Thursday, February 16, 2017

dolphins in the pools


i another reality, i'm younger and checking out apartments to rent. after searching many different kinds with various types of layouts, rooms, bathrooms etc, i settle into three of them. i swim in the pool of the first one and am surprised to find out there is a dolphin living in the pool. at the second apartment, i am doubly surprised they also have a dolphin in their pool. "hey, you have a dolphin too!" i say to no one in particular.

eventually i realize i don't have any money. i spend time being interviewed about brady wren and watching cable access channels

the end?

Thursday, February 2, 2017

mrs tuffins


i'm working at a big talent agency with my wife. her lady boss is a real crank. on my first day, i get called into the boss's office because she can't define some word in a text. i explain what it means, then she says something into her phone and enables the speakerphone and finishes with "how does that sound mrs. tuffins?" so i blurt out "muffins" really loudly and the room goes silent. everyone is super mad and i'm going to get fired.

the end?

Tuesday, January 31, 2017

metallic cleansing pill - giant space mountain music fest


i can't remember much of the first dream but jason momoa was trying to get me to eat some crazy metallic pill with a long strand of wire hanging off one end. he said it was a 'cleansing' pill and once in your stomach the pill part melts away and the inside expands into a blue bathroom towel that cleans your intestines as you pass it. but you need the wire to get it out! i said no thanks.

the second dream i was alone at a giant music fest. it was in a huge space mountain type of building, but open on one side. there were many levels, like the death star, and each level had some weird configuration of a stage with some underground stoner or doom band playing on it. everyone at the fest was wasted. some people were passed out in the hallways.

at one point i found a computer in a dark wood paneled hallway and tried to check the internet. a meth head guy with a giant shank, cranked out to the max, threatened me for the computer so i left. then i realized i didn't have my wallet or money or anything. i couldn't find my keys. at that point i wasn't sure that i had even driven there. as i'm trying to figure out where to start looking, it dawns on me that i wasn't even worried about it before and i knew everything was fine.

by then i had walked to the far end of the building, so i got on a roller coaster, expecting to zip back to the the other side. instead, the roller coaster went straight up, and up, and up, with no signs of coming back down. we were hitting the clouds when i jumped out and slid down the tracks  back to the bottom.

i made my way to a big open lawn in the middle, there was no roof there. it was two levels of walkways that curved in a large arc, with green grass sloping down 40 feet in the middle. on the upper level, Lo-Pan was doing a soundcheck. i saw people starting to gather below. i went across the grass and when i came towards the center there was another massive platform there. i snuck down underneath it and realized there were hundreds of dancers waiting to pop up on the grass and dance in a giant choreographed display. they were wearing red and yellow telletubby outfits, but they all had huge lightbulbs on top of their heads.

one of them asked me what i was doing there and said they were about to perform. i said i lost my wallet and woke up.

Tuesday, January 10, 2017

robot consciousness - mothership garage hostel w cockatiel


i am a robot far in the future. i can change my identity and gender. for a while, i am a long haired japanese woman. all of the other robots are obsessed with trying to appear human, so much so that they forget they are machines. i'm in a relationship with another robot, who tries to convince me i'm a robot but they are human. eventually i realize there are no humans left, only a world full of humanity-obsessed robots.

later i am traveling. i'm outside in a fenced-in area and it's getting late. i need a place to sleep. a girl takes me to an adjacent garage hostel. there are mattresses and blankets on the floor, all next to each other. it's not ideal, but it's cheap. other people show up and take up the spots around me. i realize i am traveling with Klaus the cockatiel. no cage, no perch, no carrier. Klaus has major problems with his legs so he's always falling. i am holding him in my hand, trying to guess where i will put him while i sleep. someone shows up with a dog, and Klaus falls. i help him up on a nightstand. soon i am talking to him and he is talking to me. he said he understands. loy smoak appears, he needs to crash.

during the night the garage floods. i find out it belongs to the guys in Mothership. no one knows how the flood happened. by the morning, the FBI shows up and interrogates everyone. eventually i find a hose in the yard, someone poked holes in it, causing the flood.

