.
tonight's feature: Night Skies (2007) on Prime
(SPOILER ALERT!) A ridiculously well lit RV full of vegas-bound, annoying young people get distracted by a massive ufo sighting on the backroads of Arizona. They crash into some wacky Iraq vet named Richard's truck on the side of the road. One friend trips in the crash and gets a giant knife in his back. They quickly forget about the ufos and try to find help for knife guy, as they get stalked by some of the cheapest spirit halloween aliens I've seen in a minute. Knife guy dies, annoying Matt gets shot by wacky Richard, Molly gets sucked up into the ufo, aliens peep in the windows of the RV and get on the roof and jump around. June gets snatched through the back window. The aliens blow the remaining windows out as pregnant Lilly runs off into the woods while the worst possible soundtrack plays.
Richard finds his gun and follows Lilly to a little cabin. They barricade the door of the cabin and get briefly sentimental before the aliens walk on the roof again to be intimidating. Explosions blow all the wood planks off the windows and 3 or 4 low-budget chittering aliens walk in the cabin like they can't see shit. Richard shoots one and gets dragged off by another. Lilly grabs the gun and heads out into the woods. A green light from the sky rips the cabin to shreds as Lilly runs off and I start to hope it's over. Instead, she trips and gets caught in some barbed wire. The aliens show up and grab her feet before she can reach the dropped gun.
Suddenly we're inside some cobwebs of snot and mucus, an oozing, drippy-intestines looking room where Richard is covered in a family serving of eggs, spaghetti and parmesan cheese. He finally breaks out of his omelette prison and crawls, sweaty and naked, through a silly string net covered in slime. He finds a shoe, a flashlight and a revolver before spotting some aliens doing something very slimy and vaguely medical-looking to Lilly inside another large intestine sort of room. They feed her some nasty gloop and then expose her stomach, poke into her innards using their alien franken-fingers before randomly wandering off. Richard walks up and can't speak as she says "They took my baby." It turns out the revolver has one bullet left. Lilly sees it and says "please do it" and before you can ask "shoot the aliens?" Richard cocks the gun and shoots her in the head. The aliens show up and put Richard in a slimy hellraiser mucus bondage trap. They dissolve his skin and pull out his heart for a second, and then shove some snake looking mess of tentacles up his nostrils. They flip him over and shove some fluids up into his back as he vomits blood.
In the next scene, a park ranger shows up and finds Richard's body mostly covered in sand. Thinking he's dead, he calls it in, but he's shocked as Richard wakes up and the movie ends. Some text on the screen says Richard's body was found 100 miles from where his truck was located, almost a week after the 'Phoenix Lights' 1997 UFO event. Then it goes on about Richard being in a semi-catatonic state for a year, and how he had strange DNA on his body and clothes and they never found the RV or any bodies, and John McCain contacted the US Air Force demanding answers but the case was closed with no resolution, blah blah blah, movie was bad, blah.
Night Skies was petrified dook. It probably seemed like a good idea at the time, IN THEORY. Maybe the worst alien movie I've ever seen. 3 tendrils of tentacles shooting up your nostrils out of 10.
No comments:
Post a Comment