Thursday, July 28, 2016

Steve Janiak's F'n Rock and Roll Jamboree and General Hoe Down Vol 2: Featuring BRIMSTONE COVEN, VOID KING and ARCHARUS live at the 5th Quarter Lounge 7/25/16

Saturday, February 20, 2016

Prince Knievel - FBI chase - memorial


we were on the run. the FBI was after us. for what, i have no idea. we had to make a pit stop in a small midwestern town. we went into the back warehouse part of some diner. we ended up looking for a lost dog, the cute, scroungy mutt looking kind. some guy showed up, we booked.

we're on the highway driving. it's a 4 lane with a grassy median. we're flying at over 100 mph, one or two FBI vehicles on our tail. at some point i look over and there is PRINCE, the purple one, in the driver's seat of a black SUV. he's wearing a purple helmet and a cape and is smiling at us. he guns it and goes up to 200 mph instantly. ahead in the distance are massive streamers hanging in the air, they are motionless. they look like a stationary firework sculpture in the sky, only they are reflective metal and it's sunny out. PRINCE's car shapeshifts into a rocket and pulls up, shooting straight into the sky. somehow at 100 mph we are seemingly motionless, watching. apparently he is now a daredevil and is going to freefall from the rocket in his purple suit. the rocket stops at the top of the sky and he falls out, he's hitting the streamers on the way down, spinning and flipping and wowing the crowds who somehow gathered on the side of the highway.

the FBI got close but they were distracted by PRINCE's freefall stunt. (thanks!) now we're at some banquet hall. there is a giant, maybe 200 foot tall white screen at one end and hundreds of folding chairs in rows. there are so many chairs that i borrow a bicycle to ride around to choose one.

the event is some sort of memorial for my friend brady who recently passed away. i'm trying to explain in my mind why we hadn't spoken in so long. i remember sending an essay form, with questions. he refused to fill it out, simply writing "no" next to the question about staying friends.

after the event, i'm in the back room. there is a large rubber trash can with debris in it. when i look closer there are books from my collection inside. i grab a few to take them back home.

the end?

Monday, February 15, 2016

duff mckagan's personal assistant


i'm backstage somewhere. some rocker dude that i think was duff mckagan walks in. he's worried about the big reunion show. i tell him it's a piece of cake, whatever. he looks in the mirror or into the wardrobe closet. i look at the back of his hair and it's all teased out 1980s style but with plugs. i mildly recoil in horror. i can't remember after that.

the end?

Tuesday, January 26, 2016

weird baby body snatchers

dream: i can only remember bits of it, but there were eyeless, hairless babies that were climbing up on sleeping people and merging their arms and face into the back of the sleepers heads. this allowed them to take over their bodies. i had one get its' fists into the back of my head and it was about to merge the face but someone helped me yank it out. it was burrowed in like a deep tree root. what the hell?

Saturday, April 11, 2015

cruise ship heroin lounge


was on some kind of weird futuristic cruise ship. it was so huge it had roads and towns. at a gas station, a mobile strip club pulled in to fuel up. it was three segmented compartments connected with a  hitch... covered in neon lights.

later i'm in the mall on the cruise ship. there's a boutique heroin lounge. i'm wanting to try it but not sure if i'll get in trouble. the lady at the desk informs me you pick your amount and pay. give up your ID. they take you back to a little room and give you a dose. you relax in a chair or on a couch. if your heart stops beating, the phone will ring on the front desk and they'll come resuscitate you. my crazy neighbor lady is there. i know this because i figure out that once you're in the small rooms, they shrink you to miniature size and put you in this tiny dollhouse. i found the dollhouse and lived up the top. saw everyone very tiny from above. i convince myself i don't need to try it, because i can reach the same enlightened state via meditation.

there was more to it but i can't remember

Sunday, January 18, 2015

moving to a small blue house with a huge pipe organ

well yesterday morning i woke up after dreaming for what seemed like days about zombies. there was literally too much to type it all up. today's dream was different.

