Dream:
not sure how but corey, chuck and i (and some unknown other guy) ended up in prison together, sharing a cell. it feels like it was drug related. i wanna say we only had to serve a year and a half. the warden had heard that i had written a funny song about some big rappers who bungled a drug deal and he said i could sing it to the entire prison population. except i hadn't practiced and i forgot how it went. in most dreams i have anxiety about performing but never dream about the performance. in this dream i was in front of a huge courtyard of felons and since i couldn't remember the song, i decided to wing it and improv the entire thing, and it was terrible. three or four minutes of me fudging around on an acoustic guitar. the crowd seemed agitated. eventually i stopped playing and said "well, i forgot how the song went, but the story was... blah blah blah" and everyone laughed.
later, one of the guards said he would help get me out of the prison if i helped him with a secret project. he let me out of our cell one night and while we were walking in the prison halls he told me to wait there and he left. within minutes i had 35 rifles pointed at my face and he had to talk the other guards down. eventually he brought me an old dusty box and asked me to sort through it for anything valuable. i agreed and we dragged this giant cardboard box into our cell so i could start. pretty soon i realized that the box had weird trinkets and mementos from my childhood home, including check stubs and important documents with my parents signatures, some toys and notepads and other items that once belonged to me. confused, i started to get angry but suddenly remembered one instance during college while clearing out the basement when some strangers came and asked for any boxes to be donated to the local prison.
"they must have taken a box with stuff in it" i surmised.
then i woke up
a random collection of whatever from beyond the cosmic horizon; the psychic adventures of a rambling, gambling, heavy metal beatnik.
Thursday, April 20, 2023
Thursday, December 1, 2022
Movie Review: The Invitation (2015)
Halloween day 32!
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tonight's feature: The Invitation (2015) on Shudder
Some movies are such a slow burn they simply don't work. Some slow burns are too slow for a lot of people. The Invitation is a slow burn that hit me at just the right time. Because once it hits, it's like going from 10 miles an hour to 100 miles an hour straight into a brick wall, which could be good or bad, depending on the writing.
Will and Kira are headed to a dinner party at the home of his ex-wife, Eden (well, also his ex-home). A lot of old friends are there along with Eden's new husband David and a few of David's odd new friends. Will keeps getting weird vibes even though David says to just be cool. They start playing some suggestive word games and one friend decides she's had enough and leaves. Dinner is served and things seem fine but something is bothering Will. Despite finding out slowly that Will and Eden lost a child a few years ago, you find out that David is into some very weird hippy new age religious sort of shit. The group starts to wonder if David is trying to sell it like some Amway but he laughs it off. Will gets more and more suspicious to the point that he embarrasses himself. Eventually though, he was right all along and something very, very bad is about to go down.
The Invitation probably won't be for everyone, but if you've got a little patience for character building and backstory... and love a serious horror payoff, this flick will hit the spot. 9 glasses of red wine out of 10.
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tonight's feature: The Invitation (2015) on Shudder
Some movies are such a slow burn they simply don't work. Some slow burns are too slow for a lot of people. The Invitation is a slow burn that hit me at just the right time. Because once it hits, it's like going from 10 miles an hour to 100 miles an hour straight into a brick wall, which could be good or bad, depending on the writing.
Will and Kira are headed to a dinner party at the home of his ex-wife, Eden (well, also his ex-home). A lot of old friends are there along with Eden's new husband David and a few of David's odd new friends. Will keeps getting weird vibes even though David says to just be cool. They start playing some suggestive word games and one friend decides she's had enough and leaves. Dinner is served and things seem fine but something is bothering Will. Despite finding out slowly that Will and Eden lost a child a few years ago, you find out that David is into some very weird hippy new age religious sort of shit. The group starts to wonder if David is trying to sell it like some Amway but he laughs it off. Will gets more and more suspicious to the point that he embarrasses himself. Eventually though, he was right all along and something very, very bad is about to go down.
The Invitation probably won't be for everyone, but if you've got a little patience for character building and backstory... and love a serious horror payoff, this flick will hit the spot. 9 glasses of red wine out of 10.
