whiskey is the drink of choice for bodyguards

this morning's grand dream(s)

i was watching a tv show. it was a weird "desperate housewives" type of drama about 4 sex crazed neighbors (three ladies and a guy, all married) who got their rocks off watching each other masturbate. of course i wasn't aware of this at first. the guy was basically stalking and using  binoculars and ended up outside a window or sneaking on the house while his neighbor had her private time. eventually each neighbor somehow got involved and caught each other but instead of surprise or outrage, they laughed and crawled under the blankets together. "seems a bit racy for prime-time" i said to myself.

next i'm in a wood paneled series of rooms before a big party. it feels like the 1960s but the decor and clothing look more like the 1930s. i'm being led around and shown all the art and posters on the walls by my hostess and apparently new best friend (we'll call her Maude) who looks like an even more curvy and voluptuous marilyn monroe. she's wearing a sparkly evening gown with a long jacket over the top, with puffs of fur around the sleeves and neck. i'm excited to be at the party and amazed at the cool statues and old timey furniture but i feel underdressed because i'm from the future. she assures me this is not a problem and laughs as the guests begin to arrive.

guests roll in, celebrity after celebrity, camera flashes going off and posing for pictures, except i have no idea who these people are. all of them are introduced to me by maude. they seem to be interested in asking me about the future but maude keeps dragging me away to meet another one. after a while i realize some of the guests aren't celebrities or press but actual old school gangsters. they have a different look. they're all chain smoking and they all have the same type of hat.

eventually the party kicks into high gear and the main doors appear and are opened. there is a large ballroom with two floors, the upper floor with stairs leading up on each side, everything is stained wood. there are people everywhere, drinking and smoking and looking like dick tracy or betty boop. music seems to be playing and it sounds oldey timey. i think people are dancing downstairs.

maude leads me over to meet her 'man', who looks like another older gangster and who is appropriately named Don. don welcomes me and we clink our drinks together.

eventually i make my way over to a crowded corner of the upstairs. there are stacks and stacks of old comics and magazines, everything in near mint condition. old toys, action figures, an amazing array of incredible items and my eyes go wide. when i say old, i mean brand new, because i'm somewhere in the past. i tell don he should let me take some of these to the future to sell them, but he says "if it were only that easy". then i saw a signed comic by an r. crumb type of artist. when i inquire, i am told the r. crumb artist is actually there at the party and promoting his new line of comics. i want to get a signed copy but i need some air. so i head outside.

out behind the building i realize we are on the end of a wharf. there is a parking garage attached to the side opposite the water. part of the ballroom upper floor includes a deck over the water. i see a row of limos and some gangsters standing around and end up in a conversation with one. eventually he says, "whiskey?"
"sure", i say, as he pours me a glass full.
"whiskey is the drink of choice for bodyguards." he says before downing his glass. the others start to chuckle. somehow i realize by bodyguards he meant assassins and i take my drink down in big gulps.

they get caught up in a conversation and i walk towards the water, i see a dark shape moving towards the men. as it gets closer to the surface i can see it's a man in scuba gear with a harpoon gun. before i can alert the gangsters he shoots one of them with the harpoon and they return some bullets. but it all ends as a big net drops down and wraps him up.

now people are yelling and running. i can't see any cops but i know the party was busted. i'm running back in to find maude and don but i wake up.

i know there was a lot more to the dream but this was all i scribbled in the notebook.

the end?