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What can I say about Gremlins? I saw it as a 12 year old and loved the shit out of it. I watched it again as an old curmudgeon and I still loved it, but I have questions. Like, why don't I remember these Gremlins being so murderous? Why is Kate pouring them drinks and lighting their cigarettes? How did Gizmo drive that pink toy car with the little steering wheel and gas pedal? Why is Gizmo's nose so damn runny? Should Rand Peltzer be held criminially liable for the Gremlin murders? Who created the Mogwai and what in the hot spice was wrong with them? Are they a Chinese bio-weapon? On those last two questions we may actually get an answer, since HBOMax has a new cartoon series in the works, Gremlins: Secrets of the Mogwai coming in 2022. But Seriously, is Randall Peltzer the worst dad of all time? He can barely provide for his family, he misses Christmas, none of his inventions work for shit. GET IT TOGETHER, MAN.
The real star of the movie, or I should say the 'victim', was Gizmo. Just minding his own business in a small, wooden box in a tiny, dark corner of a shop in Chinatown. Meets a new family, watches TV and hangs out. Then BOOM, Corey Feldman is spilling water on his back. I actually just want to see a series where nothing bad happens, it's just Billy and Gizmo, playing songs on his Casio keyboard and singing, starting a new Youtube channel and becoming viral billionaires. But no, we have to have an entire town of chain-smoking, murderous Gremlins, laughing and tearing people limb from limb, only to take a break to watch Snow White at the movie theater. Totally unfair to Gizmo to drag him into all that mess.
I can't even remember what happens in Gremlins 2 and I'm a little afraid to watch it again. As the old man said, "With the Mogwai comes great responsibility," and I'm definitely not ready. 8 Gremlins playing poker out of 10.
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