Tuesday, November 15, 2022
Movie Review: Nightbreed Director's Cut (1990)
Halloween day 16!
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tonight's feature: Nightbreed (1990) on Shudder
I don't quite understand the love for this movie. Sure there are a lot of weird and cool characters, some great makeup and effects, and a robust bizarre premise, but the plot feels like it was determined by a roll of a 20 sided die. A little bit of "what the hell?" mixed with some "ok then." I had a hard time rooting for team monster and the "bad guys" were so buffoonish I could barely watch. Maybe if it was still 1990 and I was stuck in a dark theater I would have liked it better, but I doubt it. Something felt off to me, and while stylistically it was cool, I thought the whole thing ended up as a big letdown. My bad. 5 secret monster cities underneath a graveyard in the middle of nowhere out of 10.
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tonight's feature: Nightbreed (1990) on Shudder
I don't quite understand the love for this movie. Sure there are a lot of weird and cool characters, some great makeup and effects, and a robust bizarre premise, but the plot feels like it was determined by a roll of a 20 sided die. A little bit of "what the hell?" mixed with some "ok then." I had a hard time rooting for team monster and the "bad guys" were so buffoonish I could barely watch. Maybe if it was still 1990 and I was stuck in a dark theater I would have liked it better, but I doubt it. Something felt off to me, and while stylistically it was cool, I thought the whole thing ended up as a big letdown. My bad. 5 secret monster cities underneath a graveyard in the middle of nowhere out of 10.
Monday, November 14, 2022
Miniseries review: Stephen King's The Shining (1997)
Halloween day 15!
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tonight's feature: Stephen King's The Shining (1997 miniseries)
First off, Kubrick's version is a masterpiece. I know it doesn't stick close to the book, that's ok. Probably better than ok because this 1997 miniseries forced all the book into 273 minutes and it's chock full of unnecessary fluff and backstory. This version is only for the Stephen King completist: you get what you missed in the first movie, but also a watered down tv version that is less than scary. In fact, the only thing scary about it is how they can make such an annoying and drawn out version last for 3 full episodes. The kid actor was also annoying. Everyone in 1997 wearing those same Levis jeans is pretty annoying too. Did I mention most of the action takes place during the daytime? That seems even less frightening. If it wasn't The Shining I would have turned it off 30 minutes in. Bonus points for being filmed at the actual Stanley Hotel. 4 over-sized croquet mallets out of 10.
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tonight's feature: Stephen King's The Shining (1997 miniseries)
First off, Kubrick's version is a masterpiece. I know it doesn't stick close to the book, that's ok. Probably better than ok because this 1997 miniseries forced all the book into 273 minutes and it's chock full of unnecessary fluff and backstory. This version is only for the Stephen King completist: you get what you missed in the first movie, but also a watered down tv version that is less than scary. In fact, the only thing scary about it is how they can make such an annoying and drawn out version last for 3 full episodes. The kid actor was also annoying. Everyone in 1997 wearing those same Levis jeans is pretty annoying too. Did I mention most of the action takes place during the daytime? That seems even less frightening. If it wasn't The Shining I would have turned it off 30 minutes in. Bonus points for being filmed at the actual Stanley Hotel. 4 over-sized croquet mallets out of 10.
Thursday, November 10, 2022
Movie Review: Mandrake (2022)
Halloween day 11!
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tonight's feature: Mandrake (2022)
Mandrake is a cross between a gritty psychological crime drama and dark Irish folk horror. The film works effectively as it pulls you into the sleepy little village with a terrible past.
Cathy the probation officer ends up with "Bloody" Mary Laidlaw on her client list after Mary is released from prison. She apparently murdered her husband with an axe after he caught her with another dude (the Wandering Man) out in "the moss." The entire town thinks she's a witch (and they're not exactly wrong), but once two children go missing and end up dead they're ready for revenge.
