Wednesday, February 26, 2014

european castles, stuck in the staircase


we are traveling in europe. seems like germany. the white van is pulled up in front of a castle, at the top of a large cliff. the castle workers come to unload the band gear. i have to poo really bad, so i ask the bearded guy where to go and run down a spiral staircase. after a few minutes, i come to a level section. i find a strange raised hole in the floor near the center. this must be it. so i drop trou and try to rush the process, since anyone could come waltzing around the corner at any minute.

after i'm finished, i head back to the loading area but the van is empty and i can't find my wife. i look everywhere to no avail. so i head down into the valley below. down in the village they are apparently having some sort of festival, except it hasn't opened yet. everything looks medieval, with lots of food and game tents, all closed up. i'm wandering around and it goes on and on. looks like we'll have to come back later to see all this.

i finally find her and now we're taking a tour of the castle. there is a small, very old house inside it on the back side. it's near the top of the castle wall, kind of hanging there. other people taking the tour as well, apparently. we get to a small hall closet and head up a very narrow staircase. we finally get to the top and there is a deck that overlooks the castle courtyard. it's very high up. as more people keep flowing out from the stairs to the deck, we decide to leave before it's too crowded. except the stairs are full of people. i try to wait for them to make a space but i get impatient. i start stuffing myself past them. nobody else can move, but i'm squeezing myself through like a bowel movement. i somehow realize there is a pole in the center (like a firehouse) and it gets easier and i slide to the bottom. i curse everyone for hogging the stairs and creating a fire hazard.

at the bottom of the stairs are 'married with children' stars david faustino and christina applegate.

there seems to be much more but that is all i can recall. the end?

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