we had moved to a small blue house in the downtown area. which was odd, because later when you looked out certain windows it was cornfields as far as the eye could see. inside the house was a lot of custom stucco. rounded entry-ways, curved edges, a long tunnel to the kitchen. the basement was small and unfinished. i could see it through a grate in the floor. i was bummed that the band didn't have a place to practice. the floors were all dark wood planks. it seemed kinda small. after being there a while i stumbled on a door i didn't remember being there. past the door was a large room off the main entry to the house. i think there was some furniture in one end. on the other end were two wooden doors about 30 feet tall. the handles were 15 feet in the air. somehow i got them opened and inside was a giant pipe organ looking thing. at first i didn't see any keys. then i started fidgeting with it and found them covered up. once i removed the cover i noticed all the keys on once side were black and the other side was white. above the normal row of keys was another smaller row, all brown. above those, in a semicircular pattern from left to right, were what looked like typewriter keys. each one had a small icon on the end, like a skull, or a pair of dice. i started pressing each one and they were various percussion sounds. handclap here, shaker, snare drum, etc. i'm pressing all the keys finally and making a racket. to the left of my foot are pedals to play chords.

suddenly my wife yells that dave grohl is there. he probably wants to shoot a video about the pipe organ. i ignore him and keep making noise with the thing. eventually he leaves and i am still at the organ. later i see through the window some kids carrying gear into a house. one of them comes to our porch and asks if we're going to call the cops on them if they have a loud house party. we laugh.

at some point we leave. when we come back there is a burgler in the house, but i'm in such a good mood, i don't recognize him as a burgler and start asking him questions. eventually i figure out that my wife is freaked out so i detain him. but i can't remember much else.

the end?

Sunday, January 4, 2015

the song that invented rock and roll, the shadow creature from the sea


i'm a 14 year old kid wandering around in a post office / hotel lobby. seems like i'm very poor. i may have been begging people for money. for some reason i get inspired and, using a sea shell and some toilet paper, i record a song. the guitar part seems like it was already there, because i never see the guitar. but it's a blues progression with an uptempo groove. i scat lyrics over the top of the guitar and everything seems divinely inspired, as i was channeling "from beyond the source of all understanding". i soon learn the song isn't just any song, it's the most important song ever, as it's "the song that invented rock and roll".

i remembered in the dream being really glad i got a copy of the song recorded somehow. most dreams end and i don't have the proof of what happened, but this feels different. after i listened back to the song, i uploaded it on bluetunes, which is like youtube for songs. eventually i am asking people for money for a hotel room. a security guard who looks like christopher meloni from Law & Order: SVU comes up and starts to throw me out. i get out the sea shell and play him the song and make up some story about it. he quickly is amazed and arranges a hotel room for me to stay in. once i confessed to him that i wasn't an old bluesman (but actually a 14 year old kid), he became enraged and cancelled the reservation. then i'm pretty sure he threw me out.

i knew the song was good, but i looked at bluetunes again and it was already over 5,000 hits. then i played it for some musician friends who all marveled at the hilarious yet poetic scat lyrics that i can't remember now. later on, the song was up to 5 million hits.

but before that point, chuck brown showed up in a 1970 buick riviera to give me a ride. in the passenger seat is gary busey, so i hop in the back. we're driving in shallow water along a beach. we're heading southwest, more or less towards a deep orange sunset. on our right is a thick forest of palm trees. we start talking about this or that and end up arguing about interstate highways and traffic jams. eventually i pull out the sea shell and play them the song. they both recognize instantly that the song was divinely inspired. then gary busey talked about his spirit experience.

suddenly, a huge, dark wave races towards us from the ocean. it looks like a whale or a submarine. before we can even ask what it is, it crashes into the front of the car, knocking us out of the water and into the trees. in the melee, i catch glimpses of it even though it seems to move at the speed of light. it's solid black. in an instant it reaches out with laser arms into the car and touches gary busey and myself. i get a cold chill of fear down my spine. it's a shadow person, but the size of a school bus. it takes off down the beach. as scared as we are, we run after it. soon we end up back at the post office / hotel and it's grabbed someone, putting itself inside the person. i call out and it lets go and runs past me. now it looks like it's wearing a trench coat and hat, but it's still 30 feet tall. i confront the thing, yelling at it and scolding it. it appears to change emotionally. it looks remorseful and slinks off into the sea

the end?