I thought they did a great job with the majority of the movie but the ending was pretty clumsy and left me laughing out loud. You're not 100% sure exactly what happens and I can't tell if that's supposed to leave the door open for a sequel or just poor decision making. 6 screaming baby mandrake roots out of 10.
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tonight's feature: Mandrake (2022)
Mandrake is a cross between a gritty psychological crime drama and dark Irish folk horror. The film works effectively as it pulls you into the sleepy little village with a terrible past.
Cathy the probation officer ends up with "Bloody" Mary Laidlaw on her client list after Mary is released from prison. She apparently murdered her husband with an axe after he caught her with another dude (the Wandering Man) out in "the moss." The entire town thinks she's a witch (and they're not exactly wrong), but once two children go missing and end up dead they're ready for revenge.
I thought they did a great job with the majority of the movie but the ending was pretty clumsy and left me laughing out loud. You're not 100% sure exactly what happens and I can't tell if that's supposed to leave the door open for a sequel or just poor decision making. 6 screaming baby mandrake roots out of 10.
Wednesday, November 9, 2022
Movie Review: Black Sunday (1960)
Halloween day 10!
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tonight's feature: Black Sunday (1960)
Another Mario Bava classic, Black Sunday (alternatively titled The Mask of Satan and Revenge of the Vampire) wasn't exactly a big hit upon first release in its native Italy. After subsequent releases in France and America the movie was considered a pioneering work in Italian gothic horror, setting the standards for terror, eroticism and graphic violence along with making Barbara Steele a major star in Italy.
The film begins with a vampiric witch and her lover being sentenced to death in 1630s Moldavia, putting a curse on the brother who condemned her before she dies. Two centuries later, a doctor and his buddy stumble into the tomb and accidentally start a process where the witch eventually comes back to life. Lots of murder and drama and possession and undead action ensue.
Black Sunday is pretty epic for 1960 and even gives Dracula a run for its money. Definitely a movie everyone should see at some point. 9 giant fake vampire bats out of 10.
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tonight's feature: Black Sunday (1960)
Another Mario Bava classic, Black Sunday (alternatively titled The Mask of Satan and Revenge of the Vampire) wasn't exactly a big hit upon first release in its native Italy. After subsequent releases in France and America the movie was considered a pioneering work in Italian gothic horror, setting the standards for terror, eroticism and graphic violence along with making Barbara Steele a major star in Italy.
The film begins with a vampiric witch and her lover being sentenced to death in 1630s Moldavia, putting a curse on the brother who condemned her before she dies. Two centuries later, a doctor and his buddy stumble into the tomb and accidentally start a process where the witch eventually comes back to life. Lots of murder and drama and possession and undead action ensue.
Black Sunday is pretty epic for 1960 and even gives Dracula a run for its money. Definitely a movie everyone should see at some point. 9 giant fake vampire bats out of 10.
Tuesday, November 8, 2022
Movie Review: A Bay of Blood (1971)
Halloween day 9!
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tonight's feature: A Bay of Blood (1971)
A Bay of Blood may be the most influential of all the early slasher films. Released in Italy in 1971 under the title Antefatto ("Before the Fact"), then later re-released as Ecologia del delitto ("Ecology of Crime"), Reazione a Catena ("Chain Reaction") and Bahia de Sangre ("Bay of Blood" in Spanish) at various times, the film was eventually released in 1972 as Carnage in the states before the name changed to Twitch of the Death Nerve, the Last House on the Left Part II, Last House Part II and also New House on the Left. Directed and co-written by the master of Italian horror, Mario Bava, the film set a new standard in violence and gore.
Basically a complex murder mystery that keeps the murders and murderers ever-changing, A Bay of Blood centers on the death of the ultra wealthy Countess Federica Donati and the many who would claim her estate. But the mystery only seems to get more confounding because everyone seems like they might have been in on it.
Graphic murder scenes aside, this movie draws you in as the characters navigate against each other. Add in the sexy 70s soundtrack with exceptional bongo action and you've got something a step up from your basic Friday the 13th (which copied greatly from this blood splattered classic). 8 billhook machetes out of 10.
