Chris Latta (Lavaborne) Interview

Lavaborne will be at State Street Pub Sunday 2/2 along with Omen Stones (Richmond, VA) and Drooler.

I've known Chris Latta for a long time as the soft spoken, literate guy from multiple bands who writes a lot of reviews. Now that he's been singing for Lavaborne for a while, I decided to ask him a few questions.


SJ: Describe Lavaborne for the uninitiated.

Lavaborne is a five-piece metal band from Indianapolis, Indiana. We like to describe our style as ‘power-doom,’ basically a fusion of power metal and doom with some thrash and classic metal tinges. Lots of guitar harmonies and double bass drumming but also dark riffs and baritone vocals.

SJ: How did you guys get together?

The band was founded in January 2017 when I reached out to Brandon Signorino about collaborating in this style. We wrote some songs together and he also helped polish arrangements for some material that I had accrued. We decided to record a demo as a way to recruit other musicians, which was released that fall with me doing vocals and playing bass while he handled the guitars and drum programming. The results weren’t the most professional, but it gave people an idea of what we were doing. From there, our other members Brandon Davis, Freddie Rodriguez, and Max Barber expressed interest and gradually joined. Since they’ve all played in the band Mask of Sanity together for some time, that made it easy for us all to gel and expand even further.

SJ: What's the toughest part of being in a band?

Coordinating schedules. After all, you gotta factor in everybody’s day jobs and other life commitments when arranging practices, recording sessions, and gigs locally and beyond. Fortunately, we plan well enough and find enough flexibility for these situations to not be too much of an issue. It’s just tricky to live in the moment when it feels like all the cool stuff you’re doing is still on the horizon.

SJ: Thematically, what are Lavaborne songs all about?

We’ve used a mix of fantasy, mythology, and religion for our lyrical themes so far. There’s pretty standard metal fare like Vikings and the Antichrist, but I like to think we put these topics under a questioning lens as opposed to playing them straight. You’ll die heroically in battle but did the guy you kill also die heroically? Was Medusa really the monster? What happens when the persecuted becomes the persecutor? Fun stuff like that.

SJ: If you were putting on your own heavy music fest, what would be your dream lineup?

There are a bunch of fests like Mad with Power and Legions of Metal that already have what I would consider dream bills. I tell you my dream headliner would be Candlemass though somebody like Annihilator would also rule. There are also a ton of newer bands like Smoulder, Visigoth, Cauldron, Haunt, Judicator, and Gatekeeper among others that I’d love to share the stage with. I sure wouldn’t say no if The Gates of Slumber were available either 😉.

SJ: Biggest influences on your singing & songwriting in Lavaborne?

Guys like Iced Earth’s Matt Barlow, Nevermore’s Warrel Dane, Blaze Bayley, Visigoth’s Jake Rogers, and Candlemass’ various singers have greatly shaped my vocal approach with Lavaborne. As much as I still want to be Bruce Dickinson when I grow up, the baritone singers in this sort of metal are the ones that made me want to do this ‘my way.’

As far as songwriting goes, I strive for songs that make memorable impressions. It’s always important to have catchy riffs and vocal lines, but it’s even better to have engaging lyrics and thoughtful structures backing them up. I’ve crafted a lot of our songs’ basic structures but having everybody else fill in the arrangements makes them much more complex and exciting than they’d be otherwise.

SJ: What other stuff do you guys have planned for 2020?

We are in the process of recording our debut album now, aiming to get that out sometime this year. We’ve also announced our first set of shows that’ll be happening locally. Once the album is released, we’re aiming to branch out into the greater regional area and beyond.

SJ: When did you first start playing an instrument or singing?

I actually started with piano when I was six or seven; I had lessons for a couple years but didn’t want to stick with it after the teacher I had moved away. I always wish I had in hindsight. I started doing choir in junior high, so it was only natural that I wanted to be a singer when I got into heavier music. From there, I picked up bass when I was about sixteen since I wanted to be taken seriously and had more aptitude for that than guitar. I was a vocalist/bassist in every other serious band I’ve been a part of so being the honest to gods ‘lead singer’ of Lavaborne has been a personal change of pace.

SJ: How would you describe the current state of the Indy underground music scene?