Rob Hough is there, he wants to get coffee and smoke a cigar. says there's a little market in town. i ride with him to the market. on the drive, he plays me a recording of our set from last night. apparently i was so drunk i blacked out. i can't remember being drunk or playing or anything. the recording sounds really good, we're making up a brand new song and it sounds better than Led Zeppelin. Rob can't believe i can't remember. we decide that i'm such a high-functioning alcoholic that i must excel at music while drunk.

we finally get to the market. it's a small, one story building covered in rough wood, dark brown panels. inside, i need to find food for Klaus, as i don't have any. (he's back in the garage hostel). the market is full of shelves stacked to the ceiling with very narrow aisles. while looking and looking with little luck, i run into some people i barely remember from Ball State. this one girl remembers me and starts asking me if i remember this or that. i can't say that i do. i finally get a little bag of seeds for Klaus but i don't have my wallet. this girl decides to pay for it. thanks.

we drive back to the Mothership garage. i'm trying to find my own recorder to hear how bad our set was. i'm asking everyone there how bad we were but they won't say it directly. some roll their eyes. i keep thinking we're going to play our set over, or at least hoping we are.

more stuff happens, but i can't remember any of that either.

the end?

Monday, December 19, 2016

shitty hotel room inside a casino in a mall


we were in Vegas, inside some casino that was itself inside a shopping mall. The hotel was inside a shitty apartment building inside the casino, inside the mall. The rooms were furnished with other people's stuff and they were small and dirty.

Some woman showed up and said that our room was actually her room, and there was an argument. The room had several doors, each had a different room number on the outside. The tv was an old console tv with a small back and white tv crookedly placed inside it. On top of the small tv was an envelope with my name on it with a bible inside. It appeared to be some sort of book sharing setup.

When we complained, the Mexican drug looking hotel owner walked around the floor with me. There were many weird structural anomalies, nothing made sense. This stairwell went nowhere, this hallway returned you to another hallway, etc.

I came back to the room and had to poop. The bathroom looked just like my parents old bathroom but was old and dirty. There was rusty poop-looking water stains on everything, the walls, towels the floor. I accused my wife of making the mess, she got mad and said it wasn't her. Sitting on the couch, she was looking at a stack of polaroids and my mom came in and took them. The room to our hotel opened into a shitty apartment kitchen, with a couple chubby smokers coughing in it. We had to pass through to get there, even though we had other doors.

the end?

Wednesday, November 30, 2016

finalist slot pull


This morning I had a dream I was one of 8 finalists to spin a slot machine for a $42 million payout, even tho I didn't have the $250,000 entry fee

Friday, November 18, 2016

gangsters, cops, fires & eldemur krimm


gangster and cop selling drugs together
pair of sunglasses w the word hippies written on them
fast food joint side business (illegal stolen pallet reselling) goes up in flames when cop gets caught?
Gangster dies in fire.
Run into Eldemur Krimm years later, Jason quit and destitute w family, then I take Fred to scene of the fire, he inadvertently catches fast food joint on fire by flipping something into still lit burners on stove

the end?

Tuesday, November 1, 2016

broken window - beaned a poet in the chin - get out


the band is sitting in my car. guy from another local band wants to yell at me, but i won't roll the window down. he punches the back window, and threatens to break it. i tell him to try. after bunches of punches, the window shatters. i call 911, saying i want to report the damage to an officer. the operator tries to chastise me for calling, i tell her i need a record of the incident for my insurance.

eventually a cop shows up. and hundreds of other people. everyone is sitting in my apartment, talking. i see other local band guys and some national celebrities. someone is loudly reciting a poem out of view. i come around a large wall support beam and ask them to stop, my nerves are toast. except this chick can't hear me because she's yelling the poem now. i pull an orange usb flash drive coated in a rubbery casing out of my pocket, throw it hard to the floor. it takes a hard bounce and flies up hard into her chin. she stops, stunned as everyone turns to look at me. "everyone needs to get out of here, none of you were invited." nobody moves, the chatter begins again. i reach my breaking point, "GET OUT! GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY HOUSE! GO ON! GET OUUUUUT" at this point everyone looks irritated as they finally get up and start moving. i may have thrown another item and hit someone else in the head, i can't remember.

as everyone is finally going, i see corey feldman. he's somehow my right-hand man. i think that annoying bill bellamy guy is there too. eventually i wake up, irritated.