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tonight's feature: A Bay of Blood (1971)
A Bay of Blood may be the most influential of all the early slasher films. Released in Italy in 1971 under the title Antefatto ("Before the Fact"), then later re-released as Ecologia del delitto ("Ecology of Crime"), Reazione a Catena ("Chain Reaction") and Bahia de Sangre ("Bay of Blood" in Spanish) at various times, the film was eventually released in 1972 as Carnage in the states before the name changed to Twitch of the Death Nerve, the Last House on the Left Part II, Last House Part II and also New House on the Left. Directed and co-written by the master of Italian horror, Mario Bava, the film set a new standard in violence and gore.
Basically a complex murder mystery that keeps the murders and murderers ever-changing, A Bay of Blood centers on the death of the ultra wealthy Countess Federica Donati and the many who would claim her estate. But the mystery only seems to get more confounding because everyone seems like they might have been in on it.
Graphic murder scenes aside, this movie draws you in as the characters navigate against each other. Add in the sexy 70s soundtrack with exceptional bongo action and you've got something a step up from your basic Friday the 13th (which copied greatly from this blood splattered classic). 8 billhook machetes out of 10.
Monday, November 7, 2022
Movie Review: Alone in the Dark (1982)
Halloween day 8!
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tonight's feature: Alone in the Dark (1982) on Shudder
At first glance Alone in the Dark has the hallmarks of a classic: an epic cast (including heavy hitters Jack Palance, Donald Pleasence and Martin Landau), a punk rock band called The Sick Fucks singing a song called "Chop Chop Chop up your Mother", a premise about multiple psychopaths escaping a mental institution, etc etc. But that's just about where the high expectations end. It also features a wildly uneven script and some wholly unbelievable characters and scenarios, almost like it doesn't really want to be a slasher movie.
The four psychopaths, a former prisoner of war, a pyromaniac, a child molester and a serial killer all escape when the security system fails due to a power outage. They decide to kill their new psychiatrist, picking up weapons at the mall during the blackout. After a while they turn up, more or less, at the psychiatrist's house, kill a few people and torment the family for a while before getting picked off, one by one.
It's not a terrible movie, but there's a lot of psychobabble and grating weirdness that doesn't quite feel right. The psychopaths steal a van and end up feeling more like the Scooby Doo gang than a group of terrifying murderers. A bit of a letdown considering the cast. Sure was fun to see these actors being twisted though. 6 crossbow toting Jack Palances out of 10.
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tonight's feature: Alone in the Dark (1982) on Shudder
At first glance Alone in the Dark has the hallmarks of a classic: an epic cast (including heavy hitters Jack Palance, Donald Pleasence and Martin Landau), a punk rock band called The Sick Fucks singing a song called "Chop Chop Chop up your Mother", a premise about multiple psychopaths escaping a mental institution, etc etc. But that's just about where the high expectations end. It also features a wildly uneven script and some wholly unbelievable characters and scenarios, almost like it doesn't really want to be a slasher movie.
The four psychopaths, a former prisoner of war, a pyromaniac, a child molester and a serial killer all escape when the security system fails due to a power outage. They decide to kill their new psychiatrist, picking up weapons at the mall during the blackout. After a while they turn up, more or less, at the psychiatrist's house, kill a few people and torment the family for a while before getting picked off, one by one.
It's not a terrible movie, but there's a lot of psychobabble and grating weirdness that doesn't quite feel right. The psychopaths steal a van and end up feeling more like the Scooby Doo gang than a group of terrifying murderers. A bit of a letdown considering the cast. Sure was fun to see these actors being twisted though. 6 crossbow toting Jack Palances out of 10.
Sunday, November 6, 2022
Movie Review: Speak No Evil (2022)
Halloween day 7!
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tonight's feature: Speak No Evil (2022) on Shudder
My hot takes: "annoying" "an hour too long" "disturbing and frustrating"
Speak No Evil is some heady and twisted Scandanavian horror. Basically a long descent into annoyingly staying polite and quiet while someone else slowly becomes a bigger and bigger asshole with every passing moment. Also a perfect analogy of when to get up and leave the room if you're being disrespected.
