Friday, February 21, 2020

classic car, deformed lady, birds at the starbucks

dream from this morning:

i'm in a classic 1950's car and it's in pristine condition. everyone tells me it's a bad idea to use this for doing repo work but i don't listen. i'm cruising around the neighborhood. someone is standing on a freshly cut lawn. i turn towards the house on what i think is a driveway but it's actually a sidewalk. my classic car doesn't fit. my left fender is knocking bricks off a retaining wall as my right mangles some bushes. somehow i'm not concerned.

now i'm in the upper part of some building. there are a lot of people coming and going up and down the stairs. i see what looks like a person but severely deformed. it's a woman who has no real arms or legs. she's lumping down the stairs and it looks painful. people are stepping over her and ignoring her. i rush over and pick her up in my arms. we make small talk as i carry her to where she is going. she is thankful.

i am driving again. i pull my car into a starbucks parking lot. it's packed. i walk in and get in a long line. there is a small dark wooden cabinet next to the line of people. i hear birds screaming and squawking. i look down and there are two quaker parrots and what looks like a cross between a cockatoo and a raven, but it's all white with a black beak. i lean down and look into the cages. i see the cage has multiple sections. on the far left there is a cockatiel. i stand back up and am wondering why they have birds tucked away in the starbucks. suddenly i have a stinging pain in my hand. one of the quaker parrots is biting me. i lean down again and talk to them. the bird turns away from me and squeezes out an egg after a couple tries. it's covered in blood.

a guy points to the gas station sign across the street. he asks me if that is the normal price of gas. i look over. the sign says Conoco or something and $3400 for a gallon of gas. i tell him the price is high, but not that high. must have been some kids playing a prank.

eventually i am talking to a host at a tiki bar. i'm trying to reserve it for a private party. the guy is rolling his eyes at everything i say. i am not cool, i get it.

later chris coy shows up and i give him back two sets of keys.

that's all i could remember.

the end?





Wednesday, February 19, 2020

The Gates of Slumber - "Stitched Back from Deth" rehearsal video

The Gates of Slumber gearing up for EU dates in March. Here's a rehearsal version of "Stitched Back from Deth":





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subscribe to the new youtube channel:
https://youtu.be/lN4N_w3hGKE
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The Gates of Slumber "The Re-Awakening" Europe 2020:
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03/04/20 - Brussels BEL - Magasin 4
03/05/20 - Dortmund GER - Junkyard
03/06/20 - Berlin GER - Zukunft am Ostkreuz
03/07/20 - Hamburg GER - Markthalle (Hell Over Hammaburg)
03/08/20 - Copenhagen DNK - Stengade
03/09/20 - Gothenburg SWE - The Abyss
03/10/20 - Oslo NOR - Roverstaden
03/11/20 - Stockholm SWE - Hus 7
03/13/20 - Helsinki FIN - On the Rocks















Wednesday, February 12, 2020

The Gates of Slumber - "The Leech" rehearsal video


The Gates of Slumber gearing up for EU dates next month. Here's a rehearsal version of "The Leech":


.
subscribe to the new youtube channel:
https://youtu.be/lN4N_w3hGKE
.
.
The Gates of Slumber "The Re-Awakening" Europe 2020:
.
03/04/20 - Brussels BEL - Magasin 4
03/05/20 - Dortmund GER - Junkyard
03/06/20 - Berlin GER - Zukunft am Ostkreuz
03/07/20 - Hamburg GER - Markthalle (Hell Over Hammaburg)
03/08/20 - Copenhagen DNK - Stengade
03/09/20 - Gothenburg SWE - The Abyss
03/10/20 - Oslo NOR - Roverstaden
03/11/20 - Stockholm SWE - Hus 7
03/13/20 - Helsinki FIN - On the Rocks











Monday, February 10, 2020

Wednesday, February 5, 2020

The Gates of Slumber gearing up for European Reunion Tour

The Gates of Slumber gearing up for EU dates next month:


.
subscribe to the new youtube channel:
https://youtu.be/hJ67BpA7awA
.
.
The Gates of Slumber "The Re-Awakening" Europe 2020:
.
03/04/20 - Brussels BEL - Magasin 4
03/05/20 - Dortmund GER - Junkyard
03/06/20 - Berlin GER - Zukunft am Ostkreuz
03/07/20 - Hamburg GER - Markthalle (Hell Over Hammaburg)
03/08/20 - Copenhagen DNK - Stengade
03/09/20 - Gothenburg SWE - The Abyss
03/10/20 - Oslo NOR - Roverstaden
03/11/20 - Stockholm SWE - Hus 7
03/13/20 - Helsinki FIN - On the Rocks









Tuesday, February 4, 2020

Omen Stones live clip 2/2/20

my dudes in Omen Stones killing it Sunday night at State Street Pub. they are in Cincinnati tonight.