I think the Indy scene is always fluctuating but ultimately stays solid. We have plenty of reliable venues here (Black Circle, State Street, The Mel, Healer, etc.) and there’s always a healthy number of bands active.

As far as actual bands, I can’t speak for the punk or alternative scenes, but I do feel like metal is experiencing some changeovers lately. Bands like Thorr-Axe, Battersea, and my old group Spirit Division split with the musicians involved moving on to new projects. It might just be me getting too dramatic about a new decade, but I think there’s some sort of transition taking place. Either way, it’s always exciting to see what great albums and gigs will come out of it. I’m certainly excited to see how things move forward with the resources we have.

SJ: What advice would you give to aspiring young metal dudes?

You should always know what you want but also have the flexibility to see how someone else’s contributions can improve it.

SJ: Being in multiple bands, a good idea or great idea?

Best idea! All of us in Lavaborne are in or have been in multiple bands. As long as you’re communicating openly and properly coordinating schedules, it’s a great way to express yourself in ways that you might not get to otherwise.


Lavaborne is:
Chris Latta - Vocals
Brandon Davis - Bass
Max Barber - Drums
Brandon Signorino - Guitars
Freddie Rodriguez - Guitars

https://www.facebook.com/Lavaborne/
https://lavaborne.bandcamp.com/releases







 

Erik Larson (Omen Stones) Interview

Omen Stones (Richmond, VA) will be at State Street Pub Sunday 2/2 along with Indy's Lavaborne and Drooler.

Omen Stones drummer & multi-instrumentalist Erik Larson, who has a long history in the underground music scene, agreed to answer a few questions for me.

SJ: How would you describe the Omen Stones sound?


I've been calling what we do a Metal Confluence. We all share a Venn Diagram of 70's Proto Metal, contemporary doom and Death Metal. It's a little bit everything really. Dad Rock.


SJ: How long has Omen Stones been jamming and how did you guys get together?

We've been a band for a very short time. Tommy and I started writing together about 2 years ago, just working ideas out w/out a bassist. Ed joined us about 6 months later, so really the band is less than 2 yrs old. All 3 of us are in other bands and Omen Stones was kinda spawned from a desire to work out some songs that couldn't be used in the other projects, scratch different itches so to speak.


SJ: I know you don't do the social media thing, but I was curious; what's your take on the current state of underground music as it relates to social media?

I do not personally participate in social media, never have, but the band does have a FB page that Tommy moderates for general "Hey we exist" purposes, and we do have a bandcamp page. My personal feelings and choice to remain off of the socials is something that works for me. I've been much happier w/out the distraction. I'm good w/human to human non-electronic interactions, i don't feel like i'm missing anything. I read a lot, I pay attention. As to the second part of your question, it's a multifaceted answer. The socials do do a seemingly good job at networking folks for productive ends w/in the underground music scene, but that seems to be the smaller part of it's daily function. From my vantage, it seems to amplify the darker side of people's negative desires and ambitions, creating disunity and a false narrative of what's important or valued. It's ugly to me.


SJ: How did you get started playing music?

I've always been interested in music from a very young age. I listened to my fathers records in elementary school early on. zeroed in on playing guitar and drums by the time i was 11. Got my first guitar at 9, though i put that instrument down for nearly 15yrs. Started playing in bands when i was newly 12 as a Drummer. I'm still trying to figure both instruments out.

SJ: Would you say you're more into playing guitar or drums?

They're different beasts really. Drums for me are more visceral and immediate. Guitar conveys a more esoteric feeling for me. I get something out of both that is satisfying. These days i've been playing more drums simply because I can't find a drummer to get a band going with my guitar stuff. Drums are kinda my trade instrument at this point. I can sit in and jam on those things better than guitar. I'm self taught on both though, so there's always stuff to learn.

SJ: You've been in a ton of great bands over the years, what advice do you have for musicians getting started?

Main thing i think is you should be enjoying what you do and who you do it with. If it's not fun, it's not gonna last. BTO said it best "Chances are you'll go far, if you get in w/the right bunch of fellows". Having said that, i know plenty of folks who go the solo route and get it done right. Follow your catharsis is what i'd advise.

SJ: What's the craziest thing that ever happened while you were out on tour?

