Monday, March 31, 2014

suicidal actress - tweaker guy - chainsaw maniac


i'm on top of a brick building in some city. it's night time. there is some kind of ruckus going on below. firetrucks, people running. i can't tell what started it but it looks like bedlam.

eventually i am hearing about this young actress named savannah. she is blonde and cute and clinically depressed. she tried to kill herself once with pills but only ended up sick. the second time, she tried to drown herself in the back of a speedboat. i can see the white boat sinking in the back and the water rising over the seats.. she drank heavily because she thought it would be easier. wearing a white bikini, she goes under the water and someone yanks her out. her eye makeup is all streaky.

later i change into a thin tweaker guy. someone is setting me up on a date with this suicidal girl. i ride my bmx style motorcyle over to her house. it's night time. the house has no front walls, so you can see right inside. i pull up and there is a couple snuggling on the couch. the guy says something to the girl about sleeping with all his friends and they get into a fight. screw this, i think. i leave my bike behind without even knocking on the door (which isn't there either) and start walking home.

i get down the block and it suddenly feels like i'm delivering pizzas. a masked, chainsaw-wielding crazy person jumps out from behind a fence. i am startled, but before i have a chance to run, he chops my left arm off. i don't drop the pizza in my right hand. finally i wake up.

the end?

Tuesday, March 25, 2014

burned man, rastafarian engineer, pee pee slot machine


i wake up in some sort of metal room. it looks like a lab but it is also a recording studio. there is a team of doctors and nurses working on a man who is burned very badly. his skin is burnt completely black, with cracks of red around the edges. they are doing vitamin injections directly into his skin. he doesn't appear to feel anything but he knows i am in the room. he doesn't speak to me but he looks at me several times. he's alternately lying down and sitting up, talking normally. he looks like a cross between a zombie and a comic book character. i guess am there because the band is using the studio during the day.

earlier, when the band is setting up in the studio, a tall rastafarian guy comes in and tells us we have to leave. his dreads go all the way down his back. allegedly we keep breaking into the studio. he tells us we can't record there. except he records us anyways since we are already set up.(?)

eventually, i walk out of the room with the burned man and into what looks like a cross between a shopping mall and a level of DOOM III. i can only see about 20 feet and the rest is pitch black. i'm on a metal deck which is above a lower level. there are metal hand rails. there are a bunch of people out there on the deck. i have to pee really bad. i walk up to some kind of slot machine and lift it open at the center. i realize i'm standing there in tighty whiteys. i start to relieve myself and some woman asks if i have a problem cause she's going to watch. that freaks me out so i tell her i'm going to go outside instead. having to pee eventually wakes me up.

the end?

Monday, March 24, 2014

a big festival i can't remember


it was some kind of big festival. a 420 nerd fest maybe. i am having trouble with the details. it was outside in the woods. lots and lots of people. some were famous actors. one was the guy who played boon in the tv show lost. there were lots of shenanigans that i can't remember.

the end?

Saturday, March 22, 2014

pool time for the mentally challenged, pilot instructional video


i was in a home for the mentally challenged. we were in an indoor pool with tan tiles and dull, yellow walls. there was a sun roof. myself and a majority of the patients were at one end of the pool, while an instructor and a patient that looked like bubbles from trailer park boys were at the other. he was teaching him how to serve a volleyball. he missed several times and overshot several times. someone got hit in the face with the ball. at some point i looked down and saw a long haired cat lying on the bottom of the pool. i yelled but no one cared. i grabbed the cat, pulled it from the water and hoisted it on the side of the pool. it looked like colonel meow and it was soaked. it didn't suffer any ill effects and for all i can tell it was trying to drown itself. one of the employees brought out an old school tv and held it over the water so we could watch a vhs instructional video. "don't!" i thought.

next, i'm in an instructional video. i'm a pilot sitting in an airplane cockpit. the video is for pilots. the narrarator says "always have a moth in the window with some food" as if a moth in the cockpit will help you detect pressure changes. what?

there was more but i forgot it all.

the end?

