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Fans of the B-movie schlock-fest that is Jack Frost (not the Michael Keaton Jack Frost) say things like “Get a sense of humor!” and “I love this movie, I watch it over and over!” while failing to admit it has possibly the dumbest premise ever, some of the worst writing and acting caught on film and that they personally may have suffered some sort of brain injury as a child. Seriously, I tried very hard to justify watching this abomination and not even punching myself worked. It could have been funny, but it wasn’t. Watching it was akin to being yelled at while you were in the middle of a painful surgery. Although I forced myself to the bitter end, I was only left with regret. RIP 89 minutes of my life.
Set in the fictional, butthole town of Snowmonton, a serial killer being transported in a prison vehicle ends up in a crash with a truck carrying “genetic research” goo, and he dissolves and becomes part of the snow. But he's not any ordinary snow, his DNA is fused with the snow and he's a powerful snowman murder machine, able to change himself from snow to water to ice blah blah blah. He's like Frosty the Snowman with an axe, but infinitely dumber.
Maybe if I was 13 years old and still then probably not. The bathroom scene was something people hyped up and even it was abysmal. This is the kind of movie you can only watch if you intend on becoming stupid on purpose. The kind of movie that makes you reassess your entire life and how you've wasted it. I feel sorry for the production crew and actors. Ultimately I want my money back. There is also a sequel, which begs the question: is there anything worse than Jack Frost? I am afraid to know the answer. Only because Shannon Elizabeth is in this, I will give it 1 carrot boner out of 10.
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