Omen Stones live:

01/31 Raleigh NC Slims w/ Crystal Spiders, Moryo
02/01 Asheville NC Odditorium
02/02 Indianapolis IN State Street Pub w/ Lavaborne, Drooler
02/03 Louisville KY Highlands Taproom w/ Problem with Dragons
02/04 Cincinnati OH Northside Yacht Club
02/05 Columbus OH Dirty Dungarees w/ Deprecator, False Teeth
02/06 Kent OH The Dome w/ Goosed, Ghost:Hello
02/07 Wilmington DE 1984 Arcade Bar
02/08 Baltimore MD Rituals Bar & Venue w/ Alms, Cavern, Almost Honest
02/09 Richmond VA Fuzzy Cactus w/ Hoboknife, Deathcrown

Omen Stones is:

Ed Fierro – bass
Tommy Hamilton – guitar/vocals
Erik Larson – drums

https://www.facebook.com/OmenStonesVA/
https://omenstones.bandcamp.com/

subscribe for more videos: https://www.youtube.com/satisfried










Saturday, February 1, 2020

Drooler Interview

Drooler will be at State Street Pub Sunday 2/2 along with Omen Stones (Richmond, VA) and Lavaborne.

I hadn't had a chance to catch Drooler yet, so naturally I had a few questions for the band and sent them over to Will and Jarrod.

SJ: Obvious first question: How would you describe the band?

WILL: Well when I joined the band, James had originally told me it's like Snapcase meets Black Flag and I'd say that fairly accurate. 90's metalcore with some hardcore punk influences.

SJ: When did you guys get together and how did all of that go down?  

JARROD: James and I started jamming wanting to be in a band, but his house got broken into and his guitar amp was stolen. I didn’t have an amp at the time so that stopped it for awhile. I finally bought an amp maybe 6-8 months later. James and I jammed on some songs for quite awhile before he invites Tim over for Vas’s jams. We went through about five vocalists before James invites Will into the fold. So really this thing has been around for nearly two years. Also we do not play any songs that we started out playing.

SJ: What kind of topics do you guys cover in your lyrics?

WILL: Our lyrics cover topics such as depression, suicide, domestic abuse, drug abuse, capitalism, government... The standard punk rock topics.

SJ: Your take on Indy's Punk scene these days?

WILL: I think there are some great active bands right now in the Indy punk scene. LIB, Big Hog, Kiddo, Mr Clit, Chelshots. Maybe a little too much drama between the people in the scene sometimes, but I think that's probably every city.

SJ: Social media, good, bad or great?

WILL: I'm pretty active on social media. I think it can be great and it can also be terrible, depending on how it's used. I've had my fair share of both the good and the bad. Aside from the social aspect of social media, I think it's a shame how government, law enforcement, and employers use it to collect data on citizens without them really being aware of it.

SJ: Who are your biggest musical influences?

JARROD: Musical influences is always a tough question. Tony Hawk pro skater sound track, 90s hardcore, and Wu Tang.

SJ: How did you get started singing in bands?

WILL: My first band ever was called Team Cynical. I think I was like 15. It was essentially a Christian punk band. Laughable I know, but I was raised in a very religious household. I always had a unique voice because of an incident that I had swallowing some bug poison when I was a child. My whole life everyone always told me I should do vocals in a metal band, so here we are now.

SJ: What was the last record you listened to?

WILL: Cancerslug "Alabama Bloodbath" is probably the last thing I listened to. I met those guys on the "Pussytalk" tour like 8 yrs ago or whatever at the 5th Quarter and loved them ever since.

SJ: Any story behind the band name?

JARROD: I saw someone post the word on Instagram and thought it sounded like a cool band name. Also we all voted and Drooler was the winner.

SJ: The show on 2/2 is the same night as the Superbowl. Any feelings on the NFL or pro sports?

WILL: Oh man don't get me started on sports. I really am not a sports fan at all. Maybe it's the fact that I've never been good at sports, but I think they're a waste of time. I think it's sad that some people will burn cop cars and riot in the streets over sports, but no one seems to care that much about detained immigrant children dying in custody, murders done by police, poisoned water in Flint, wildfires in California etc. Maybe if people cared enough to riot over those kinds of issues then our government would actually do something to fix major issues we're facing.

