old blog myspace blogs pt 2

this one is actually halfway interesting.


Jan 18, 2005
Stolen Car blog (or the mighty INTUITION Pwns All)


My friend Erin came over last night and fell asleep watching a movie. I sat up on the puter all night and at about 8am I woke her up and asked if she'd run me by my bank deposit box downtown on the circle. She asked me to warm up her car, and I went out and pulled it directly in front of the house, turned the heat all the way up, and left the door unlocked. Keep in mind, where I live is like a sweet smelling flower growing out of a pile of rancid manure, a great neighborhood poking out of a ghetto parka. Except that Chris had his window busted out (for the stereo) just months ago on the street out front... as well as another car being broken into (for some cds) that belonged to a friend of Andrew around the same time. Besides that, it was 10 fucking degrees outside.

I came inside and we chatted for about 5 minutes, I looked outside to check on the car no less than 3 times. Then we went downstairs and she ran to the bathroom. Everyone was up, as some guys had shown up early to pour concrete in the basement. When we walked outside, the car was gone. All in the span of about 8 or 9 minutes. She called the cops, and I took a quick lap around the area through the alleys to see if I could spot it. Nothing. The police came over and took a report. The cop said they already had 7 reported stolen already by that time this morning. I asked him if we should drive around and look for it, and what we should do if we spotted it. If you see it, call 911 and tell them you saw it and where, and notice if anyone's driving it and get a description.

Well, she called the insurance company and her son, and I told her "Let's go fucking find it." So we left. No coffee, no food, nothing but car searching on our minds.

We took off down 10th street going east, and it finally set in that her car was gone. She started worrying a bit and I felt like total crap that it was in front of our house. That I didn't watch it closer. That I knew better. I was looking up and down all the side streets, thinking in my mind where a crackhead would end up taking this car. I turned around at Linwood station and drove west back to Rural and went north. I kept saying "I believe in my intuition. I've always believed if you listen to it, it will lead you where you want to go" and swore we were going to find the car. Even if we didn't find it, I was sure the cops would find it eventually. I knew that she had good insurance, so that wasn't such a worry. We drove around in my truck and rambled about everything, how far away it could've been, why they took a 95 ford escort wagon, what possible things in the car could he pawn? Pawnshops. I headed to 38th street and turned east, then eventually turned around and headed west again. I was looking around the entire time, and Erin wanted to go get some coffee, but I was insistent that we keep driving and looking. By the time we got to Michigan road, and was recounting the time those bruthas stole my car stereo back in college, right in front of my house (I came out too late to do anything about it), we started heading south, making more phone calls.

Eventually, I decided to finally run my errand and go downtown to deposit my unemployment check (the whole reason I was getting her up in the first place) so I took Meridian down from Fall Creek. At this point, I was having doubts about my intuition, but not completely. We took New York street back towards my house from downtown. I theorized that it had to be a male perpetrator, because I imagined there had to be significantly less female car thieves out in the world, and he was probably just milling around till the gas tank ran empty. Too bad the tank was full. Fak. We decided that she should go home and wait for the cops to call at her place, but needed to grab that stupid "Eternal Sunshine for the Spotless Mind" movie first.

For some reason, while we were talking, instead of turning north to go home, I turned south onto Rural, at this point, not even thinking where I was going. I was rambling about karma, and how I started to doubt that it really existed as two halves of the same whole. I drove down to Washington street and headed west. In my heart of hearts I had decided that we didn't have it in us to search every street in the city. I mentioned something about getting food cause I hadn't eaten in 24 hours and we passed El Sol, a fine Mexican restaurant. On the next block, at the Village Pantry, sat her fucking car.

There were two teenage girls in it, one black, one white. The car was backed into a spot with its ass end facing the store. I said "There's a ford wagon" and pulled into the lot. I took a good look and was convinced it wasn't her car, because the silly crap hanging from the rearview mirror didn't look the same for some reason, but the girls gave us a confused-turned-to-scared-shitless look, because we pulled up so slow. They had been talking to some bum in a green sock hat and pulled away as Erin said "I think that might be my car! follow em!"

So I did, at which point I noticed the plate, and I remembered it had an "R" in it, (only cause the initial cop got the plate number from her social security number). That was key one. Then there was the Callahan ford sticker, and I asked if that's where she bought it. "Yes, YES! THAT'S MY CAR!" then the girls started slowing down a bit and hitting the break, and I noticed the right taillight was out. "Do you have a taillight out?" She replied, "John told me it was out last week! THAT IS MY FUCKING CAR!"

So I dialed 911 on my cell phone and tried to talk to the lady until it was apparent that the adrenaline, driving, and trying to figure out where the fuck we were wasn't working, so i handed over the phone to Erin. The girls turned south onto State, then west onto Southwestern, eventually turning left again onto Summit. The street was covered in ice and snow, and I thought I lost 'em after they turned right again, the entire time she's on the phone giving this impatient bitch some haphazard directions to where we were. I turned right to follow and slowed down and looked, and they had taken the next alley, so I went down it after them, but they had gained 50 yards on us. They went right again up in the distance, and by the time I came around the corner, there sat the car, running, doors open, fucking hip hop blaring. I jumped out and caught the last glimmer of two teenage girls running around the corner with her bag.

They ended up tossing the bag, and the cops eventually found it after they showed up. Lucky they did show up because the lady on the phone was getting really testy. After a few minutes it sank in, and Erin screamed out loud cause we found the car. WHAT HAPPENED? WHATS GOING ON? Erin apologized and handed the phone to me so I could tell her where we were. Then she started asking me all kinds of questions
WHAT WERE THEY WEARING?
I dunno, really, something pink?
"SIR, WHAT DIRECTION DID THE GIRLS RUN?"
"shit, i dunno, down Summit? it's a one way..."
"SIR WHAT DIRECTION DID THE GIRLS RUN?"
"FUCK, I dunno I'm trying to get my bearings here, ... sun rises in the east, sun on left, oh... south, they ran south ma'am."

Please note that I wasn't about to run my fat ass ragged to chase two teenage girls. I was so in shock when I turned the car off and took the keys out it didn't even hit me until my heart rate went down that I was a fucking tubby rock and roll detective.

Eventually, another cop showed up and processed the crime scene while we stood around. A serious looking guy with a tackle box full of CSI shit took prints off the leftover Dorito bag, the pink pen cap, and wherever the girls might have touched.

Then they told us we could take the car.

One cop said I should join the force. He commented that was most probably the fastest anyone's ever found a stolen car, much less a civilian. The case number hadn't even entered the system all the way. I'll bet they say that to all the dudes.

I am certain they live next door to us in the apartments over here, it's too cold to be sitting around where you don't live just to steal cars for a fucking ride on your Martin Luther King JR day off of school.

So yeah, ramble ramble, exactly 2 hours after the car was stolen, we found it.

And I couldn't help but feel even more convinced that intuition means something more than I ever thought possible. Maybe there is something to that karma thing after all?

No, probably not.

Get this: Since they ransacked everything in her car, Erin went to clean it out later. On the floor of the drivers left side, she found a court date appointment card with a name on it, it read:

MARION COUNTY JUVENILE COURT
TO APPEAR: [name withheld]
COURT DATE: APRIL 9TH
TIME: 8am
JUDGE: [name withheld]

So, remember kids, if you're going to steal a car, and have a prior criminal record, don't leave your fucking Doritos or court appointment card in the fucking car.