Thursday, March 14, 2013

Braco's Earth Walker



Had a dream I went to a retreat in the woods. The guest speaker was Braco the gazer, the Croatian healer guy. There was a mess of Grateful Dead chicks and granola bearded dudes everywhere. Braco was taking questions for a while (and speaking English) and I got bored and went to check out the food selection. They had a coffee shop looking counter and wall built into a giant tree. On a blackboard behind was the menu. I’m still deciding and Braco comes around the corner. Apparently they let him go get his food before the masses but I’m already there. I asked him some trivial question and we talked for a minute. Then he ordered his food and I said I would have the same. They served us what looked like a giant earth turd inside a huge dark green leaf. Like an Odwalla bar made out of dirt and roots. Allegedly it was really good for us.

After we ate, he motioned for me to follow him. He walked through the crowd and we passed some weird, pastel polo shirt wearing, preppy dudes. They looked like they just stepped out of an 80’s movie with the feathered hair and the whole bit. A dude saw me and asked “Is that really Peyton Manning?”
“How the f***would I know?” I said. I looked over and saw the back of what looked like Peyton Manning’s head, he was sitting at a table with someone who looked like Eli Manning, munching away on some granola or something.
The preppy guy then says, “What is the deal with this food?”
I replied, “It’s food for hippies, man. I heard they even wear sandals in the summertime, hahaha,” before walking off.

 I followed Braco to some private area, and he told me they had been expecting me. He went on to say that he needed me to be his ‘Earth Walker’ and I needed to spread the healing. But I was also required to sell these wooden tv cabinets that were self-dusting. The self-dusting part only worked if you convinced the buyer they worked, because it was the belief itself that scientifically kept a protective, anti-dust energy field around the wood. This field also prevented rot and mold. I was on my knees in the grass, wiping dust off this cabinet, thinking that I wasn’t going to be able to convince anyone. I couldn’t wait to tell Jeff Martin so he could make fun of me. There was supposed to be more, but someone woke me up. The end?

1 comment:

  1. i am trying to hold the guffaws in this is priceless

    ReplyDelete