Monday, November 25, 2019

cartel marriage - bigfoot kidnapping - red hot bum

dream:

i am in an alternate timeline, somehow dealing with a cartel in mexico. one of the bosses introduces me to his 19 year old daughter (who looks like camila cabello) and eventually i find out i'm supposed to marry her so she can become a US citizen. it's awkward because of the language barrier but also the age difference. i go along because, if i don't, they'll probably kill me.

some time later we're living in a big house with multiple sides of her family. there was a ceremony, but i don't remember it. at this point the girl refuses to be in the same room with me. in the beginning she would hold my hand and hang out. now her family is disappointed that she is repulsed by me and i don't even know what to do. at one point she screams she would stay in the house (away from me) but would never "pay any bills!" her brother takes me aside and tells me about an opportunity to teach music theory online, which i assume is a money laundering scheme.

that afternoon jason rich and i go out into the country to shoot a drone video. we spend an inordinate amount of time getting the perfect shots. finally it starts to get dark. we jump in a light brown van and drive down these old country roads. i start to get goosebumps. something seems to jump out of the treeline on the right side of the road. it looks like a gorilla? maybe bigfoot? we stop the van to take a second look and are kidnapped at gunpoint.

now we're driving to who knows where, but we're sure we're going to die. it's dark and the road is bumpy. after a long drive, we come to a stop. we're shoved out of the van and handed over to members of the family cartel. i can't tell if this is a second kidnapping or a prisoner swap.

they untie us and tell us we can go. uncle fezzy is there in his brown van and we jump in with him. some bum walks up to the van wearing a red beanie and asks for change. fezzy says he doesn't have any but the bum spies little boxes of red hots all over the dash. he reaches through the window as we start to pull away. he has a handful of red hots and m&ms and is screaming while hanging off the side of the van. fezzy swerves multiple times until the bum falls off.

then i woke up.