SJ: Craziest shit you've ever seen at a show?

WILL: I've been to so many insane shows, it's hard to pick just one instance. I saw Municipal Waste in Columbus OH once in like 2005 with Killed In Action at that bar Bernies. There was some scuffle outside between some college dudes and some punks, and the jock dudes were run off. Well during the MW set, Tony from MW screams "THE JOCKS ARE BAAAACK!!" Everyone ran outside and it ends up being like 100 kids chasing these 3 college dudes down the street. It was like a movie. Also, saw Killed In Action with Think I Care in someone's garage... Someone started up a lawnmower and was running through the pit with it when they cut apart all the mic and instrument cables. Other things I've seen at shows include people throwing tv's, setting mattresses on fire, fireworks, people getting beer bottles busted over their heads in fights, people pissing on the front door of a church, all kinds of shit. I feel like I've got some Vietnam war stories from the shows I've been to.

DROOLER is:
Will-vocals
Tim-bass
James-drums
Jarred-guitar


https://www.facebook.com/Drooler-103162054437699/ 
https://droolerrulesx69.bandcamp.com/releases








 

Friday, January 31, 2020

Chris Latta (Lavaborne) Interview

Lavaborne will be at State Street Pub Sunday 2/2 along with Omen Stones (Richmond, VA) and Drooler.

I've known Chris Latta for a long time as the soft spoken, literate guy from multiple bands who writes a lot of reviews. Now that he's been singing for Lavaborne for a while, I decided to ask him a few questions.


SJ: Describe Lavaborne for the uninitiated.

Lavaborne is a five-piece metal band from Indianapolis, Indiana. We like to describe our style as ‘power-doom,’ basically a fusion of power metal and doom with some thrash and classic metal tinges. Lots of guitar harmonies and double bass drumming but also dark riffs and baritone vocals.

SJ: How did you guys get together?

The band was founded in January 2017 when I reached out to Brandon Signorino about collaborating in this style. We wrote some songs together and he also helped polish arrangements for some material that I had accrued. We decided to record a demo as a way to recruit other musicians, which was released that fall with me doing vocals and playing bass while he handled the guitars and drum programming. The results weren’t the most professional, but it gave people an idea of what we were doing. From there, our other members Brandon Davis, Freddie Rodriguez, and Max Barber expressed interest and gradually joined. Since they’ve all played in the band Mask of Sanity together for some time, that made it easy for us all to gel and expand even further.

SJ: What's the toughest part of being in a band?

Coordinating schedules. After all, you gotta factor in everybody’s day jobs and other life commitments when arranging practices, recording sessions, and gigs locally and beyond. Fortunately, we plan well enough and find enough flexibility for these situations to not be too much of an issue. It’s just tricky to live in the moment when it feels like all the cool stuff you’re doing is still on the horizon.

SJ: Thematically, what are Lavaborne songs all about?

We’ve used a mix of fantasy, mythology, and religion for our lyrical themes so far. There’s pretty standard metal fare like Vikings and the Antichrist, but I like to think we put these topics under a questioning lens as opposed to playing them straight. You’ll die heroically in battle but did the guy you kill also die heroically? Was Medusa really the monster? What happens when the persecuted becomes the persecutor? Fun stuff like that.

SJ: If you were putting on your own heavy music fest, what would be your dream lineup?

There are a bunch of fests like Mad with Power and Legions of Metal that already have what I would consider dream bills. I tell you my dream headliner would be Candlemass though somebody like Annihilator would also rule. There are also a ton of newer bands like Smoulder, Visigoth, Cauldron, Haunt, Judicator, and Gatekeeper among others that I’d love to share the stage with. I sure wouldn’t say no if The Gates of Slumber were available either 😉.

SJ: Biggest influences on your singing & songwriting in Lavaborne?

Guys like Iced Earth’s Matt Barlow, Nevermore’s Warrel Dane, Blaze Bayley, Visigoth’s Jake Rogers, and Candlemass’ various singers have greatly shaped my vocal approach with Lavaborne. As much as I still want to be Bruce Dickinson when I grow up, the baritone singers in this sort of metal are the ones that made me want to do this ‘my way.’

As far as songwriting goes, I strive for songs that make memorable impressions. It’s always important to have catchy riffs and vocal lines, but it’s even better to have engaging lyrics and thoughtful structures backing them up. I’ve crafted a lot of our songs’ basic structures but having everybody else fill in the arrangements makes them much more complex and exciting than they’d be otherwise.