On vacation in Italy, Danish couple Bjørn and Louise and their daughter Agnes meet a Dutch family: Patrick, Karin and their depressed son Abel, allegedly born without a tongue. They seem to hit it off and eventually Patrick invites the Danes to a weekend at his home in the Netherlands. Things start off weird and get weirder, darker and significantly more annoying as the Dutch couple keep pushing the boundaries of dickish behavior. Just past the point where I wrote the entire film off as "a cringey uncomfortable weekend in the Netherlands" things take a shocking turn and one couple become victims of the other.
One review I read said Speak No Evil was a "very black dramedy" and "a malevolent satire on the Nordic culture of taking good manners to the extreme" which makes some of the grating plot points more understandable. It's infuriating to watch someone not fight for their lives when their family is in danger. Maybe I don't quite get the culture references but if someone was going to hurt my wife and kid I am probably going to at least try to gouge their eyes out with whatever is handy. 7 stuffed bunnies out of 10.
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tonight's feature: Speak No Evil (2022) on Shudder
My hot takes: "annoying" "an hour too long" "disturbing and frustrating"
Speak No Evil is some heady and twisted Scandanavian horror. Basically a long descent into annoyingly staying polite and quiet while someone else slowly becomes a bigger and bigger asshole with every passing moment. Also a perfect analogy of when to get up and leave the room if you're being disrespected.
On vacation in Italy, Danish couple Bjørn and Louise and their daughter Agnes meet a Dutch family: Patrick, Karin and their depressed son Abel, allegedly born without a tongue. They seem to hit it off and eventually Patrick invites the Danes to a weekend at his home in the Netherlands. Things start off weird and get weirder, darker and significantly more annoying as the Dutch couple keep pushing the boundaries of dickish behavior. Just past the point where I wrote the entire film off as "a cringey uncomfortable weekend in the Netherlands" things take a shocking turn and one couple become victims of the other.
One review I read said Speak No Evil was a "very black dramedy" and "a malevolent satire on the Nordic culture of taking good manners to the extreme" which makes some of the grating plot points more understandable. It's infuriating to watch someone not fight for their lives when their family is in danger. Maybe I don't quite get the culture references but if someone was going to hurt my wife and kid I am probably going to at least try to gouge their eyes out with whatever is handy. 7 stuffed bunnies out of 10.
Sunday, October 30, 2022
Movie Review: The Omen (1976)
the horror continues... 1 night till Halloween!
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tonight's feature: The Omen (1976) on HBOmax
(SPOILERS?) If you had just one takeaway from the 70s classic horror film The Omen, it should probably be "don't ever take a random baby, especially not from a priest, no matter the circumstances." I watched the Omen several times in my life and it never disappoints. I like how they make the smallest things absolutely terrifying, like taking your kid to church or a dog just sitting there looking at you.
American diplomat Robert Thorn (Gregory Peck) and his wife Kathy are living in Rome when he finds out their newborn baby died in childbirth. A creepy priest says "hey, we have this baby, just take it, what could go wrong? his mother died. so tragic. no seriously, take this random baby. I insist." and after a few minutes Thorn is like, "yeah that IS a good idea, why even tell my wife our baby died?" Of course that's no random baby, it's the son of Satan himself, little Damien, born of jackal. Other priests show up five years later in Britain and try to tell Thorn to kill his son with no success. It takes him the entire movie and everyone dying to figure out the truth and by then it's basically too late as he gets shot in the face trying to do the right thing.
The Omen is considered supernatural horror but it's not quite like most horror movies. By the end there is some very dramatic stuff but the rest is kind of a slow psychological terror, because the audience knows the deep and evil menace could strike at any moment. They did several sequels and a remake in 2006, and now I'll have to put them on the horror to-view list. 8 unfortunate birthmarks out of 10.