Wednesday, October 19, 2016

robert de niro diamond smuggling


somehow robert de niro was involved in a diamond smuggling operation and was in jail awaiting trial. my wife decided to break him out and get the diamonds by bribing some jail officials with hundreds of thousands of dollars. i was asking if it was a good idea and she said not to worry, it would be fine. on the day everything was going down, i was there at the jail to sing some songs and saw her dressed in some kind of "jail employee" outfit. she winked at me as they were opening a main bank vault type of door. i left the jail worried. there was a police cruiser around the corner with someone pulled over. then i saw two cop cars fly past me with the lights and sirens on, but they turned away from the jail. took a deep breath and kept driving. once i got to our neighborhood, i saw another police car in my rearview mirror with its lights on and sirens blaring, got totally paranoid and filled with fright as i pulled over, until it zoomed past me heading somewhere else. then i woke up.

Tuesday, October 18, 2016



we went to some kind of angry protest. some angry woman pulled a gun on everyone. i tried to rationalize with her group, but they kidnapped us instead. so for weeks we were trapped in this house on the back of a flatbed, full of angry hillbillies. time and time again i tried to escape, to no avail. eventually tho, something had them distracted in the front of the house, and i found a small door in the back. when i opened it, we were high on a mountain road somewhere. we slipped out carefully to the roadway and were gone.

Saturday, October 15, 2016

karaoke cake - carrying the fennel - old phone


i'm in some large banquet hall type of convention place with a fancy restaurant inside. dressed out of place, i don't know why i am there. had some conversations and eventually found a room full of trophies. i heard someone say i won 'best karaoke' so i'm looking at the trophies and none say anything about it. then on the front of the big table of trophies is a small cake with my name on it in red icing.

eventually i take a big clump of fennel from the salad bar (or kitchen?) and walk around with it, eating the leaves as i go. it seems funny at first, until the fennel grows larger and larger, and eventually becomes the size of a basketball. it's also getting heavier and the staff are looking for me, so i need to find a place to dump it. i'm looking for a bathroom. i see a hallway with toilets along both walls, but i wake up.

bonus dream: (from a few days ago)

the band is on tour and i leave my old phone sitting somewhere. we're heading off to the next city when i realize it. luckily some kid finds it, but his dad is a devout christian. so the dad is thinking about mailing the phone to me, but he sees evil images and heavy metal on the phone, so he is torn. at some point i wake up and realize it's a dream (and not even my current phone). i fall back asleep and go right back into the stress of having lost my phone. trying to convince the guy to leave it in a certain place so a friend can drive there and pick it up. finally i wake up.

Monday, September 12, 2016

Hit and Run, Changing Reality, Eating Crickets


i can't remember the long beginning part, but at some point i was driving in my car. it looked like a different city but i knew my way around. traffic was kind of thick and i was making a left. the light turned yellow so i pulled into the intersection. there were too many vehicles backed up so the back of the car was in the path of oncoming cars. of course some woman sped past and clipped my car on the front and back. some major damage. i go into panic mode as i just got my car back after several months in the shop in real life. the driver didn't stop, but no one cared. i went to some police substation or traffic office to ask about my rights and they ignored me. eventually i am telling my wife and she is super pissed.

after freaking out for a long while, it dawns on me that i can just roll back reality to the moment before and change it so it never happened. of course my wife is skeptical. after wracking my brain trying to figure out how to do that, and when i am about to give up, i wake up. i realize i was asleep and it never happened. i doze back off to the dream and my dream-self is aware that the accident never happened. now i am seeing visions of dreams and lives that overlap and realities that are changed via dreams. don't like what happens? dream a different life and wake up in it. so easy! this all seems like amazing factual information and i feel like a dream genius.

eventually the dream changes several times (can't remember) and at the end i'm hanging out in some girls apartment with a bunch of friends. they are all eating deep fried crickets off the floor like popcorn. as everyone is laughing and crunching, i see a live one and point him out. "he's alive! get him!" and everyone laughs and laughs. and then i wake up.

Friday, August 12, 2016

CNL's Wooden Lectern & Basement Chihuahua

i had this messed up dream this morning where i was in my childhood home again, but CNL (crazy neighbor lady) lived in my old neighbors house. it's late at night and i decided to break into her house to 'borrow' a wooden lectern from the garage. i opened the side door and then the big garage door and carried it out. the next night i decided to put it back, but this time i sneak in through a window and climb into her basement, where she is punishing a small chihuahua in the dark. so i comfort this little dog and escape before the cops show up. eventually i find out she's trying to press charges but i woke up before she could do anything. whaaat