Plenty, as you know Steve, can and does happen. A lot of which i'd prefer not to repeat w/a paper trail. It's hard to narrow down to one thing. I've been robbed by cops, full on brawls against White Power gangs at shows, Tattooed in Squats, Fed by families who didn't share my language or me theirs, Met lots of "Famous" people who were less impressive than "regular" people who just wanted to say hello or thank you for the songs. Really for me there is no "craziest thing", it's all fuckin crazy.  It's a beautiful crazy though, i wouldn't want it any other way.

SJ: Any current releases spinning on your turntable these days?

Well, yes. I don't think i'm gonna win any punk points with my answers though. I go in waves of interests and focuses. I'm constantly listening out for new or old stuff that inspires. Having said that, most recently as far as newer releases, i'm really stoked on

Elbow- Giants of all Sizes

Big Wreck- But for the Sun

Book of Wyrms- Remythologizer

Devil To Pay- Forever, Never Whenever

A good portion of the time i have been padding out and digging into a bunch of jazz stuff. I grew up with my Dad listening to a lot of Mile Davis and Dave Brubeck, Stan Getz, Chuck Mangione, etc. On top of all that stuff, i've been finding my own players and groups that speak to me. Asechiah Bogdan and I do a band together called Vault, and he and I have been writing a full length weekly and after rehearsals, we often find ourselves sitting at my house pulling out my Dad's old records and listening to that stuff as well as what i've been collecting to compliment that collection. It's a whole world of music opening up. Imagine someone who's never listened to Metal before asking you who are the important bands they should start with. It's a vast impossible answer right? Yea, so that's what i've been doing to myself w/Jazz.


SJ: What can you tell me about the Richmond area music scene?

Richmond is a growing city in every way. It's really truly becoming a city now, where as before it always felt like a Little Big Town kinda thing. The population is exploding, and so with that the different perspectives and voicings also grow. Richmond has had a very solid heavy rock scene for the past 20+yrs, of which i've had the pleasure of participating in in various bands. We've also had a good Punk/HC scene for longer that i've also had the good fortune to contribute to. It is a college town, so there is new energy and ideas that inject into the scene on a regular basis. The availability and amount of places to play ebbs and flows though. The main thing about the Richmond scene that I have always loved, is that no one gives a shit that you're in a band. Every mother fucker here is in a band, so nobody cares. What people care about is if you are good. So it forces people to be good or go home. For the most part, "Band Competition" doesn't exist here. Either you're good or you're not. there is no real in between.


SJ: Any favorite venues or shows you've played in the past?

That's another hard one to qualify. A lot of my favorite places to play are gone. A lot of my favorite places to play have nothing to do w/the venue, but rather the folks who run it or show up. I can say i've been lucky enough to hit most of the famous hot spots for better or worse. The biggest one i worked to make happen was getting to play the Clermont Lounge in Atlanta. That happened. it was awesome and i'll probably never get to do it again.  


Omen Stones live:
01/31 Raleigh NC Slims w/ Crystal Spiders, Moryo
02/01 Asheville NC Odditorium
02/02 Indianapolis IN State Street Pub w/ Lavaborne, Drooler
02/03 Louisville KY Highlands Taproom w/ Problem with Dragons
02/04 Cincinnati OH Northside Yacht Club
02/05 Columbus OH Dirty Dungarees w/ Deprecator, False Teeth
02/06 Kent OH The Dome w/ Goosed, Ghost:Hello
02/07 Wilmington DE 1984 Arcade Bar
02/08 Baltimore MD Rituals Bar & Venue w/ Alms, Cavern, Almost Honest
02/09 Richmond VA Fuzzy Cactus w/ Hoboknife, Deathcrown

Omen Stones is:
Ed Fierro – bass
Tommy Hamilton – guitar/vocals
Erik Larson – drums

https://www.facebook.com/OmenStonesVA/
https://omenstones.bandcamp.com/

Devil to Pay - "Tap Dancing on your Grave" music video

Devil to Pay - "Tap Dancing on your Grave" music video

from the album "Forever, Never or Whenever" on the Ripple Music label http://www.ripple-music.com

Filmed by J Rich Media October 2019 at The Inferno Room, Indianapolis, IN.

Edited by S Janiak.

Recorded & Mixed by Mike Bridavsky at Russian Recording, Bloomington IN 2019.
Mastered by T. Dallas Reed at HeavyHead Recording Co.