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tonight's feature: The Omen (1976) on HBOmax
(SPOILERS?) If you had just one takeaway from the 70s classic horror film The Omen, it should probably be "don't ever take a random baby, especially not from a priest, no matter the circumstances." I watched the Omen several times in my life and it never disappoints. I like how they make the smallest things absolutely terrifying, like taking your kid to church or a dog just sitting there looking at you.
American diplomat Robert Thorn (Gregory Peck) and his wife Kathy are living in Rome when he finds out their newborn baby died in childbirth. A creepy priest says "hey, we have this baby, just take it, what could go wrong? his mother died. so tragic. no seriously, take this random baby. I insist." and after a few minutes Thorn is like, "yeah that IS a good idea, why even tell my wife our baby died?" Of course that's no random baby, it's the son of Satan himself, little Damien, born of jackal. Other priests show up five years later in Britain and try to tell Thorn to kill his son with no success. It takes him the entire movie and everyone dying to figure out the truth and by then it's basically too late as he gets shot in the face trying to do the right thing.
The Omen is considered supernatural horror but it's not quite like most horror movies. By the end there is some very dramatic stuff but the rest is kind of a slow psychological terror, because the audience knows the deep and evil menace could strike at any moment. They did several sequels and a remake in 2006, and now I'll have to put them on the horror to-view list. 8 unfortunate birthmarks out of 10.
Saturday, October 29, 2022
Movie Review: Glorious (2022)
the horror continues... 2 nights till Halloween!
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tonight's feature: Glorious (2022) on Shudder
(SPOILERS?) I put off watching Glorious because I thought it would just be a bunch of senseless gore. The poster shows a guy holding a severed leg so that makes sense, right? But I didn't really notice the pale pink and purple lights and all the tentacles, which would let a discerning fanboy know this is Lovecraft inspired horror at its cosmic squelching best.
Our protagonist, the depressed enigma named Wes, is driving down the highway with his car full of stuff. He stops at a rest area and gets trashed, since he may or may not have lost his girlfriend recently. Once he enters the restroom, however, he is unwittingly stepping into the domain of one of The Great Old Ones, a demigod bent on destruction of humanity and life on earth. He just needs West to complete one small task to set the universe right.
The movie doesn't veer much from this premise or setting but that's ok. It worked for me because it was quite different and pretty heady in the conceptual department. It might be a downer if you were looking for a bloodbath with multiple characters, but I'm pretty glad I gave it a chance. 8 vividly painted glory holes out of 10.
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tonight's feature: Glorious (2022) on Shudder
(SPOILERS?) I put off watching Glorious because I thought it would just be a bunch of senseless gore. The poster shows a guy holding a severed leg so that makes sense, right? But I didn't really notice the pale pink and purple lights and all the tentacles, which would let a discerning fanboy know this is Lovecraft inspired horror at its cosmic squelching best.
Our protagonist, the depressed enigma named Wes, is driving down the highway with his car full of stuff. He stops at a rest area and gets trashed, since he may or may not have lost his girlfriend recently. Once he enters the restroom, however, he is unwittingly stepping into the domain of one of The Great Old Ones, a demigod bent on destruction of humanity and life on earth. He just needs West to complete one small task to set the universe right.
The movie doesn't veer much from this premise or setting but that's ok. It worked for me because it was quite different and pretty heady in the conceptual department. It might be a downer if you were looking for a bloodbath with multiple characters, but I'm pretty glad I gave it a chance. 8 vividly painted glory holes out of 10.
Friday, October 28, 2022
Movie Review: The Cleansing Hour (2020)
the horror continues... 3 nights till Halloween!
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tonight's feature: The Cleansing Hour (2020) on Shudder
The Cleansing Hour might work for some Gen Z kids but I had a hard time restraining myself from turning it off and taking a nap. Not because I was tired, but because the movie was tired: forced script, corny one-liners, ding dong premise, unbelievable schtick, grating characters, idiotic dialogue... etc. Not even trying to be scary. Or maybe they just failed at it.
