.
(MAYBE SPOILERS?) The 1988 remake of The Blob was released the very same week that Appetite for Destruction finally hit number one on the Billboard album charts. Why is that important? It's not, really. But I don't have any recollection of this movie ever coming out in theaters. I didn't realize there was a remake until a few weeks ago. But I knew about Guns N Roses in 1988 and they changed my stupid teenage life forever. Hard to say how things would have turned out if this film had influenced me as much.
Essentially, the Blob is a predatory, gelatinous pink mucus from outer space. It dissolves and absorbs everything using some preternatural acid and manages to kill its victims in a variety of disturbing ways. It doesn't have any form until it decides to have some tentacles or a big mouth or whatever. How does that work? It's from OUTER SPACE, MAN. What we may never know is its original intent. Was it trying to kill everyone or did someone just piss it off accidentally which triggered a rampage? Well this movie says it was created as a biological weapon (not sure about the original). Who knows?
What I do know is as an 80s horror movie The Blob keeps things moving and interesting enough for a cynical old fart to enjoy. I wouldn't consider the movie especially frightening, because it's like watching some spilled pepto bismol grow into the size of a large swimming pool and terrorize an entire town. In the back of my mind, someone just needs to cover it in a bunch sawdust and sweep it into a trash bag like some middle school vomit.
One thing I WAS horrified by is young Kevin Dillon's puffy mullet. The director really dropped the ball not giving his baby face a dirty little mustache to ramp up the creep factor. That being said, the acting in The Blob was just meh. Maybe if they'd gotten a few bigger stars this movie wouldn't have been such a box office tragedy. It allegedly made $8 million on a $10 million budget. Ouch. I felt like the story was well written and the gory death scenes were pretty righteous, but the delivery was a little flat. Two things I would have added: the Blob splits into multiple versions of itself, thereby quickly overcoming the town, and more interrupted teenage makeout sessions. Would have probably done well with a sequel too. 6.5 stretchy exploding faces out of 10.
No comments:
Post a Comment