Friday, March 21, 2014

war, fast food, box trucks, dead birds & a missing shitty gig


i was in some war, but it was not me. i was black. lots of carnage. it was depressing. i can't remember too many details now, but after the war i worked at a fast food place. more discrimination and depression. when i wrote it down the dream was vivid. i can barely remember it now.

at some point i am driving a box truck. looks more like a UPS vehicle. i'm in the small downtown area at night. one of the main streets went from one way to two way and i'm on it. except it's not marked. and there are no stop signs or lights. so i'm having fun, yet being careful. no cars are anywhere on the streets. i finally pull up a ramp and onto a raised parking area. it surrounds a huge wall, probably 100 feet high or more, on top of which are apartments. i park on a corner and there are no rails, so i have to be careful or the truck will tumble off the edge.

i go inside my apartment. my four parakeets are dead. someone shoved the cage in the closet. my friend alex pops in as i'm trying to revive them, but they are all stiff. he says they were being very loud. "they were dying" i tell him.

shitty gig: i wrote down 'shitty gig' and i remember enough that there was a long sequence that was awful but i can't remember anything else. will post later if it comes back to me. gah
there was another part where i was talking to a bunch of little kids and they thought i was hilarious. i have no idea what happened.

the end?

Thursday, March 20, 2014

dude buggy colbert - film beach krimm colts


i'm on a beach riding dune buggies with stephen colbert. he wants to race and i agree. i decide to go behind the rocky hills but there is no path there. i lose.

then we're on the set of a movie. it's a small room off the beach. light wooden paneling. dark wooden furniture. the wall facing the beach is missing, so the camera can shoot. there is a mirror above the dresser that reflects the ocean. i can't make out who else is in the film, seems like one or more of the indianapolis colts. finally someone yells and there is an open portal across the way. i can see a similar room through the opening. the eldemur krimm guys are there. fred comes through and i yell for him to come over where we're shooting but he gets spooked and goes back through the portal. when i finally get over there it is closed.

the end?

Wednesday, March 19, 2014

van troubles, band crashers, russian visit


coming home late. in a van full of people. my wife seems to be driving. it's raining and very dark out. the highway is full of cars going too fast for the rain. suddenly the car in front of us swerves and there is a group of children kneeling around a large box full of puppies, directly in our path. everyone screams. i grab the wheel and we fly into the other lane, barely missing the children and the car next to us. we go off the road.

finally it stopped raining. the first light of dawn is starting. everyone is gone. the van is stuck in a field, between two other similar vans. there is a telephone pole nearby and a dirt road behind me. off in the distance are some woods and fields as far as the eye can see. i can't drive the van out, but i am able to move the adjacent van by hand (like superman). which somehow allows me to get out.

now i'm in what appears to be my kitchen, running to the bathroom in tighty whiteys. there is a guy standing in the kitchen, he waves at me. after i come out of the bathroom, i recognize him. he's some dude who i always talked to at the cat, way back when. (alley cat in broad ripple) he's loaded groceries all over the kitchen. every surface. all the floors. he tells me the band is staying here while they record their album. three weeks. what band? some band i don't know, extreme metal. they are called CREEATHON or CREATURRR or CREEATNN or something. i finally realize it's not my kitchen after all. randy blythe walks in, i'm explaining that the band is staying here. he says it's cool, tells me it's his house. apparently i am there to babysit the band and the house.

soon the band shows up. there is a bunch of family with them. kids. wives. aunts. a grandma. i'm going around pointing out the couches to one of the wives. "a place to crash here, a pull-out bed there, this chair folds out..." she's not impressed with the rundown house. kids are running around and screaming already. i'm not so sure about this anymore.

next we leave the house and end up in russia. was the house close to the russian border? i have no idea. now we're sitting in some sort of wooden lookout structure. there are russians everywhere. apparently russia is mounting an offensive. "what's Putin gonna do, come take over the studio?"
i yell. everyone turns and looks at me. maybe he is? i wake up.

the end?