Monday, December 8, 2014

bad vacation, weird house, broke down and arrested


we're in some exotic country, with my parents and a tour group. we're milling around inside a hotel with many shops so at some point we miss the information about that evening's dinner. it was a dressy kinda restaurant so i had to go buy a shirt and tie and some pants and shoes, but it seemed like i didn't have the money. i'm looking at the initial itinerary that was printed months earlier, it shows we are meeting for dinner at 1:30am. so my parents and wife and i all are killing time, trying to figure out why dinner is so late. we're getting bored and falling asleep. finally the others return from the actual dinner. i am livid. now it is too late for us to get any food.

the next morning we are killing time in the same series of shops inside the hotel. i walk into what appears to be a shop full of souvenirs with various sizes of buddha statues. as i walk up the steps, a woman grabs my wrist and twists my arm from behind. another woman gets in my face and tells me i can't enter the temple wearing my floppy hat and shoes. i try to argue that i didn't know it was a temple, because it looks like a stupid gift shop. they insist i remove my hat and shoes but i tell them to piss off, i don't want to see the temple anyway.

by this point i am really irritated. i decide to lay on the lobby floor face down, like i am dead. after a while i move, snake-like, without the use of my arms or legs around the marbled floor.

eventually we are sitting at the bar and begin to argue about the previous night's dinner. my dad takes offense and thinks i am mad at him, he wants to fight. i am screaming that it's my fault and i can't believe it happened. i storm out of the bar.

at some point i'm in a tall 3 story house near a large pond. the carpets are all red. the main stairway is in the center of the house, with two large rooms on each side... both with giant rectangular holes in the floor that go down to the bottom level. i don't know who owns the house but i told someone they should get some railings for those holes.

the next scene, i am driving my old red s-10 down a highway in this humid little country. something breaks down and i'm in the middle of the road. my stuff has been thrown and scattered everywhere. i'm slowly picking it up as locals on motorbikes are zooming past, trying not to hit me. finally a guy shows up and parks his bike behind the truck. "i'm helping warn people", he says.

the local police show up. they want to know where my driving papers are. i don't have any. then they are asking about the yellow box truck behind me. it's full of my band gear, but there is no driver and i have no papers for anything. so i go to jail and all the stuff is confiscated.

the end?

Saturday, September 27, 2014

hollow man?

so i had this dream earlier in the week. i don't know where we are, or what we're doing, but somehow i cut the bottom of my palm open. instead of red flesh under the skin, there is empty space. i realize that part of my arm and hand are completely hollow. and that because of this, i will probably die soonish. i tell everyone at the party (?) that i'm somehow hollow inside, but they make jokes about it and act like it's no big deal.

that's all i remember

Monday, September 1, 2014

finding your shapshifting parrot on a craft beer train


we left the house in a small black car. we were talking the entire way to the train station. drove past landmarks that i don't recognize. hills, creeks, houses, and trees. she dropped me off at the train and i waited in line and got on. the train was a 'beer locomotive' or something. it went through small towns and stopped occasionally while everyone drank craft beer.

so i'm guzzling hop-filled pale ales on a slow moving train. the train is old, but lovingly refurbished. woodgrain this and wrought iron that. i step out on a small landing between cars, and there is mango, our sun conure. she is hanging on some metal bars, looking exhausted. i flip out and search for something to put her in, to keep her safe. i run into the train again. i can't seem to find anything. when i come back out to the landing, my cousin bobby is standing there. mango is gone. before i can flip out any more, bobby tells me that he is actually mango. she is a shape-shifter. i ask mangobby how long she has been following me, she says she flew 50 or so miles behind the car. "how did you get out the door?" "i flew quickly through before it closed." this almost makes me sick, that we didn't notice the bird flying out behind us. she could have been injured.

so i ask mangobby to stay in human form so i don't have to worry about her flying off, and we can talk. she agrees and has a beer. i decide to call barbie and ask her if mango is ok back in her cage at the house. "hello?" "hey, it's me. i just wanted to see how mango was doing?" "how mango is doing? fine, why?" "are you sure?" "*sigh* yes, i'm sure. let me double check" at this point i have become an annoyance. i smile at mangobby and am about to drop the news: the bird is safe in human form, drinking beer on a train with me. except she never comes back to the phone. i can hear her talking to dad in the background. like they're talking about car hubcaps or engine filters. medium volume. this goes on for about 15 minutes before i hang up.

i eventually get distracted when the train stops. more people are getting on. i set my phone down somewhere and now i can't find it. i run from car to car, looking for the phone thief, with mangobby in tow. some conductor-hat wearing kid takes me to a lost and found. he grabs a phone from a wooden box and hands it to me. "this is a samsung galaxy whatever, my phone is an iphone!"

eventually i wake up and check to see if my phone is there.