Devil to Pay is:
Steve Janiak - guitars/vocals
Matt Stokes - bass
Chad Prifogle - drums
Rob Hough - guitars

visit us online at http://www.deviltopay.net
http://www.facebook.com/deviltopay/
https://www.instagram.com/deviltopayband
https://twitter.com/devil_to_pay

growths on my head dream

dream from this morning:

i was living in some flophouse above some hotel. i tried to run my fingers through my hair and realized i just had a massive scar on the side of my skull from brain surgery.

.

i went to scratch my forehead and there was a big growth on the side, the size and shape of a small lightbulb. i decided i needed to see a doctor, even though i had no insurance. i walked down to the hotel and asked if anyone else had noticed this growth on my head. a few said they did but didn't want to mention it or the others. i reached around the back of my head and there was another growth sticking out the back. this one was like a big carrot.

.

i decided the best way to cheaply go to the hospital was to call the cops. while i am freaking out about growths on my head, a lady cop shows up and tells me to put on the handcuffs and follow her. she gets in her car and takes off. she meant follow her car with my old beat up car. as i get in to follow her, feel another growth on the top left of my head, this one looks like a cut sausage. i get on the highway and it's rush hour in los angeles. i find another growth on the top of my head as i realize i lost the cop entirely.

.

finally i wake up

breakdown at the big music fest

dream:

the band is at a big music festival. after some time hanging out with friends and waiting to play, two of the guys are spitting mad. they're saying i wrote disparaging things about them. i ask for proof and somehow a postcard turns up. "it's not even in my handwriting!" i say, but they're not convinced. the postcard said something about not "needing" the band in barely legible script. the guys won't drop it so eventually i get upset, threatening to pack up my shit and go home, just quit the band forever. the argument goes on for a long time. we miss our set up time and although we decide to play, we've pushed past the official start time. our set up takes even longer than normal and the crowd is getting bored. we finally blast through a song with a ton of mistakes because everyone is pissed. we play another and then everyone walks offstage. i'm yelling into the mic. nobody cares. then i woke up.

cartel marriage - bigfoot kidnapping - red hot bum

dream:

i am in an alternate timeline, somehow dealing with a cartel in mexico. one of the bosses introduces me to his 19 year old daughter (who looks like camila cabello) and eventually i find out i'm supposed to marry her so she can become a US citizen. it's awkward because of the language barrier but also the age difference. i go along because, if i don't, they'll probably kill me.

some time later we're living in a big house with multiple sides of her family. there was a ceremony, but i don't remember it. at this point the girl refuses to be in the same room with me. in the beginning she would hold my hand and hang out. now her family is disappointed that she is repulsed by me and i don't even know what to do. at one point she screams she would stay in the house (away from me) but would never "pay any bills!" her brother takes me aside and tells me about an opportunity to teach music theory online, which i assume is a money laundering scheme.

that afternoon jason rich and i go out into the country to shoot a drone video. we spend an inordinate amount of time getting the perfect shots. finally it starts to get dark. we jump in a light brown van and drive down these old country roads. i start to get goosebumps. something seems to jump out of the treeline on the right side of the road. it looks like a gorilla? maybe bigfoot? we stop the van to take a second look and are kidnapped at gunpoint.

now we're driving to who knows where, but we're sure we're going to die. it's dark and the road is bumpy. after a long drive, we come to a stop. we're shoved out of the van and handed over to members of the family cartel. i can't tell if this is a second kidnapping or a prisoner swap.

they untie us and tell us we can go. uncle fezzy is there in his brown van and we jump in with him. some bum walks up to the van wearing a red beanie and asks for change. fezzy says he doesn't have any but the bum spies little boxes of red hots all over the dash. he reaches through the window as we start to pull away. he has a handful of red hots and m&ms and is screaming while hanging off the side of the van. fezzy swerves multiple times until the bum falls off.

then i woke up.

disaster all around dream

insane dream from this morning:

we were on a plane, bound for home. the plane was idling on the runway. the weather was overcast. as soon as the wheels were off the ground i looked out the window to my left. a massive shipping container fell from the sky into a construction tower. the other passengers all screamed. suddenly another plane flew past the window with a shipping container embedded in its wing. the plane had a thick trail of black smoke billowing from behind as it dipped forward and crashed somewhere out of sight.