Friday, March 7, 2014

lost in boston, returning to animals on the loose


we're on vacation in an alternate reality boston, the headquarters of the reeses chocolate company. we're trying to get out of town and heading the wrong way, so we get out and start walking. there is a sidewalk filled with people that goes above the motorway and we need to get across it.

the only other part i remember, we came home from the trip but were returning to my childhood home. my wife let me go in first as she needed to park the truck (which is her older black truck). i open the front door and inside is a huge mess of bird seed and animal food all over the dining room floor. there is mango (the sun conure), presto (the cat) and dorothy (the dwarf rabbit). they are all out and playing on the floor. i am freaked out for a second because birds and cats aren't supposed to mix. then mango leans her head into presto as she passes, exactly like presto leans into you when she wants to be petted. so i realize they are friends and mango learned her mannerisms. but i still have to clean up all the mess before my wife comes in.

the end?

Thursday, March 6, 2014

drug bust, chubby psychic lady, kitchen encounter


there was a drug bust. i can see a small white room. scales and baggies on a table. there was a woman on the floor in various stages of undress. i can't tell if she is alive or dead. that's all i can remember.

eventually there is a little chubby psychic lady. she gave a reading and the word spread. she's doing readings on a greyhound bus. there is a line from the bus down the sidewalk, through the park, around the corner of people waiting to see her. somehow they get confused and think my wife is the psychic. now they are calling her instead and it's a big hassle-fest. there seems to be much more but i can't get to the details.

then i'm at some sort of family get together. most everyone is in the other room, but i walk into this unrecognizable kitchen. it has maroon marbled counters and black tiled floors. lots of food still laying around. my uncle paul is in there with another older man. he barks something at me, telling me to do something. i ignore him and am messing with something in the sink. there is a confrontation. i can't remember any other details.

 the end?

Tuesday, March 4, 2014

dirt roads, luxury homes, blood draw, basement bar


 driving on a dirt road between the open ocean and empty fields, as far as the eye can see. except it's overcast. the wind is blowing a chilly breeze. the car is a dark color. i can't tell who else is in the car. i can't tell how long we've been driving. we're not sure if we are heading the right way so we try to turn around and get stuck in the mud.

next we are further down the road, looking at luxury homes, right on the beach. there seems to be a cluster of them together. we come around a curve and there is a stream running away from the ocean. we follow the stream and it goes directly in front of one of the homes. the house is a dull green with dull yellow trim, a large front porch that doubles as an open-air living room. there are dark triangular windows and i can see the ocean through another set of windows on the inside. the front porch steps lead right into the stream.
"this seems unusual?" i ask to no one in particular.
suddenly, a real estate agent says "oh it's perfectly safe. in fact, this house is already sold. the owners are coming right now!" some people with luggage arrive and say hello. they say the house is safe.

we continue walking along the stream and come upon another home. it looks like a big log cabin, also with a porch. the entire structure seems covered in black tree bark. on the porch are cots with people lying down. it looks like they are giving blood. a nurse in a cream colored outfit and hat comes up and greets us.
"are you hear for your test?"
"uh, no thanks"
"they are free"
"ok then"
she acts like she's going to get a blood drawing kit, i tell her i have my own. i pull out some sort of small black case from my pocket. inside are a few items that look like safety pins. one has a large fake diamond on one end. which kind of looks like a tiny disco ball. i start trying to poke my vein with it but the diamond keeps falling down and getting in the way. finally the cream colored nurse asks if i would like her to wake the lady up. "uh no?" i look over and behind the porch railing is my crazy neighbor lady, snoring on a cot. i scream "NO" but it's too late, she's starting to open her eyes. we start walking quickly away.

eventually we're far away from the ocean. walking through a big yard with freshly mowed grass. it's still overcast but slightly less so than earlier. we're at the home of a friend. it's a one story ranch type of deal with grey siding. i have the friend on the phone since we don't have a key. i walk into the open garage making a sexually offensive joke and he tells me to cool it. his niece or grandaughter is inside the home. oh. sorry.

now i am in my own bar. it's in a basement somewhere. it looks somewhat like indy's jukebox but the layout is different. and the wood paneling is black. the stage is off to the left. there is a hallway that doubles as a backstage. we just opened the place and are having an open mic night. i am going to get up and read lyrics to doors songs in some funny voice. there are only about 4 people there. i can't actually see the bar or how big the room is because i never look that direction. suddenly i need to leave for some reason. i must be my instincts because cadger and his friend walk in. oh well i should probably take my p.a. too. i start unplugging this little combo amp from a cd player and my old aiwa shelf stereo that stopped playing cds in 1995. i put all of them on a dolly and walk past cadger. he is pissed. i think they were going to get up and do wino songs. too bad.

there seems to be more but that's all i can remember

the end?