SJ: What other stuff do you guys have planned for 2020?

We are in the process of recording our debut album now, aiming to get that out sometime this year. We’ve also announced our first set of shows that’ll be happening locally. Once the album is released, we’re aiming to branch out into the greater regional area and beyond.

SJ: When did you first start playing an instrument or singing?

I actually started with piano when I was six or seven; I had lessons for a couple years but didn’t want to stick with it after the teacher I had moved away. I always wish I had in hindsight. I started doing choir in junior high, so it was only natural that I wanted to be a singer when I got into heavier music. From there, I picked up bass when I was about sixteen since I wanted to be taken seriously and had more aptitude for that than guitar. I was a vocalist/bassist in every other serious band I’ve been a part of so being the honest to gods ‘lead singer’ of Lavaborne has been a personal change of pace.

SJ: How would you describe the current state of the Indy underground music scene?

I think the Indy scene is always fluctuating but ultimately stays solid. We have plenty of reliable venues here (Black Circle, State Street, The Mel, Healer, etc.) and there’s always a healthy number of bands active.

As far as actual bands, I can’t speak for the punk or alternative scenes, but I do feel like metal is experiencing some changeovers lately. Bands like Thorr-Axe, Battersea, and my old group Spirit Division split with the musicians involved moving on to new projects. It might just be me getting too dramatic about a new decade, but I think there’s some sort of transition taking place. Either way, it’s always exciting to see what great albums and gigs will come out of it. I’m certainly excited to see how things move forward with the resources we have.

SJ: What advice would you give to aspiring young metal dudes?

You should always know what you want but also have the flexibility to see how someone else’s contributions can improve it.

SJ: Being in multiple bands, a good idea or great idea?

Best idea! All of us in Lavaborne are in or have been in multiple bands. As long as you’re communicating openly and properly coordinating schedules, it’s a great way to express yourself in ways that you might not get to otherwise.


Lavaborne is:
Chris Latta - Vocals
Brandon Davis - Bass
Max Barber - Drums
Brandon Signorino - Guitars
Freddie Rodriguez - Guitars

https://www.facebook.com/Lavaborne/
https://lavaborne.bandcamp.com/releases







 


Wednesday, January 29, 2020

Erik Larson (Omen Stones) Interview

Omen Stones (Richmond, VA) will be at State Street Pub Sunday 2/2 along with Indy's Lavaborne and Drooler.

Omen Stones drummer & multi-instrumentalist Erik Larson, who has a long history in the underground music scene, agreed to answer a few questions for me.

SJ: How would you describe the Omen Stones sound?


I've been calling what we do a Metal Confluence. We all share a Venn Diagram of 70's Proto Metal, contemporary doom and Death Metal. It's a little bit everything really. Dad Rock.


SJ: How long has Omen Stones been jamming and how did you guys get together?

We've been a band for a very short time. Tommy and I started writing together about 2 years ago, just working ideas out w/out a bassist. Ed joined us about 6 months later, so really the band is less than 2 yrs old. All 3 of us are in other bands and Omen Stones was kinda spawned from a desire to work out some songs that couldn't be used in the other projects, scratch different itches so to speak.


SJ: I know you don't do the social media thing, but I was curious; what's your take on the current state of underground music as it relates to social media?

I do not personally participate in social media, never have, but the band does have a FB page that Tommy moderates for general "Hey we exist" purposes, and we do have a bandcamp page. My personal feelings and choice to remain off of the socials is something that works for me. I've been much happier w/out the distraction. I'm good w/human to human non-electronic interactions, i don't feel like i'm missing anything. I read a lot, I pay attention. As to the second part of your question, it's a multifaceted answer. The socials do do a seemingly good job at networking folks for productive ends w/in the underground music scene, but that seems to be the smaller part of it's daily function. From my vantage, it seems to amplify the darker side of people's negative desires and ambitions, creating disunity and a false narrative of what's important or valued. It's ugly to me.


SJ: How did you get started playing music?

I've always been interested in music from a very young age. I listened to my fathers records in elementary school early on. zeroed in on playing guitar and drums by the time i was 11. Got my first guitar at 9, though i put that instrument down for nearly 15yrs. Started playing in bands when i was newly 12 as a Drummer. I'm still trying to figure both instruments out.

SJ: Would you say you're more into playing guitar or drums?

