dosed by duff mckagan - mc hammer humpty dumpty

dream this morning:

i was driving over a huge, elevated interstate. it was dangerously steep. it's night time. i can hear police chatter about drunk drivers on my police radio. i'm not drunk but i'm afraid they'll pull me over. it's taking forever to get over this thing, like hours.

next it's daylight. i stop to visit my friend jason, uninvited. its not his house in real life, but it has lots of small, square windows. there are 30 family members there, including little kids, all giving me a dirty look. his wife is pissed that i showed up. he comes downstairs from taking a shit and says i have to leave.

i'm not sure of the time frame but around this point of the dream i was in some sort of boys school. it's a giant room with no lights or windows or features besides some tables with bench seats. the walls are metal and gray. everyone is wearing gray sweats. a bigger, italian kid with black curly hair starts messing with me. he's the school bully. all the other kids are watching to see what i do. he's pushing my arm, then pushing my back. i hold my ground. he starts feigning a face slap.

"what are you gonna do?" he slaps me, not too hard. i won't retaliate. some elder person comes in the room and it stops for a while. finally when it starts back up, i pull up my shirt and show this bully my herniated abdomen. "take a look" i say. "i'm on medication. if i start bleeding, i'll bleed right out and you'll be charged with murder." at that point he is disappointed and stops harassing me.

now i'm at a party. it's douchey comedian bill bellamy's house. for some reason in this dream he is gay and has a boyfriend named mario trubiano, who is also a famous actor. parts of the house are dilapidated. they are renting out the house as an airbnb and someone rented it for this party. the main living room and kitchen are normal. the living room has white carpet, white walls and white couches with black pillows. there is a white brick fireplace. celebrities are hanging out in the living room. i am standing in the kitchen, which is covered in white tiles. i'm standing behind a island counter, there are drinks everywhere. i'm wearing some sort of burqa type thing that leaves only my eyes exposed.

duff mckagan walks in. he doesn't know who i am but i am pretending we are friends. after a stare-down and asking who i was for 10 minutes, he starts to get annoyed. at first he wants to fight, but then he calms down when i show him my full face. he grabs my left hand and puts a giant tab of acid on it.
 "this should do it"
"uh, i have to drive home, no thanks"
"well this is so potent, it will go right through your skin"
i start to panic a little bit, and immediately i am tripping hard. there goes driving home, i think to myself.

several actresses walk in the room, dressed up in nightclub wear. they are famous but i can't recognize them. they are all pulling small radio flyer wagons filled with big stacks of their tell-all books. looks like they're trying to get rid of these at the party.

i follow duff into another room of the house. it's a big open space with giant, dark blue metal beams holding up a stained glass ceiling. the room is musty and dank. one picture window is completely gone and the wood rotted out around it. there is a loft up to one side, covered in cobblestones, but when i climb up, i can see it was once a music studio. now it's just piled up with junk and old furniture. below this, duff is rummaging around the bar area. there is an old game system, like an atari or intellivision, with a stack of video games in special collector cases, all marked with a comics style grading system. i'm telling duff how GNR changed my entire childhood and how much they ruled, then how much i thought they became a joke later on.

suddenly there is a commotion from up near the glass ceiling. mc hammer is up there near the top of the rafters, wearing a blue and purple striped suit. he is on something and carrying on. i see something flying through the air past my face. "bats!" i point as duff looks and agrees. this bat flies up and then there are about 30 bats all flying up to their nests. mc hammer sees them and loses his balance. he falls about 50 feet and breaks into several pieces. everyone laughs. i run over and pick up the pieces and set them back up like he is a real person before the police arrive. everyone keeps laughing about it. his head rolls back and falls on the floor.

that's all i can remember before i woke up