Monday, March 3, 2014

gas stations, lakes, book room, dream money

i'm working at a gas station somewhere in the south. the station is painted white and has a large, white overhang where the pumps are. across the highway is a wooded area. there is a cute black lady customer who always gets her gas here. somehow i had stolen something out of her front seat while she was paying for gas. a week later she returned and as she was inside paying, and i noticed a small container of pink liquid, which i think was window cleaner or maybe perfume? for some reason i am compelled to take it. she returns to her car and drives away only to return a few hours later. this time she talks to the manager and soon i am fired. as she is going to leave i confront her and return the items, telling her it's not something i would normally do. she is very angry and i break down in tears and beg for her forgiveness. it's one of those good cries too, with snot and lots of stammering

next, i am an older sheriff's deputy. i'm in a rowboat with another deputy and some sort of bloodhound. the other deputy and i are wearing fuzzy earmuff-type sheriff hats, sheriff-esque winter jackets and brown sheriffy pants. we're on a lake surrounded by trees. as we get closer to the opposite side, i can see a break in the line of trees. the water is running over the edge there, like an infinity pool. there is some sort of structure in the water very near it. as we drift close to investigate, the bloodhound jumps up and out of the boat, like it's going after something. it quickly goes ass up over the falls. i'm upset about the dog but my partner is focused on the structure. i can make out some details now. it looks like a submerged, old-timey riverboat, with only the top corner above the water. then i squint and see it looks more like an amusement ride, a roller coaster from the early 1900s.

i don't get to find out what it is, because i am transported through time. i am in the same place, only now it is a tall hill with trees. i am at the top with a lady in white. she is showing me the destruction. i hear a noise and see a giant crane arm, yanking a huge beautiful tree out from the edge. roots are snapping and dirt is flying. the lady is gone and i'm running along the edge, telling them to stop. i see a man with a hard hat. he spotted me and is yelling for me to get out of there. as i come close to the edge i tumble down and down. landing in a huge pile of dirt about 50 feet below. my brother seth is there as are others i don't recognize. they are asking if i am ok. i tell them i am and pull a can of perogies out of my pocket. the can has an easy-lid so i open it and drink the perogies like juice. everyone seems to laugh at this.

the next thing i remember, i am transported to an empty gas station. i am buying it to live in. it is instantly decorated and furnished and people have come over for a 'gas station warming' party. in the center is a small room i blocked off using bookshelves. one of the shelves slides so i can completely immerse myself inside the room. with my books facing towards me. as i am showing the book hide-a-way to chuck and corey, dan pops in and tells me someone invited cadger guttersnipe. i decide to investigate and put a stop to it, but he has already arrived. things quickly escalate and there is a fight in the book hide-a-way. friends quickly break things up and cadger is sent away.

later we are all having a party. a room full of friends listening to music on vinyl. sitting on my black leather couches and a faux bearskin rug. bean bags. light wood paneling. old-timey lamps. the ancient rotary phone on the wrought iron stand rings. someone answers. it's my dad, he's telling me someone has passed. i can't make out what he's saying due to the noise. my uncle? no? he's coming to tell me he has a check.

eventually he arrives and everyone heads to the front office of the gas station. there is a counter there and people fill in on both sides of it. my dad says he had a friend from way back when i was born. also a car salesman, this man put some money into a savings account for me when i was older. how much is it? i think he says $400. that's very nice of him. i have to sign a piece of paper to claim it. that's when i realize it is not $400 but $400,000. everyone cheers loudly. a few friends put their hands down the back of my pants as some kind of prank even though i am sitting on the counter. haha very funny. everyone laughs. i make some sort of statement about how crazy it is to be receiving the money, that i can't believe it's not a dream. most of my dreams when this happens i wake up and am disappointed it wasn't real. oh it's real alright, everyone tells me. then i wake up.

the end?