They're different beasts really. Drums for me are more visceral and immediate. Guitar conveys a more esoteric feeling for me. I get something out of both that is satisfying. These days i've been playing more drums simply because I can't find a drummer to get a band going with my guitar stuff. Drums are kinda my trade instrument at this point. I can sit in and jam on those things better than guitar. I'm self taught on both though, so there's always stuff to learn.

SJ: You've been in a ton of great bands over the years, what advice do you have for musicians getting started?

Main thing i think is you should be enjoying what you do and who you do it with. If it's not fun, it's not gonna last. BTO said it best "Chances are you'll go far, if you get in w/the right bunch of fellows". Having said that, i know plenty of folks who go the solo route and get it done right. Follow your catharsis is what i'd advise.

SJ: What's the craziest thing that ever happened while you were out on tour?

Plenty, as you know Steve, can and does happen. A lot of which i'd prefer not to repeat w/a paper trail. It's hard to narrow down to one thing. I've been robbed by cops, full on brawls against White Power gangs at shows, Tattooed in Squats, Fed by families who didn't share my language or me theirs, Met lots of "Famous" people who were less impressive than "regular" people who just wanted to say hello or thank you for the songs. Really for me there is no "craziest thing", it's all fuckin crazy.  It's a beautiful crazy though, i wouldn't want it any other way.

SJ: Any current releases spinning on your turntable these days?

Well, yes. I don't think i'm gonna win any punk points with my answers though. I go in waves of interests and focuses. I'm constantly listening out for new or old stuff that inspires. Having said that, most recently as far as newer releases, i'm really stoked on

Elbow- Giants of all Sizes

Big Wreck- But for the Sun

Book of Wyrms- Remythologizer

Devil To Pay- Forever, Never Whenever

A good portion of the time i have been padding out and digging into a bunch of jazz stuff. I grew up with my Dad listening to a lot of Mile Davis and Dave Brubeck, Stan Getz, Chuck Mangione, etc. On top of all that stuff, i've been finding my own players and groups that speak to me. Asechiah Bogdan and I do a band together called Vault, and he and I have been writing a full length weekly and after rehearsals, we often find ourselves sitting at my house pulling out my Dad's old records and listening to that stuff as well as what i've been collecting to compliment that collection. It's a whole world of music opening up. Imagine someone who's never listened to Metal before asking you who are the important bands they should start with. It's a vast impossible answer right? Yea, so that's what i've been doing to myself w/Jazz.



SJ: What can you tell me about the Richmond area music scene?

Richmond is a growing city in every way. It's really truly becoming a city now, where as before it always felt like a Little Big Town kinda thing. The population is exploding, and so with that the different perspectives and voicings also grow. Richmond has had a very solid heavy rock scene for the past 20+yrs, of which i've had the pleasure of participating in in various bands. We've also had a good Punk/HC scene for longer that i've also had the good fortune to contribute to. It is a college town, so there is new energy and ideas that inject into the scene on a regular basis. The availability and amount of places to play ebbs and flows though. The main thing about the Richmond scene that I have always loved, is that no one gives a shit that you're in a band. Every mother fucker here is in a band, so nobody cares. What people care about is if you are good. So it forces people to be good or go home. For the most part, "Band Competition" doesn't exist here. Either you're good or you're not. there is no real in between.


SJ: Any favorite venues or shows you've played in the past?

That's another hard one to qualify. A lot of my favorite places to play are gone. A lot of my favorite places to play have nothing to do w/the venue, but rather the folks who run it or show up. I can say i've been lucky enough to hit most of the famous hot spots for better or worse. The biggest one i worked to make happen was getting to play the Clermont Lounge in Atlanta. That happened. it was awesome and i'll probably never get to do it again.  


Omen Stones live:
01/31 Raleigh NC Slims w/ Crystal Spiders, Moryo
02/01 Asheville NC Odditorium
02/02 Indianapolis IN State Street Pub w/ Lavaborne, Drooler
02/03 Louisville KY Highlands Taproom w/ Problem with Dragons
02/04 Cincinnati OH Northside Yacht Club
02/05 Columbus OH Dirty Dungarees w/ Deprecator, False Teeth
02/06 Kent OH The Dome w/ Goosed, Ghost:Hello
02/07 Wilmington DE 1984 Arcade Bar
02/08 Baltimore MD Rituals Bar & Venue w/ Alms, Cavern, Almost Honest
02/09 Richmond VA Fuzzy Cactus w/ Hoboknife, Deathcrown

Omen Stones is:
Ed Fierro – bass
Tommy Hamilton – guitar/vocals
Erik Larson – drums

https://www.facebook.com/OmenStonesVA/
https://omenstones.bandcamp.com/




Tuesday, January 28, 2020

Devil to Pay - "Tap Dancing on your Grave" music video

Devil to Pay - "Tap Dancing on your Grave" music video




from the album "Forever, Never or Whenever" on the Ripple Music label http://www.ripple-music.com

Filmed by J Rich Media October 2019 at The Inferno Room, Indianapolis, IN.