Father Max, a fake priest who does fake exorcisms on a popular webcast show, gets the shock of his life when an actual demonic presence takes over the actress in the latest episode. Almost the entire movie is this one drawn out scenario which is being livestreamed to a growing worldwide audience. Father Max and his producer buddy Drew have to get their wits about them to defeat this old demon that's just trying to get famous on the internet. So strap in, because it's going to take a very, very long time to get this over with. I mean, how do you do an exorcism if you're just douchey young Max (who says he quit the priesthood years ago but also killed a nun once in catholic school) in real life? You're going to have to google it and I'm going to be here cringing all the while.
Shockingly the film had decent scores online which led me to give it a go, but I found The Cleansing Hour painfully bad. Like insultingly bad. Maybe I am being too harsh after seeing multiple films this week that were pretty damn good? Doesn't matter. I'm not getting those 94 minutes back. 1 Lucifer pretending to be another demon to possess the entire world via your dumb youtube video out of 10.
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tonight's feature: The Cleansing Hour (2020) on Shudder
The Cleansing Hour might work for some Gen Z kids but I had a hard time restraining myself from turning it off and taking a nap. Not because I was tired, but because the movie was tired: forced script, corny one-liners, ding dong premise, unbelievable schtick, grating characters, idiotic dialogue... etc. Not even trying to be scary. Or maybe they just failed at it.
Father Max, a fake priest who does fake exorcisms on a popular webcast show, gets the shock of his life when an actual demonic presence takes over the actress in the latest episode. Almost the entire movie is this one drawn out scenario which is being livestreamed to a growing worldwide audience. Father Max and his producer buddy Drew have to get their wits about them to defeat this old demon that's just trying to get famous on the internet. So strap in, because it's going to take a very, very long time to get this over with. I mean, how do you do an exorcism if you're just douchey young Max (who says he quit the priesthood years ago but also killed a nun once in catholic school) in real life? You're going to have to google it and I'm going to be here cringing all the while.
Shockingly the film had decent scores online which led me to give it a go, but I found The Cleansing Hour painfully bad. Like insultingly bad. Maybe I am being too harsh after seeing multiple films this week that were pretty damn good? Doesn't matter. I'm not getting those 94 minutes back. 1 Lucifer pretending to be another demon to possess the entire world via your dumb youtube video out of 10.
Thursday, October 27, 2022
Movie Review: Barbarian (2022)
the horror continues... 4 nights till Halloween!
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tonight's feature: Barbarian (2022) on HBOmax
Depending on your tastes, Barbarian is either the best new horror movie you've seen or just another ho-hum, overrated affair. I can't comprehend the latter because I absolutely loved this movie. I was lucky enough to have a friend warn me in advance not to read any spoilers and I think that made a difference. So if you haven't yet, then definitely don't.
Without ruining the plot entirely, Barbarian is basically a sordid tale of what could go horribly wrong with that quaint little Airbnb you booked. But it's also a film where you might stand up in a theater and shout things like "DON'T DO IT!", "WHAT THE F****!" or "AW HELL NAW!" before covering your eyes with your hand.
Despite what seemed like a slow start, Barbarian has you thinking you know what's up before turning the entire story on its head. For that alone it should get an academy award, but what do I know? 10 bottles of milk out of 10.
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tonight's feature: Barbarian (2022) on HBOmax
Depending on your tastes, Barbarian is either the best new horror movie you've seen or just another ho-hum, overrated affair. I can't comprehend the latter because I absolutely loved this movie. I was lucky enough to have a friend warn me in advance not to read any spoilers and I think that made a difference. So if you haven't yet, then definitely don't.
Without ruining the plot entirely, Barbarian is basically a sordid tale of what could go horribly wrong with that quaint little Airbnb you booked. But it's also a film where you might stand up in a theater and shout things like "DON'T DO IT!", "WHAT THE F****!" or "AW HELL NAW!" before covering your eyes with your hand.
Despite what seemed like a slow start, Barbarian has you thinking you know what's up before turning the entire story on its head. For that alone it should get an academy award, but what do I know? 10 bottles of milk out of 10.
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