i thought we in the middle of an earthquake, but that we should be fine since we were already airborne. then our plane started to lose altitude. everyone was panicking. our pilot tried to bring the plane down on a highway, but the buildings were too close together. we came down on the side of a building and some power lines, balanced precariously. in the distance i could see the highway ahead. on one side of it was the ocean, and there were people, cars and other objects along the path. without warning, a mess of power lines or cables were being dragged by some object i couldn't see, and they moved forward with a blinding speed, ripping everything in their path off the road ahead and into the water.

our plane slid down on to the highway and the pilot told everyone he was going to take off using it as the runway. we started to pick up speed and i saw more objects being thrown off the road in the distance. i told my wife to unbuckle her seat belt. she asked me why and i said "no time!" as i unbuckled it for her. the plane instantly was ripped in half by a huge metal cable as it sped along the roadway. we were jettisoned high into the air. i don't remember how or where we landed.

now we're running. there are emergency vehicles everywhere. army vehicles. the emergency crews are unloading people off the plane on stretchers. some people are less injured and are helping others. i am trying to find the front of the plane so i can grab my backpack. i run up and ask some army guys. one of them points to a wrinkled hunk of smoking metal.

we end up in a nearby building trying to find help. part of the building was a hospital with lots of staircases. nurses and patients moving quickly after the disaster. as we're discussing how to get a rental car, i can feel the building shake. screams are heard from all directions. a powerful earthquake shakes the building and it starts to crack the walls and ceilings. i don't know which way to run. then i wake up.




the end?

lost car, parakeets, or mind?

dream:

it's dark outside. i'm at some business. i can't tell if it's a cat shelter or a goodwill type of store or what, but there is a big parking lot that wraps around the entire building. my car (named "Miles") is parked out front. after leaving the business i am back out front, looking for Miles. there is a different car in the spot where i parked. i am walking and walking and can't find it. i'm assuming i left the doors unlocked somehow and someone took it.

after what seems like an eternity, someone yells and points towards the nearby interstate. "hey!" there is a black car off in a ditch with the blinkers on. Miles! i bring the car back to the parking lot and go back inside. i'm recounting the story about how someone had taken my car with the people inside. i finally go to leave and the car is gone again. i am walking around the parking lot again with the key fob pressing the alarm button. nothing. this also goes on for an eternity. eventually i look down and realize i have a key fob i don't recognize, for someone else's car.

at last, my wife shows up. at this point i need to get home to feed the pets. i know we have cats and birds but i can't remember if i have parakeets at home, or if i have fed them. i feel like i need to get home to make sure they're ok. my wife informs me that i can't leave. that i have to stay here now for an undetermined amount of time. she basically doesn't believe me about the car being missing or the parakeets being at home. it occurs to me that i have something wrong with my mind and i am unable to think or speak properly. the rest of the dream drags on with me searching the parking lot forever until i finally wake up.

the end?

pothole turned canyon - musuem - mom on the staircase

dream this morning:

i came back after last night's show. we were living in an apartment with our friend pam. it was on the third floor of a big white house. it was really late and everyone was asleep. i decided to get in the car and drive.

the sun came up. i was heading down an unfamiliar street. the area generally looked like an older industrial zone with wide open lots mixed with old brick factories. i see a pothole in the road and hope to avoid hitting it. as i get closer it looks like the pothole is at least 5 or 6 feet deep. i can see bits of wood and brick in layers in the pothole. my heart rate jumped as i narrowly avoided hitting it. i stop the car 30 feet away and backed up, looking into my rearview camera. the pothole is even bigger now. i get out to take a photo. as i walk around the car the pothole is now an endless canyon off to one side of the road. i see it goes down probably 60 feet. there is a river down below. i see a wooden staircase leading down on the opposite side from where the car sits. i walk halfway down these stairs to a landing. i can see the road above, and what look like ancient roman arches, bricks and wood structures below. this goes off to my left along the river as far as the eye can see. i'm trying to frame the image in my iphone for the photo when suddenly some woman in a red checkered dress is yelling at me.