Edited by S Janiak.

Recorded & Mixed by Mike Bridavsky at Russian Recording, Bloomington IN 2019.
Mastered by T. Dallas Reed at HeavyHead Recording Co.

Devil to Pay is:
Steve Janiak - guitars/vocals
Matt Stokes - bass
Chad Prifogle - drums
Rob Hough - guitars

visit us online at http://www.deviltopay.net
http://www.facebook.com/deviltopay/
https://www.instagram.com/deviltopayband
https://twitter.com/devil_to_pay













Tuesday, December 24, 2019

growths on my head dream

dream from this morning:

i was living in some flophouse above some hotel. i tried to run my fingers through my hair and realized i just had a massive scar on the side of my skull from brain surgery.
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i went to scratch my forehead and there was a big growth on the side, the size and shape of a small lightbulb. i decided i needed to see a doctor, even though i had no insurance. i walked down to the hotel and asked if anyone else had noticed this growth on my head. a few said they did but didn't want to mention it or the others. i reached around the back of my head and there was another growth sticking out the back. this one was like a big carrot.
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i decided the best way to cheaply go to the hospital was to call the cops. while i am freaking out about growths on my head, a lady cop shows up and tells me to put on the handcuffs and follow her. she gets in her car and takes off. she meant follow her car with my old beat up car. as i get in to follow her, feel another growth on the top left of my head, this one looks like a cut sausage. i get on the highway and it's rush hour in los angeles. i find another growth on the top of my head as i realize i lost the cop entirely.
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finally i wake up

Monday, December 2, 2019

breakdown at the big music fest

dream:

the band is at a big music festival. after some time hanging out with friends and waiting to play, two of the guys are spitting mad. they're saying i wrote disparaging things about them. i ask for proof and somehow a postcard turns up. "it's not even in my handwriting!" i say, but they're not convinced. the postcard said something about not "needing" the band in barely legible script. the guys won't drop it so eventually i get upset, threatening to pack up my shit and go home, just quit the band forever. the argument goes on for a long time. we miss our set up time and although we decide to play, we've pushed past the official start time. our set up takes even longer than normal and the crowd is getting bored. we finally blast through a song with a ton of mistakes because everyone is pissed. we play another and then everyone walks offstage. i'm yelling into the mic. nobody cares. then i woke up.

Monday, November 25, 2019

cartel marriage - bigfoot kidnapping - red hot bum

dream:

i am in an alternate timeline, somehow dealing with a cartel in mexico. one of the bosses introduces me to his 19 year old daughter (who looks like camila cabello) and eventually i find out i'm supposed to marry her so she can become a US citizen. it's awkward because of the language barrier but also the age difference. i go along because, if i don't, they'll probably kill me.

some time later we're living in a big house with multiple sides of her family. there was a ceremony, but i don't remember it. at this point the girl refuses to be in the same room with me. in the beginning she would hold my hand and hang out. now her family is disappointed that she is repulsed by me and i don't even know what to do. at one point she screams she would stay in the house (away from me) but would never "pay any bills!" her brother takes me aside and tells me about an opportunity to teach music theory online, which i assume is a money laundering scheme.

that afternoon jason rich and i go out into the country to shoot a drone video. we spend an inordinate amount of time getting the perfect shots. finally it starts to get dark. we jump in a light brown van and drive down these old country roads. i start to get goosebumps. something seems to jump out of the treeline on the right side of the road. it looks like a gorilla? maybe bigfoot? we stop the van to take a second look and are kidnapped at gunpoint.

now we're driving to who knows where, but we're sure we're going to die. it's dark and the road is bumpy. after a long drive, we come to a stop. we're shoved out of the van and handed over to members of the family cartel. i can't tell if this is a second kidnapping or a prisoner swap.

they untie us and tell us we can go. uncle fezzy is there in his brown van and we jump in with him. some bum walks up to the van wearing a red beanie and asks for change. fezzy says he doesn't have any but the bum spies little boxes of red hots all over the dash. he reaches through the window as we start to pull away. he has a handful of red hots and m&ms and is screaming while hanging off the side of the van. fezzy swerves multiple times until the bum falls off.

then i woke up.