Wednesday, March 19, 2014

van troubles, band crashers, russian visit


coming home late. in a van full of people. my wife seems to be driving. it's raining and very dark out. the highway is full of cars going too fast for the rain. suddenly the car in front of us swerves and there is a group of children kneeling around a large box full of puppies, directly in our path. everyone screams. i grab the wheel and we fly into the other lane, barely missing the children and the car next to us. we go off the road.

finally it stopped raining. the first light of dawn is starting. everyone is gone. the van is stuck in a field, between two other similar vans. there is a telephone pole nearby and a dirt road behind me. off in the distance are some woods and fields as far as the eye can see. i can't drive the van out, but i am able to move the adjacent van by hand (like superman). which somehow allows me to get out.

now i'm in what appears to be my kitchen, running to the bathroom in tighty whiteys. there is a guy standing in the kitchen, he waves at me. after i come out of the bathroom, i recognize him. he's some dude who i always talked to at the cat, way back when. (alley cat in broad ripple) he's loaded groceries all over the kitchen. every surface. all the floors. he tells me the band is staying here while they record their album. three weeks. what band? some band i don't know, extreme metal. they are called CREEATHON or CREATURRR or CREEATNN or something. i finally realize it's not my kitchen after all. randy blythe walks in, i'm explaining that the band is staying here. he says it's cool, tells me it's his house. apparently i am there to babysit the band and the house.

soon the band shows up. there is a bunch of family with them. kids. wives. aunts. a grandma. i'm going around pointing out the couches to one of the wives. "a place to crash here, a pull-out bed there, this chair folds out..." she's not impressed with the rundown house. kids are running around and screaming already. i'm not so sure about this anymore.

next we leave the house and end up in russia. was the house close to the russian border? i have no idea. now we're sitting in some sort of wooden lookout structure. there are russians everywhere. apparently russia is mounting an offensive. "what's Putin gonna do, come take over the studio?"
i yell. everyone turns and looks at me. maybe he is? i wake up.

the end?

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