"you can't take pictures here"
"why not? this is a public space"
"no, it's private property and no pictures are allowed"
"yeah, not really. piss off."

now i can feel people watching me argue with this woman. there are some up along the road and some behind me. when i turn around i'm at the edge of a wide property. there is huge museum about 100 feet away. there is a large concrete courtyard full of people. it's designed with many diagonal lines and some recessed areas with steps. the front of the museum is bright white with unusual, angled windows. suddenly matt stokes is there. we decide to go into the museum, because even though we both were aware of it for years, neither of us have been inside. the tickets cost $25 or maybe $28. i don't want to pay that much but i buy one anyway.

at some point i try to tell someone at the information desk about the woman in the red checkered dress. i tell them she was rude. they ask who it was. i see a red checkered dress and a woman with her back to me behind the counter. i point to her, then she turns around. it turned out to be a completely different woman in a red checkered dress.

then it occurs to me that i should wake my wife and have her come along. she's not answering my texts or phone calls. i go back to the ticket person in the middle of the courtyard. he's wearing white shorts and a white sweater and he looks kind of like ted mcginley from 'married with children'. his hair is all feathered 80s style. i ask him if i have to enter the museum now or if i can just come back later. he asks if i still have my ticket and receipt. i reach in my pockets and pull out both. each one has a nifty little catchphrase printed on it, but i can't remember either one. it was something like "every day above ground is a good day" or "life is what you make it". the ticket and receipt are time stamped and say 4pm. which makes me even more confused because i thought we bought them at 4am. i guess by this point it's more like 8pm.

i told matt i was going to wait to hear from my wife. i'm pretty sure he goes into the museum. a bit later on i'm in my car again. i'm trying to park in the museum parking lot. i see my mom. she is there with a walker and she's following two older ladies. they say they have a parking pass, so i can park in the garage for free. i park the car and follow them to a secret museum entrance. there is a wrought iron spiral staircase, painted bright blue, with a section missing about 10 feet up. the older ladies go up the staircase. when they get to the broken section, they jump up and grab part of the upper stair railing. essentially they do a pull up to get to the next section. i look at my mom and even though she's not very strong she's still going to try to jump it. i climb up the side of the stairs and jump. i grab the upper railing right as she makes a leap for it. she misses but i grab her around the waist. i don't really have a good grip and she starts to slip down out of my grasp. instead she flips upside down. now i'm holding her legs against me as her arms are pointed down towards the concrete floor. i lower her down so she doesn't fall. some people come running to help. i jump down and help her sit up. she says something like "maybe today wasn't a great day for the museum." she says she wants to hit the restrooms before we leave. then she stops at a machine and buys some toilet paper. i assume we have to pay extra for a bathroom ticket. my wife never returns my text or phone call.

then i woke up.

worst music fest kickoff ever

dream from this morning:

there was some kind of music festival. the kickoff event was to be held in a large theater. matt bacon was one of the organizers. i put together a band with a handful of friends and we were supposed to get up and play a Poison song once every hour, with multiple bands playing their one song each until the following hour.

when i arrived for load in, the stage in the theater was obscured behind what looked like a massive house with no roof. there were rooms full of furniture and lighting rigs above the entire construction. turns out it was a reconstruction of a reality show set. the reality show was planning to shoot a bunch of reality tv during the fest.

some of the bands showed up and decided they weren't playing, the rest heard the details and didn't come. chad said he had somewhere to be at 10pm and left. matt bacon blamed the choreographer. the hourly repeating Poison song was supposed to start at 3pm. by 6pm not one single person had walked through the doors for the kickoff event. eventually a few guys got up and played the same RATT song over and over. finally i gave up and left.

the end?

big bear lodge - sad day for kellyanne

dream from this morning:

the band is recording at Slayer's giant log cabin complex deep in the woods somewhere in northern Canada. they tell us each wing of the complex has bears that live in and around it. on the first night, we are all crashed out on the floor and i wake up and think i see a bear, but it turns out to be a black cat. a few minutes later i see a baby bear and it's heading straight for us. then i see what appears to be an 8 foot tall black bear. it lumbers through a doorway and walks over to me and starts to hover over me. i yell something hilarious (but inappropriate) and everyone starts laughing, even the bear. it turns out that stephen colbert is inside.

finally, my wife and i are preparing for a wedding renewal ceremony at the lodge. tons of family and friends and celebrities show up. before the big dinner, kellyanne conway stops me in a hallway and asks me why i won't work for trump. she says she tells him every day how smart and talented i am. i tell her it won't happen. i let her know i have dreams where i stab him through the heart.

