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tonight's feature: The Visitor (1979) on Shudder
If you looked at the original 1979 movie poster for The Visitor, you might think this movie is about a giant angry eyeball from space with some goblin claws and a bloody garrote, here to slowly kill all humans for some sinister alien reason. You'd be dead wrong though, because this heap of cinema dung is scraping the bottom of the barrel for a premise. Apparently someone thought "hey, Star Wars is popular! What if we cross that with The Exorcist?" but in reality they ended up with an intergalactic Rosemary's Baby meets the most annoying Omen with a bunch of scenes from The Birds thrown in for shits and giggles.
Featuring some of the most abysmal special effects ever put to film, The Visitor has a nonsense script to match, where a cabal of Satanists are pushing the mother of an 8 year old girl named Katy (who is the embodiment of pure evil) to have yet another baby so they can mate the two together to make a 'super Satan'. Katy has a pet hawk named Squeaky who will fly in your car and scratch your damn eyes out. There is an old guy from another planet who shows up to stop this entire thing who reminds me of an Obi Wan Kenobi without the wisdom or lightsaber or any emotions whatsoever.
Anyway, things are way too dumb to describe here in detail but let's just say your mileage may vary if someone tries to call this a cult film. 2 deadly wheelchair lifts out of 10.
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