british secret service job - guitar museum - nerd up - medusa head chop

dream:

it was my first day on the job working for the british version of the secret service. i was in charge of keeping the royal family's secrets safe. there was a big get-together of employees on this day and my new boss told everyone that i was going to give a demonstration on the hi-tech security features of the computer-based surveillance system in buckingham palace. except i had no idea what he was talking about. so i stood there, with a crowd of my peers and a small audience of visitors trying to figure out how to log-in to the system. there was no mouse or keyboard on this screen. just me pressing it with my fingers in different spots for about 10 minutes. i start asking people if they had any idea. finally someone came up and showed me how to get in the system and then i navigated the rest like a pro.

later the scene changed. i was in a large, round room, probably 200 feet wide, with many collectible guitars. the walls were shades of deep blues (!). it felt like a guitar museum. some local guitar playing friends showed up. we shot the shit for a while and then went to look at all the guitars i had ever owned. except my black SG was missing. in it's place was a mock-up fake guitar someone had crafted, with no strings and a giant 3 foot wide headstock. immediately i thought i knew who did it. so i went down some tunnels and found this ninja kid, in the middle of perpetrating some other hijinks. i went after him, there was a chase, there was karate fighting, and finally i beat him unconscious with a stick.


fade to another scene, i am at a big swanky NYC party. i have a brown sweater vest on with a dressy nerd shirt and tie on. my hair is cropped just below my chin and my beard is trimmed very short. tina fey walks up and says "you look almost presentable when you NERD UP." she goes on to say disparaging things about my previous look, formerly unkempt beard and general lack of style.

further along in the dream, i return to the deep blues guitar museum. i'm working security with a giant sword. a hideous, bright orange (with white snakes as dreads) medusa breaks in and i am forced to chop off its head. i can't figure out what to do with the head so i go ask the head of security. he is a heavy set african american gentleman who leaves his 'big booty' magazines lying around the break room. they all feature extremely pornographic images of ladies with 'enhance posteriors' in compromising positions. anyways, he tells me to throw the medusa head into a garbage can in one of the rooms. i open said garbage can and there are already other medusa heads in there.

i can't remember the rest.


the end?