a piercing, repeated bird scream pulls me into the real world. the end.

parking infraction - baby parakeets

dream:

my wife and i were handcuffed together for a parking infraction. apparently someone got upset with the judge so we had to be tossed in the jail together. we were getting out of the jail but had to go back in front of the judge to get the handcuffs removed. there was much consternation during the walk to the courthouse.

later we are at home, but it's a different home, a small cottage deep in the woods somewhere. i look inside the parakeet cage and see tiny, fully formed babies at the bottom. i'm trying to ask my wife if she bought a new parakeet and stuck it in the cage without telling me. the babies are all the size of a thumbnail. she admits she saw this cute bird at the store and brought it home. i can't believe how cute they are and it occurs to me that it's probably a dream.

i wake up in some big bed with white sheets and am sad there are no baby parakeets. i go back into the living room and there are the baby parakeets! on the bottom of the cage are several large eggs in various pastel colors. the parakeets are also pastel colors, baby blue and yellow and purple. they have great big eyes and heads compared to their tiny bodies. they are so small one of them gets through the bars of the cage. it's the purple one. he's flitting around and i can't catch him. he flies from one side of the room to the kitchen and back. i almost get him a couple times. she tells me not to worry about him and let him fly around.

then i woke up (for real)

skipped classes - stuck truck - senior administration official

dream this morning:

it occurs to me that it's the end of the semester and i skipped every single class. my english teacher likes me and thinks i'm funny so he will pass me. my math teacher barely remembers me. i told him i should just fail and take the class again but he has a better idea. if i sign this waiver and give him my 'parting gift' from the school (of which i know nothing) then he will pass me with a C. oh yeah, i also have to take this little baby. so i'm sitting at a Dennys holding this baby and people are asking so many questions. "i just don't know," i say.

flash forward, we are on tour. we have to get back up north from our run down south. heading to ohio or washington dc maybe, i can't remember. we are in a small white pickup truck. oddly, we have zero gear or luggage. the traffic up ahead begins to slow on this two lane highway. there is a body of water on the right side and a dense row of trees on the left. as we drive we see massive rectangular holes in our lane, about 20 feet deep. the highway has washed out in huge sections and the work crews are trying to repair them. i look down and can see other cars at the bottom of these holes. we are all craning our necks to see what's going on. suddenly the back tire slides off the road and the entire truck flips over. we roll down into the earth.

the work crews come make sure we are ok and direct us to a fancy hotel. it's going to be a while to get our truck out. "we have a show!" yeah, buddy, sure you do.

eventually we are at the hotel bar and i find out trump and his entourage is there. secret service lets him know that i am there and they send someone to talk to me. basically, as he knows all his critics (he keeps a book) he knows me AND hates my guts. BUT if i stop bashing him online they will offer me $400,000 and a senior level administration position. "offer accepted."

at first i thought they said my job title was "administrative director" or something, but i can't recall exactly. i'm asking and no one is telling me. "just sign the forms" they say. finally i find a phone and my name is on one of the speed dial buttons, but instead of a title, it just says STEVE JANIAK - $$$. an older lady from the administration comes in. i don't recognize her. she grills me about doing what's right for the country and then tells me it's my job to approve purchases for general stuff. i have no idea what that means. eventually she warns me about messing up and leaves.

now it's getting late and we still don't have our truck. thinking we can still make the show if we play really late, i walk out to find the workers. there are none anywhere near where our truck is stuck. i walk to the opposite side of the hotel and there are two workers finishing up. they have a funny car or drag racer looking thing held up on a crane. there is a guy inside it. i can hear one of the workers as i approach. "you shoulda seen your face after the wreck, bud. it was swoled up like a tomater!" "yeah" the guy says back. i can see the funny car was actually towing a trailer. but it was the shape of a cross. there's a guy strapped to that cross. i can't tell if he's alive but he's all black and blue with bruises. the workers finish moving this vehicle and start to leave.

"hey! my truck is in a hole down the road. we need to get it out and get to our show." "sorry, we're done here. there are other guys down there" "no, they all left, we need help" "can't. going home."

at this point i let them know that president trump is coming and he's going to raise some hell. they look at each other and laugh. right at that moment, the presidential limo pulls up. trump rolls down his window and points at them. they start freaking out.

 then i woke up.