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tonight's feature: Hellraiser (2022) on Hulu
(SPOILERS?) Hellraiser 2022 (Electric Boogaloo) is clearly a divisive reboot. Any time you're messing with a legendary horror franchise and injecting new blood into it, some core fans are invariably going to cry foul. With that out of the way, I thought it was pretty skin-stretching great. Great to see some familiar faces: sexy lady pinhead (original pinhead's daughter?), lipless teeth chattering guy, the goatse dude (jk), and the rest of the ripped skin torture crew of unearthly cenobites, just a face guy, trying to breathe lady, caught in the wires girl, etc. I really don't have any major gripes, and that's a big win in my book.
But if I had the writer or director's ear, I might ask a few important questions. Firstly, why do cenobites walk so slowly? If you're moving faster than a trot you apparently can just outrun them? Also, I don't remember a whole lot of negotiation going on about who's going to get ripped to shreds in the early films? That seems to be a feature of this reboot, "Wait! I changed my mind! No, this guy!" Lastly, this main character gets to choose a gift at the end and she's all "Nah I see what kind of gifts you give, I want nothing" and they're like "Oh then you have chosen to be sad for a long time." What? Is that supposed to be scary? Depression and regret?
Anyway, as a casual fan I did enjoy the HELL out of this Hellraiser reboot. I especially like the idea that if you're rich enough you can build a cage for these extra-dimensional torture demons. Just don't ever ask them for anything and leave that knife poking puzzle box alone. 8 flaps of skin cut up to make a pair of endless pain overalls out of 10.
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