Saturday, August 30, 2014

eyehategod interview, moving to charleston

two separate dreams this morning:

i met with the guys from EYEHATEGOD for a book i was writing. it was supposed to be an official biography, i think. we were hanging out at various locations while i asked questions and wrote down notes and recorded them via audio. they gave more and more info. finally i started asking the tough questions and they didn't wanna talk so much anymore. then i woke up.

finally i got back to sleep. eventually i was told we were packing up and moving to a hotel in charleston, il. with a woman and her 3 kids. all the anipals were left behind or someone took them, i'm not sure. i kept protesting the move but was told over and over it was for the best. the hotel room had two queen sized beds and a small bathroom. there was a large backyard that all the hotel residents shared. at the bottom of some stairs, back in the far corner, were stacks of tiny rabbit cages. they were just laying on top of one another like someone put them down and ran off. our bunny wasn't even there. on one end of the hotel, there was a bar and pool area. i went down to the pool and tried to figure out how the hell i was going to get out of the situation.

the end?

Saturday, August 9, 2014

drunken snuggie vs the cops, tourin' via porches, wendys ban

dreams from this morning:

i was in a yard next to a white picket fence type house. it was night. i'm talking to, or trying to convince a cop not to arrest my wife. she has had a few drinks and she's really mad and yelling at them. there is at least 5 or 6 and they want to take her to jail. she's wearing a snuggie. she goes  back in the house and sits on a recliner. we go into the kitchen. i keep talking to the cop, telling him she doesn't need jail, she needs a nap. then i hear them getting angry and i run around the other side from the kitchen into the living room. i'm only wearing boxers and a tshirt. all the cops have sawed-off shotguns and they all freak out and point them at me. i put my hands up and start yelling, "really? gonna shoot me in my underwear?" and they get embarrassed and lower the guns.

later, the band is on tour or something. we're playing a show on the porch of  a tall house somewhere in the south. the porch overlooks a large field. kids are running around and we can't find any power cables or cables for the PA. this goes on forever and the show never seems to start.

then another dream where wendys was banned from serving food forever by the government. people are debating if it was right or wrong. i just thought it was funny

Monday, June 30, 2014

worst dream ever?

so i had this awful dream the other day. it was me but not me. i was working in a dirty warehouse factory type of place, with toxic metal chemicals. i was new to the job and all the other workers hated me. we had to wear gray jumpsuits. everyone was covered in soot and dirt from the metal. my hands were still dirty no matter how many times i washed them, the metal had gotten into the cracks of my skin.
after a few weeks of working there, getting picked on and pushed around, i got very tired of it. there were several incidents that i can't clearly remember but all of them involved me hating being there and wanting a way out, and someone causing me pain. finally something happened and it put me over the edge. the guy who was always taunting me and causing me problems shoved me into some of the metal but i caught myself before falling into it and shoved him to the floor. there was a split second where i had a decision to make: beat the living shit out of this person and stand up for myself, or let it go. time sort of stopped. then i decided to get my revenge. i told myself that it wasn't real, after all. that nothing was real. then i viciously beat this persons face into a pulp and enjoyed it. releasing a mass amount of emotional distress in the process. once i stopped, everyone stood and looked at me, frightened. then the scene started to fade, and a voice started talking. it was an older version of me. "that was 60 years ago. that's why i'm here." and the view cut back to this other me as a very old man, who was in prison for this beating. who had served 60 years and only had a year or two left to serve. now i was feeling a tangled mass of anxiety, trying to figure out how i would restart my life after being behind bars for so long. i kept telling myself that it wasn't real but i slowly couldn't hear that voice anymore because the reality seemed to be setting in. finally i woke up and was pretty disturbed by the whole thing.

the end?