's where we
had to learn the songs.
when i told colby any mistake would
cause us to have to start over, he looked at me all disappointed,
"Really?" he said slowly. we started and restarted and restarted. over
and over in an endless loop, which was more of a nightmare than the
actual house. the songs were some sort of dr demento ghoulish garage
rock. we finished a few songs and couldn't find brady. he had gone
outside for a cigarette and took some pringles can out of the house to
listen to the recording (?) which required us to restart. everyone was
eventually we were in the 'hoarders' room. there was
junk stacked up along all the walls and we squeezed our shit in there.
there was the smell of rotten food and a dirty faced, dirty clothed,
totally insane chunky lady with streams of mucus covering her mouth. she
was watching a tv that was mostly static, sitting on a couch covered in
stains. i thought i saw something moving and looked closer, the couch
was covered in tiny moving cockroaches. fat sammy showed up. she was
denying the cockroaches (her eyes covered with a white film) so he took
out a butane lighter and started torching them. high pitched bug screams
filled the room. our host said we were wasting time.
room was full of body parts. there were dressers and closets full of
body parts. the smell was awful, but we were just trying to get through.
a big staircase led up to more horrors. the spirits were menacing, the
random arms were grabbing us. totally getting distracted. we took a
break. i went over to the record player and listened again. i realized
we had screwed up the end of song 1 into song 2 but we thought it was
correct. and i saw the evil grin on our host's face and knew he was
going to wait until we were finally done to make us go back to the
beginning. i lost it. i screamed at the top of my lungs and the house
went dark. FUCK YOU! I QUIT! FUCK THIS HOUSE AND THESE EVIL SPIRITS! YOU
HAVE NO POWER OVER ME! everyone was surprised. and they wanted to stay.
haha. the lights came up and i went to get all my video cameras. we
stood laughing by the door. gregg picked up a camera with a little
tripod and it slipped on the floor. everyone stopped and looked. he
picked it up and said "i could take some naked lady pics with this!"
everyone laughed. the end.